86 Comments
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Texas Khaan's avatar

Grok is autistic and has a speech impediment, probably smokes that "good weed" too.

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Sarcastic Cynical Texan's avatar

It's most definitely Grok's Ketamine abuse which makes it so very special. Some wise guy said long ago that computers are "high speed idiots" . . . A. I. is by extension of that very sound logic nothing more than an exceedingly fast retard.

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Biff's avatar

I couldn't agree more. People are too razzle dazzled by tech, and they fail to realize how stupid it is, because even the smartest computer in the world will always be far behind a very average level of human intelligence. We've all known people who can talk fast, spit out a million facts a minute, and still say nothing. That's how I feel about AI. I don't take it seriously.

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Texas Khaan's avatar

Dave,

"We" that's both of "us" hope you get well soon. I swear, you need to get a big ol jug of airag, the stuff is amazing, cures all sorts of maladies.

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Ricardo's avatar

> Yo, Grok! I'm stranded in the middle of the Gobi Desert and need to find my way out.

> Download the Uber App, and we'll pick you up in a Tesla...gyuk gyuk gyuk.

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Sarcastic Cynical Texan's avatar

Being one of the two of "us" who recently visited the Gobi I say this . . .

LOL x 1,000 !!!

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Mike Carroll's avatar

You have no idea how much I hate the idiots who appeal to Grok like it's an all knowing deity. It simply aggregates from everything online and if enough idiots say something Grok goes with it thinking it's "true". Even worse is it constantly botched things where that shouldn't even be an issue like dates.

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Ricardo's avatar

Even the other AI bots make fun of Grok. But, MAGA!

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Brettbaker's avatar

"Grok, write a poem entitled Why Then Does The Jew Laugh in the style of Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings". (Surprised this hasn't been done yet!)

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David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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noochness's avatar

The Day the Jew Laughed---reminds me of Jerry Lewis's magnum opus The Day the Clown Cried.

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Natalie's avatar

Well, now you don’t get a damn thing for your birthday since the kill my job/destroy humanity machine informed me you have filthy Ukrainian blood.

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David Cole's avatar

BTW, I'm sorry for not replying to your email yet...I've been sick as a dog for the past week. As in, "too sick to even type." So much for a drunken joyous birthday week.

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noochness's avatar

"Sick as a Dog" from Aerosmith's album Coke, err, Rocks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2ELqxc6BL4

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Natalie's avatar

Not a single worry; I generally assume you have something funny, exciting, or utterly retarded happening :)

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David Cole's avatar

Yeah...this one's the latter.

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noochness's avatar

He's a volume of I.B. Singer stories made flesh!

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David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!

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Harshkumar's avatar

Hope you feel better soon. Fascinating documentation of Grok's apologies and failure to correct itself.

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G Meadow's avatar

Your relationship with Grok. Reminds me of the movie, What About Bob? Only you are Richard Dreyfuss and Grok is Bob.

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David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!!!

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Patrick's avatar

Is it okay to think it's hilarious that you are having an online fight with a retarded AI, and that this whole thing sounds like a pilot for a new sitcom? Anyway, let's hope Grok doesn't decide to skip the explaining/apologizing and go straight to the Becoming-Self-Aware-And-Launching-The-Nukes thing.

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noochness's avatar

Grok Can F**k Itself is an American dark comedy-drama television series created by Valerie Armstrong, who also serves as an executive producer.

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noochness's avatar
David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!

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Kelly Harbeson's avatar

I have never liked or trusted AI in any of its manifestations. Seems like way too many people use it as a substitute for research, critical thinking and/or thinking at all. I was a child in the 60's and was exposed to a lot of apocolyptic fears and fantasies. I never anticipated that the human race might end itself by teaching machines to mimic thinking and making itself obsolete. The people pushing this seem to have no problem making the majority of people into useless drones. Are they aware that as they have less reasons to reason they are making themselves and the rest of the self-described elites as useless as all the others just on a slightly delayed time frame? Large Language Models may be the answer to the Fermi Paradox. Happy Big Day, Dave. Many more.

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Skip's avatar

Dave, I was at a conference this weekend where Jon Vervake, a well respected cognitive scientist and philosopher, made a passionate and repeated argument that the LLM AI models should never be used. Period. End of Story.

Your own battle with Grok is a microcosm of his argument: it's not only that they cannot be trusted just based on how they acquire "knowledge" (which increasingly looks and acts like a digital version of the Human Centipede twisted into a mobius strip), but there is a growing body of hard research showing that those who do use them prolifically actually do get dumber - they lose the ability to actually think and reason across the board, and lose (rapidly) hard skills in any more advanced areas where they push their reliance (e.g. writing, mathematics, medicine, you name it). They also tend to make certain vulnerable people have psychotic breakdowns.

Which probably explains exactly why the "holohoax" nitwits keep using it.

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David Cole's avatar

Fascinating!

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Skip's avatar

If his full lecture (which covered a lot of ground) turns up on Youtube, I'll try to remember to post you a link. It's great stuff.

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David Cole's avatar

Please do!

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Skip's avatar

It's finally live:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8i-j6TciSk

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S.A. Dehnadi's avatar

David, I have come to see Grok as a senile professor who suffers from Alzheimers.

I discovered its lack of consistency and accuracy a long time ago.

It’s blown up. And Musk fucked himself royally by playing the edgy memelord game.

Other AIs aren’t perfect either, but Grok is my least favorite AI model. I’d take DeepSeek over it any day.

I discussed you with Chat GPT-5 and even that model gets things wrong about your 90s chronicles.

But people use Grok for two things: self-affirmation and self-validity

I had to go around in circles asking GPT about the origin and use of the term “woke” finally I settled on a VOX article by some commie karen.

You ended up in my thesis as well. I cited RPA as you yourself stand against the historical grand narrative.

Since you never check your DMs, happy birthday in advance, friend! 😘

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David Cole's avatar

I do check, my good friend! And I owe you several replies. It's been a little crazy here, getting one book ready for the printer and writing a second one from scratch. That, combined with being under-the-weather recently has me, as always, falling behind on correspondences.

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S.A. Dehnadi's avatar

I’m so glad to hear you’re having a productive time, David.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well lately. Hope this passes.

Good luck with the second book.

Do keep us updated in regard to your progress, and endeavors.

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David Cole's avatar

This bug has REALLY kicked the stuffing outta me. Worst week I've had in ages. This morning's the first day I'm finally getting some energy back.

Being sick while living in a hotel room is a unique experience.

Good aspect: New linens, towels, and toilet paper delivered to your room upon request.

Bad aspect: Having to explain to housekeeping why you'd prefer to clean the room yourself ("sorry, Maria, but it's ugly. REAL ugly").

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S.A. Dehnadi's avatar

That’s terrible. And I hear California has had two cases of people with the plague now! Be careful out there. It seems the urban areas are not sanitary. God knows what’s airborne right now over there.

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David Cole's avatar

Well, I can say with confidence that my disorder was not airborne. Just something that badly upset my gut. VERY badly.

Interestingly, those plague cases are WAAAY up north, near Lake Tahoe. Very rural area. Our plague carriers tend to be in our wooded areas. Bad as out city rats are, they typically don't spread plague. Generally speaking, black rats (also known as roof rats), which is what we have in L.A., aren't plague vectors. You're at much higher risk from rural creatures.

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Edmund Eugenius's avatar

SLAVA JEWKRAINI! Enjoy your beer!

Also, the AI retardation is something that I can never correct. I can easily bully Microsoft Co-Pilot into agreeing with me on even the most blatant falsehoods.

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Gunther Heinz's avatar

If being on TV didn´t get you any chicks, then there was not point to it.

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David Cole's avatar

You can see my two blonde dates to the show as they cut to one of the commercial breaks.

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Gunther Heinz's avatar

I believe I met one of them in real life. And I said to her that she could not possibly get pregnant standing up. She didn´t believe me so I offered to jizzzz against the wall, to see if it would flow up. She threatened to call the police.

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SandyC4's avatar

Oh here we go. Admission time. I saw your headline and thought, "Who the hell is Grok?" But wait, it gets better. Always does. A few lines in I saw that you mentioned Musk. So I then thought, "Is Grok one of his dumbass kids?" (in a way I guess it is.) I think you're going to make yourself nuts interacting with this thing. Aren't the live idiots enough? Forget hair, I'd be pulling out my own teeth after this. I avoid AI and chatbots and co-pilot and all that crap like the plague. (Was going to say X, when you think about it, really no difference.) Sorry to hear that you haven't been well this week. If it helps at all (and for just once it might) it's been a suck ass week here. On Monday, less than a year after having to euthanize Pye I had to do the same with Punkinhead. Liver cancer. So I can at least empathize with having a bad week. I do hope that you're feeling better. We need you well.

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David Cole's avatar

Hi Sandy - sorry I didn't reply earlier. This bug kicked the tar outta me. I had zero energy yesterday for anything, even emails. Please accept my most heartfelt condolences over Punkinhead. I'm truly, truly sorry. That stuff never gets easier. That's why I just can't put myself through it again. It's such heartbreak. My thoughts are with you, my friend.

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SandyC4's avatar

No apology needed, you were sick. And thank you. You're so right about it not getting easier. I don't think I could do this again. Here's a sort of funny little side note about that day. We got home from the vet feeling kind of wiped and one of my first thoughts was about you. I almost sent you a DM asking if the universe was cutting you any breaks right now as it was busy crapping all over me. Guess the bastard got us both.

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David Cole's avatar

Yes...this past week is one I hope I never repeat, and I'm certain you feel the same way. Good riddance to some bad days.

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Ricardo's avatar

Sorry about Pye and Punkinhead.

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SandyC4's avatar

Thanks.

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Ricardo's avatar

Some dude wrote this about dogs living a short life. Would not be surprised if you've already read it. But here it goes.

https://www.takimag.com/article/on-god-and-dogs/

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SandyC4's avatar

Yeah, the name of the dude and said column both seem vaguely familiar. Was definitely worth another read. And much appreciated.

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martyrmadefanboy's avatar

Have you ever written about your most deeply held convictions and titled it "Cole's Law"?

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martyrmadefanboy's avatar

(I will be on pins and needles until I find out whether I am understood)

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Ricardo's avatar

> MOTHER, AS A PERSON OF UKRAINIAN DESCENT, WHEN AM I GETTING HOLOMODOR REPARATIONS FROM THE JEWS?

> UNABLE TO COMPUTE

> BUT I MADE MY CASE WITH NUMBERS IN THE MONTEL WILLIAMS SHOW

> AVAILABLE DATA INSUFFICIENT

> WHAT ARE MY CHANCES?

> DOES NOT COMPUTE--MAY BE TRY GROK

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noochness's avatar

I heard a good line yesterday on a Glenn Diesen podcast, that Russians refer jokingly to Ukraine as “Russia's unfaithful wife”.

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Tim from England's avatar

You're Jewish? How long has this been going on for? Fucking hell, I thought you were a bean, well that's what AI said.

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David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!

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Biff's avatar

David Colón, the great American bean writer.

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