Exploding Heads and Imploding Elons

A doughy alabaster autist shows us the way...to Hell.

As promised, I’m just writing about movies now.

Okay, one brief political aside.

Last week Elon Musk retweeted a white supremacist who declared “White solidarity is the only way to survive” because “nonwhites” will “slaughter us.”

Musk retweeted that adding 100%!

If White men become a minority, we will be slaughtered. Remember, if non-Whites openly hate White men while White men hold a collective majority, then they will be 1000x times more hostile and cruel when they are a majority over Whites. White solidarity is the only way to survive.

“Racism is moral,” Musk’s friend “Jerr” concludes in his follow-up tweet.

So you’re really gonna go down that road, are you? Straight-up white racism?

Okay, dickbags, answer this one question: What is white solidarity?

What is it? What does it mean in practical terms?

American voters already favor strict immigration controls by a wide margin. Same with disfavoring race-based hiring and admissions practices. So you have that already. What more do you want? What will define that “solidarity?” Enforced agreement among whites? Okay, agreement on what exactly? Religious belief? Musical taste? Racial preference in a mate? Racial preference among friends? Will it come down to who you hang with, who you call friend - better a dull-witted, dislikable, pure-blooded white than a funny, affable buddy with “mongrel” blood in his veins?

Does it mean siding with a white when he’s in the wrong over a “mongrel” who’s in the right?

What exactly does “white solidarity” mean?

Calling black people nigger?

Because that’s what Elon’s pal wants. Hell, that’s what he did mere hours before Elon retweeted him…he went on an “anti-niggaboo” spree:

…so I guess he wants you to speak that way as well.

So tell me, you diarrheal skidmarks, what is “white solidarity?”

Fill in the blank: “White solidarity means that all white people __________________.”

Spell it out for me. I’m really curious to know.

BTW, nations like Mexico and Costa Rica have large minorities of non-Hispanic white expats and retirees. Are they being killed? According to Elon, all whites who are minorities among nonwhites get slaughtered. Is that true in Latin America? Korea (over 170,000 Americans live there)? The Bahamas? Qatar? Dubai? Singapore? The Virgin Islands?

Having recently invented one fake genocide (“leftists are killing us!”) you’ve now invented a second: “All whites in majority-nonwhite nations are being slaughtered.”

You’re liars. Serial fakers.

L.A. is a white-minority county. Yes, blacks commit a disproportionate amount of crime, and yes, crime went down when “black L.A.” was sent packing. But Mexicans, Belizeans, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Thais, Indians, Armenians, Saudis, Syrians, and Persians (who collectively outnumber non-Hispanic whites) are not slaughtering whites. It’s just not happening, you fucking idiots.

Not that this matters to you punchbowl turds. You’ve made your choice: White solidarity is the issue that’s gonna win 2026 and 2028!

It’s fascinating, really, the extent of your stupidity. You actually think that the average white American has no friends of color. No coworkers of color. No positive thoughts toward anyone even slightly darker than he. The average white American voter paces his floor 24/7, an anxious mess of nerves, worried that everyone in his city with less than 100% Nordic blood is out to slaughter him (as meanwhile all nonwhites pace their floors just waiting for the opportunity to slaughter those with lighter skin). And now, thankfully, Elon has endorsed what every white voter knows: yes, every nonwhite wants to kill you so you must band together with your fellow whites, as there is no living, working, or socially mixing with nonwhites.

You really believe that. And you think white voters will be so receptive of this message that they’ll reward the GOP at the ballot box. Because no white person in America sees any good in any nonwhite. Or enjoys their company. Or works alongside them.

Even the fucking GROYPERS aren’t exclusionary of nonwhites. Why would you think average apolitical white voters are?

You fucking morons. The extent to which I despise you for your stupidity cannot be measured in degrees or expressed in words. It’s not “the Jews” or “the blacks” or “the whites” who need exterminating; it’s anyone who thinks that what Elon tweeted is a positive. Those people should die; they’re a drag on humankind’s IQ.

What truly intrigues me (and me alone, judging by the lack of press) is how Elon has retweeted and boosted Holocaust deniers, Nazis who say Hitler was right and the Jews should be killed, the self-described leader of the “Christian Taliban” who wants to enslave women, and now a “niggaboo”-hating white supremacist who calls for “white solidarity”…and it NEVER hurts Musk’s business! His brand never suffers.

You paranoid fuckfaces whine endlessly about how you’re always being “canceled.” You cry rivers of sewer-stenched tears every time some obscure leftist tweets something mean about whites. You’re always victims victims victims. Except…you have the wealthiest man in the world in your corner, and he says things that are far worse (from a racial hate perspective) than anything you asswipes ever complained about from the “liburrel media,” and he always gets away with it. He never has any consequences dealt to him, and he boosts YOUR stupid asses when you follow his hateful lead. And STILL you cry like victims.

Fuck “canceling.” People should be taking sledgehammers to Teslas. Sorry, simps. I’m 100% in favor of a campaign of vandalism against anything Musk is attached to. I’d feel less inclined to promote such a response, except your cowardice necessitates it. Who’ll speak out against Musk? Nobody on the right; they might get shadowbanned! They might lose followers! Fates worse than death. You scared little mice.

“White solidarity because all nonwhites would slaughter us if they had the chance? Well, garsh, I don’t actually believe that, but…but…well, I don’t wanna go against Mister Musk.”

So fuck him and fuck you too. I hope we get to the point where nobody with a Tesla feels safe parking it on a public street. Musk’s a Nazi, a Klansman by rhetoric, and everyone’s just letting it happen. He’s toxic; his brands must be made toxic too.

How we react to Musk will define our character. And I don’t mean our national character, though that, too. I mean your character. You’re with the Nazis and Klansmen, or you’re not.

I come from a time when conservatives were sincerely against racial hate. A time when the great Lee Atwater denounced David Duke at every opportunity, in the most absolute terms, using all the weapons in his arsenal to prevent Duke from being mainstreamed in the GOP. Today? Tucker Carlson once again praises Nazi Nick Fuentes as a genius who should be followed, and the very next day Carlson’s in the White House by Trump’s side.

This is no longer about keeping Home Depot parking lots free of drywallers. I’m reminded of a joke…shit, I can’t remember if it was Dennis Miller or Norm Macdonald, but it was from the height of the Lewinsky scandal, and it went something like “still calling this ‘the Whitewater scandal’ is like saying ‘Heisman winner O.J. Simpson.’ We’re so past that point!”

MAGA leaders are now openly calling for race war (“If we don’t band together as whites, the NIGGABOOS will slaughter us!”) and the extermination of Jews.

Sorry, guys; I’m out. I‘ll take my chances with the drywallers.

“Stop being such a drama queen, Cole, it’s not that bad” is exactly the DM I’ll get from several of you who don’t agree with Musk yet who’ve been too intimidated to speak against him. Which proves it IS that bad. So spare me.

MAGA’s fall will be satisfying. It’ll certainly start this year in November, but to whatever extent, in whatever increments, it comes sooner, the better indeed.

Okay, I’m done with you. Movies only from now on.

Un-Urned Income

1984’s Dreamscape was a terrible film, to be sure. Dennis Quaid (aka “the Quaid who’s not insane”) stars as a psychic who’s recruited by Max von Sydow and Kate “struck it rich with the Golden Jew” Capshaw to infiltrate people’s dreams to help them overcome their night terrors. Unfortunately, a CIA villain (Christopher Plummer) is recruiting evil psychics to infiltrate people’s dreams to murder them in their sleep.

The evil psychic is played by David Patrick Kelly, best known as the guy who squealed “Warriors, come out and play-yay” before jumping off the face of the earth.

Thrown into the mix is the President of the United States (Eddie Albert), who’s haunted by nightmares in which his recently-deceased wife dies in a nukyular holycaust.

No surprise that Albert’s wife would be dead. Remember, this is the asshole from Green Acres whose wife told him that moving to the countryside would inflame her allergies, and he was like “fuck you, bitch - you’re coming with me.”

Dick.

Anyway, evil CIA guy Plummer is worried that President Albert’s anti-nuke nightmares will make him soft on the Russians, so he inserts evil psychic Kelly into the president’s dreams to kill him. But heroic psychic Quaid shows up and helps the president battle the dream assassin.

Screenplay by Louisa May Alcott based on a story by Button Gwinnett.

I saw the film in theaters when it came out, and of course I found it laughable. But one thing I never noticed until a recent re-viewing is director Joseph Ruben’s estimable subtlety regarding the movie’s first scene.

Following the credits, we open on a woman being vaporized in a nuclear explosion:

Eddie Albert wakes up screaming from a nightmare. Beside his bed is a photo of the woman we just saw.

Get it? The woman in the nightmare was……….his WIFE!

The door to the bedroom opens…it’s a Secret Service guy. “Are you okay, Mr. President?”

See? He’s………………..the PRESIDENT!

And on the wall is a photo of Lincoln.

See? It’s…………………………the WHITE HOUSE!

And right there, perched on the edge of a thin little table, is an urn.

See? The wife………………………………….is DEAD!

What dexterity this Ruben possesses. No wonder he also gave us the Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson classic Money Train.

But seriously - it’s the fucking White House and the only place they could put the First Lady’s ashes is on the edge of a tiny table right by a busy doorway? Why is it on the edge, all by itself, like an unwanted ashtray? It’s the First Lady’s fucking ashes! Alone in a corner, so that it can fit in the shot.

Some say it’s an example of stupid set design. Others say it’s an example of very stupid set design.

Seriously - this is how a mediocre hack can take the concept of “show don’t tell” and make it suck.

BTW, Ruben’s nickname as a director was Witch Wart. Because he was always on the nose.

Headstrong, Mindblown

I’ve always wanted to do a YouTube channel in which I freeze-frame dummy heads right before they blow up in movies.

Like Scorsese’s infamous quick-cut to a De Niro dummy when the car explodes in Casino:

Decades before Marty de-aged Bobby for The Irishman, he chisel-chinned him in Casino.

“You lookin’ at me?”

Never Say Never Again was supposed to be Sean Connery’s triumphant return to the world of Bond, but it ended up being every insomniac’s triumphant return to the world of sleep.

Here’s where Bond blows up villainess Barbara Carrera by shooting an exploding projectile into her:

Yes, the projectile turned her into a scarecrow. And it deserves a closeup:

Now, you’re likely thinking, “Okay, Sean Connery debased himself in a movie in which he kills a mannequin, but I’m sure Roger Moore never did.”

How wrong you are! In the 1990 action/comedy Bullseye, a mega-flop considered a career low for Moore and costar Michael Caine, Moore tricks a train steward into opening a booby-trapped compartment.

The mannequin’s head pops right off. No, the character’s not a robot; that’s supposed to be a human.

Connery’s scarecrow doesn’t seem so bad now, huh?

Speaking of action heroes…

Everyone loves Danny Trejo. But don’t tell that to Charles Bronson, who blew him up in Death Wish IV.

Did you catch the transition to dummy? Pretty seamless, no?

The funny thing is, the explosion is done in post; there was no need for the dummy. But producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus used it anyway because the Talmud so instructs (“If a man produceth a fake Beanerhead that looketh nothing like the Bean, his box office shall not faileth to break even.” - Sanhedrin 147B).

In Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond, when this Pippi Longstocking-lookin’ ho becomes a zombie and has to be shot in the head…

…her death is preceded by a sudden case of Down syndrome.

Speaking of zombies, in Dawn of the Dead, George Romero and his special effects “whiz” Tom Savini invented the neckbeard.

Yep - Savini is a genius.

In 1972’s The Devonsville Terror, German director Ulli Lommel made an interesting choice for an exploding head scene. Beams are shot into the eyes of the villain…

…causing the head to light up…

…which could’ve easily segued to the explosion of grey matter. But no. Lommel decides to cut from the flash of light to this oral sex doll.

“Ulli” is German for incompetent.

As is Rutger, in Dutch. In the 1986 Rutger Hauer vehicle Wanted: Dead or Alive, Hauer plays a bounty hunter pursuing an Arab terrorist played by Gene Simmons. Because of course.

At the end of the film, Hauer sticks a grenade in the handcuffed Simmons’ mouth and pulls the pin.

“Kiss your ass goodbye!”

Simmons staggers around…

…and turns into this before exploding.

If the Simmons dummy looks familiar to you, it was the inspiration for the iconic “monkey Jesus” fresco.

Now, the 1982 Aussie film Turkey Shoot gives us to two better-than-average dummy heads. At the movie’s climax, the female villain gets jabbed with an exploding arrow.

It’s not the worst mannequin ever, but the wrists need work.

Better still is the male villain. He gets shot with an exploding bullet!

Here he is, battling the heroes in fine form...

…only to become this…

The dummy looks kinda morose about its incipient fate. But all credit to director Blair Dinkum for perfectly lining up the actor with the pole. He had to - the dummy’s quite clearly tied to it.

It’s unhappy days for Erin Moran in Galaxy of Terror, when the late sitcom sister’s head is crushed by alien tentacles.

But before exploding, it turns into this:

Why is the dummy head missing an eye? Producer Roger Corman likely needed it on another film he was shooting in the room next door.

Asian cinema, especially during its shittiest years in the 1970s and ‘80s, was not above - or below - flirting with terrible dummy heads. One of the finest examples comes from the 1987 action flick Terminal Angels. At the film’s climax, the two heroes jointly shoot the villain in the noggin.

To be fair, he’s shooting at them too. In very menacing golf attire.

Breathtaking.

Director Godfrey Ho was so fond of that dummy head, he actually repeats the moment in closeup:

Competence. That’s why the Chinese can build three bullet trains in a month while it takes Americans five years to build one Hooters.

But let’s not end on a bad note. Supposedly, the Dutch have the highest collective IQ of any nation in Europe.

With a language that looks like “oop-eek moop-meek boom boom bork?” I doubt it.

That said, the fake head from the 1983 Dutch horror film The Lift is not bad at all. A dude, played by award-winning Dutch actor Beep vander Boop, is about to get his head crushed in an elevator.

Right before the smooshing, we cut to the fake head:

Not bad, really. One lazy eye, but otherwise decent.

I have LOTS more of these, but that’ll do for now. Have any favorites of your own? Let me know in the comments. And please don’t mention Scanners. Yes, I know about Scanners. Everyone knows about Scanners. And Raiders. I didn’t want to cover the overly-familiar ones. Plus, those didn’t suck.

Too bad if this isn’t the content you want from me. I give you permission to unsub. I mean it, no more harassing of unsubbers. Go ahead; feel free.

Maybe one day when you stop being retarded, I’ll go back to politics again.

Wanna make MY head explode? A donation to Old Dave via Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo will help keep my faith in humanity from sinking TOO low.