Hillelbilly Elegy

A Jew Surrenders

Once per century, Nazis make a Jew do this…

So yeah, I give up. You want Nazis, you got ‘em. The right has decided that the magical key to unending victory is Nazis.

Time will tell. Well, not to you; time means nothing to you because you can’t process events that displease you. When Nazism leads to electoral disaster, you’ll put the blame on anything other than what caused it.

Having surrendered, I’ll try to write about something else next month.

Maybe I’ll finally give life to my favorite column-opening running gag from Takimag…

Oh how Taki’s daughter loved that bit…

Anyway, do your unsubs now. Next week: why the “Angels of Death” episode of The New Avengers was a low point for 1970s British spy shows.

But this week, here’s some crap of lesser importance.

Readers and Riches

I ain’t good at math, but even I can spot numerical anomalies. Like how my Substack stats show my “open rate” (how many of my subscribers actually open the emails they receive), and it’s only about 37%. But my overall views for each piece are rather high. Meaning, I get way more reads than would come from only 37% of my subs. This indicates that many, many readers don’t sub.

So you assholes who’ll follow @WoodenDoors4ZioWhores1488 because he had “one good tweet,” who balk at my suggestion that when you see a Nazi with “one good tweet” you bookmark the page instead of following him and thus boosting him in Musk’s already Nazi-friendly algorithm, have no problem doing that shit to me - reading without giving me a sub.

You people are SUCH dicks.

See, this is why I post my “tip-jar” links at the end of each piece (Buy Me a Beer and GiveSendGo). I do it because I have so many ghost readers, the “tips” at least let me know you’re out there. It boosts my morale, makes me want to keep writing these things. And yes, dear reader who has no problem being publicly listed as one of @KikeKillerWaffen’s followers on X but blanches at having my Substack in their sub list, you can donate anonymously to either site. God forbid that in an age in which rightists are mainstreaming Nazis who say “kill the Jews,” you should ever have a public association with me.

You Who?

A commenter recently asked why I’m always insulting my readers. “Why do you say ‘you assholes’ and ‘you dicks’ and ‘you retards?’ These are your subscribers!”

Ah, but no. See, I love my subscribers, the ones unafraid to sub and comment. I’ve gotten to know these guys over the past three years, and when I’m writing, I’m not writing to them; I’m writing with them. I’m imagining them by my side as we collectively yell at the right’s weakest minds and greatest cowards. My regulars know that the insults aren’t directed at them. I’m insulting the worst element for them, as their proxy.

Glad to clear that up.

“Here Comes the Mirror Man (Jew-ooo-ooo-ooooo!)”

The extent to which left and right mirror each other never ceases to amaze me (even if it never ceases to evade you). Rightists who oppose open borders, DEI, progressive prosecution, and tranny ideology, have, over the years, been ludicrously denounced by leftists as “Nazis.”

It’s ludicrous because surely people who oppose open borders, oppose DEI, oppose defund the police, and who are skeptical that “baby souls get dropped into the wrong bodies,” aren’t as bad as Nazis.

Right?

RIGHT?

Well, not according to some of you. Because these days, it’s rightists who are equating opponents of trannyism, open borders, DEI, and defund, with Nazis.

That’s exactly what His Royal Beardship Matt Walsh does when he claims that because rightists have been “canceled” in the past, rightists must therefore unite with and defend those who are being targeted for “cancelation” now.

Walsh’s point is essentially, “Canceling Tucker, Owens, or Fuentes for their views on Jews is as bad as canceling me for my views on trannies. We must support with equal vigor anyone ‘on the right’ who is targeted for cancelation, as it’s all part of the same oppressive game of silencing us.”

Now you sloths are probably thinking “damn that Walsh is principled! Manicured beard, manicured mind.”

Well, you’re idiots. The right needs to cancel itself more, because one of MAGA’s gravest deficiencies is lack of discernment, an inability to sift intelligent and constructive ideas from moronic and damaging ones. This is why common-sense skepticism of anything - Covid policies, race-based social engineering, etc. - will eventually drift to absurd extremes (space is fake, science doesn’t exist, Jews are genociding us, etc.).

The right needs cancelation of bad ideas because, like children, rightists are terribly prone to accepting them. With nobody to say, “you’re taking this too far,” rightists will always take it too far.

Telling rightists, especially MAGAs, “anything goes, all ideas are equal,” is to invite inevitable disaster. Because all ideas are not equal, and while all ideas are equal in the eyes of the law (First Amendment blather blather blather), all ideas are not equal in quality. And ironically it’s the same people, the same rightists, who are willing to say "not all humans are equal in abilities” who are most at risk of being conned into thinking “all ideas are equal in value.”

When Tucker’s favorite pseudointellectual pseudohistorical rabbit-faced fraud Darryl Cooper says this…

…he has a reason: he’s a living breathing bad idea (“Hitler was only trying to feed starving Jews but because of Churchill they had to be humanely euthanized”), so he directly benefits from disassociating any debate about platforming from a discussion of quality and value.

But you? You don’t benefit from that. You lose elections from that.

“Kill the Jews, burn women alive, Hitler was right, Jews drink baby blood at Passover” are not the same as “Third World immigration harms the country, DEI in the workplace and academia leads to a decline in quality, progressive prosecution and decarceration leads to increased crime, and a man in a dress is not a woman and baby souls do not get ‘dropped into the wrong body.’”

Yet according to Walsh, we must never judge ideas for value and jettison the worst ones because it’s more important to “own the libs” by never canceling anyone or anything, as only through viewing all “rightist” ideas as equally worthy can we…uh…defeat leftism or something like that.

Funny enough, Walsh pisses on his own parade, sullies his own accomplishments, by not acknowledging that his views on transgenderism are of better quality than “kill the Jews.” His views are NOT worthy of deplatforming, “kill the Jews” is. Period.

Discernment, boobs.

But Walsh rejects discernment; he refuses to cede that some views deserve platforming more than others.

In the end, it turns out that Walsh subscribes to a philosophy as bizarre as “baby soul-drops.” And one just as socially damaging. Trannies claim that questioning baby soul-drops amounts to hate speech. And when Walsh says “kill the Jews” deserves equal platforming alongside “transgenderism is not scientifically tenable,” he’s affirming what trannies say. By equating transgender skepticism with “kill the Jews,” by equating speech that’s not hateful with speech that is, by putting tranny skepticism on the same plane of worthiness as “kill the Jews,” Walsh is agreeing with the trannies.

If “transgenderism is not scientifically sound” is not less hateful than “kill the Jews,” then it’s AS hateful.

Conversely, I say cancel harder. This fucking hippie phase you clods are going through right now (“all ideas are, like, equally cool, man. Who’s to say what’s right or wrong? It’s all beautiful”) has worn out its welcome. At least to me.

Deplatforming bad ideas means being willing to admit that not all ideas are equal, and having the mental acuity to tell sound from unsound, fact-based from hate-based.

Tragically, many of you are intellectually incapable of the task.

And to be clear, I’m not saying Walsh advocates “kill the Jews.” But he is saying that “kill the Jews” is worthy of the same platforming as his own tranny skepticism, and he’s attacking as “infighters” anyone who doesn’t let “kill the Jews” into the fold.

That’s its own kind of advocacy.

When Bimbos Can Outthink You, Just Pack It In

Nobody understands your lack of discernment better than Megyn Kelly. Her new shtick is to claim that she’s only being criticized by “neocons” because she “dares to offer tiny little criticisms” of Israel.

The poor dear! All she does is say “maybe Israel isn’t 100% perfect,” and NEOCONS call her “Nazi” and “anti-Semite” and try to not only get her canceled but MURDERED! Because, as Tucker says, “once you start calling people ‘Nazi,’ you have to kill them.”

Yep. Remember that time all those actual Nazis marched in Skokie, and they were all MURDERED? Gunned down, butchered, and those who escaped were tracked like beasts and slaughtered.

Of course, what Megyn “Beavis-nosed bimbo” Kelly wants you to forget is that she’s not being criticized because of anything she said about Israel. She’s being criticized for defending the uncritical platforming of a guy who says kill all AMERICAN Jews.

And Kelly not only wants you to forget that, she knows you will. Because, having dismissed discernment, you no longer see the difference between Nick Fuentes saying “When we come to power American Jews will be killed” and someone else saying “I don’t like Netanyahu.”

As Walsh insists, it’s all, like, the same, man, and all cool!

Indeed, Fuentes himself is now claiming that all he ever tried to do was talk about “more efficient public services.”

And you’ll fall for it. Guaranteed. Because you no longer remember, or care, that he said he wanted to kill all American Jews. You no longer remember, or care, that he said “Hitler was right.” And Fuentes knows that. He’s not so much a fox in a henhouse as a rapist in an Alzheimer’s ward, having his way with those whose minds can no longer comprehend assault.

Blobfish-brained rightists, manipulated by bad actors (Fuentes, Carlson, Cooper), decided to rebel against years of “cancel culture” by declaring that nothing must now be canceled. This stupidity supper comes with a side-dish: a redefinition of “cancelation.” Being given anything but a softball interview is now also “cancelation.” When folks criticize Carlson for kissing Fuentes’ ass for two hours with not a single challenging question, that’s apparently “canceling” Carlson. Yes, the fight against cancel culture is now the fight against asking pointed questions. Everyone’s entitled to not just a platform, but a cushy one at that. Anything less is MUHRDER!

Megyn Kelly advocated platforming “kill all American Jews.” Tucker Carlson advocated platforming “kill all American Jews.”

It’s got nothing to do with Israel.

BTW, after Candace Owens declared that American Jews ritually slaughter random Christians at Passover, I’m the only livin’ mutherfucker who was able to directly ask Carlson, on the record, why he didn’t bring that up while conducting his softball interview with her in August.

That Carlson/Owens love-fest was a two-hour wide-ranging discussion, but at no point did Tuck ask about the “Jewish ritual murder” claim.

I’m the only one who directly asked Tuck “why didn’t you bring it up?”

I’m the only one who directly asked Tuck, “If Candace is correct, that means there’s a 7.5 million-person death cult operating in the U.S. Isn’t that newsworthy? Why didn’t you ask her about it?”

And I’m the only one who got an answer.

Why was I the only one? Well, balls and access. And sadly because of the person involved in the latter, that back-and-forth, which started with Tucker praising my work and ended with him angrily telling me to “fuck off,” will never be seen.

Pity. But that’s life. The only bastard to ask the question forever must sit on the answer.

Too bad; it was a fascinating exchange.

But hey, maybe somebody else will ask Tucker.

Well whaddya know? This is a humor column after all!

Red State of Mind

Getting away from Nazis, but returning to Walsh…

When I was at Takimag, one of my favorite pastimes was ripping “red state conservatives,” the Cletuses and Bufords who’d be like “Gyuck gyuck gyoooook, I lives in a RAYED STAYUT where things is GOOD! None o’ that COMMIEFORNIA CRAP! We does things different out here! We gots LAW AND ORDER and folks BEHAVE and GYUCKITY GYUCK THERE GO THEM DUKE BOYS! Git ‘em! Git ‘em! GYOOOOOOOK!”

It was a big thing in the Biden years, red state conservative columnists squealing about how red states iz better ‘n blue ones hang-dangit. This is why “national divorce” was a hot topic for a minute. Then it turned out that Memphis, Atlanta, Jackson, and Birmingham exist. Who knew?

Earlier this month a dude was arrested for disturbing the peace after publicly harassing Dave Portnoy in Starkville, Mississippi. At roughly the same time, a bunch of leftists yelled offensive things at a TPUSA event in Berkeley, California.

Matt Walsh, falsely believing that nobody at the Berkely event was arrested, tweeted his outrage:

Wait, wait, RAYED STAYTERS; I’m confused. I thought the whole point of RAYED STAYT MANIA was that yes, law and order is taken more seriously in red states than in blue ones. I thought that was the entire point of all those lectures the red staters gave to Californians like me.

But apparently beards are the only thing Walsh can keep trimmed, because he’s mangled the living shit out of the red state talking point. He seems to be saying that because a blue state doesn’t do something, it’s somehow bad that a red state does.

The fuck?

Starkville MS is a majority-white city in Oktibbeha, a Trump-supporting county.

Berkeley is…Berkeley. Yeah, it’s worse. There’s no double standard because it’s not the same people or governments involved.

And of course Walsh’s Nazi followers ate it up!

“Kitler” - 58.2k followers. “Apolitical” - 91.1k followers. Jake Shields - 886.5k followers.

With this post Walsh was appealing to the Fuentes crowd by suggesting that Jews like Portnoy get special treatment. Expect a lot of this in the year to come; grift-hungry “mainstream” rightists who aren’t ready or willing to make the “JQ jump,” but who still want in on the Nazi aktion by tweeting “suggestive” posts like this one.

Of course, protesters were arrested at Berkeley. So in order to justify his Groyper-grabbing tweet, Walsh was forced to A) lie about no arrests at Berkeley and B) subvert the “red states are better than blue ones” talking point by condemning an instance in which a red state had better law and order than a blue one.

Was Walsh ever smart? Or did the dynamics of the tranny debate merely make him appear smart? A bunch of mentally-ill sexual fetishists declared that wearing a dress makes a man a woman, and Walsh stood up and said “no it doesn’t.” And while the tranny lobby was forced to twist itself into knots of illogic to defend an intellectually indefensible position, all Walsh had to do was say “nope.”

Which, let’s be honest, a ten-year-old boy would also say if told “wearing a wig will turn you into a girl.”

“Nuh-uh,” the offended boy would say.

Has Walsh ever done more than that?

Nuh-uh.

Capped n’ Kirked

In 2006 Ann Coulter made headlines with a one-liner about an activist group made up of 9/11 widows: “I’ve never seen people enjoy their husbands’ deaths so much.”

Far be it for me to muster the temerity to try to one-up my good friend, but honestly, when it comes to Charlie Kirk, I’ve never seen people enjoy their friend’s death so much.

You bozos are either trying to get Kirk’s actual murderer off the hook in favor of Jews, Egyptians, the Macrons, and Erika Kirk, or you’re using Kirk’s death to silence opposition. Whenever someone criticizes Kelly, Carlson, or Walsh for empowering, boosting, platforming, and fawning over Nazis, the new rote reply is, “you’re going to get us killed! If you call us ‘Nazis,’ we’ll be murdered just like Charlie.”

And here we have the final “transition” from conservative to tranny. Walsh has appropriated the exact emotional blackmail that trannies used against him: “If you criticize us, we’ll be MUHRDERED! There’s a PLAGUE of tranny killings. Your cruel criticism is what feeds that.”

That’s trannies.

Here’s Walsh and Kelly: “If you criticize us, we’ll be MUHRDERED! There’s a PLAGUE of conservative killings. Your cruel criticism is what feeds that.”

No, you are not being murdered. Trannies are not being murdered either. Yes, Kirk was killed for his views. Yes also, the number of blacks, Jews, and Hispanics slaughtered by Groyper-types dwarfs the Kirk murder by a hundred-to-one. But if blacks, Jews, or Hispanics tried to silence you with “we’re being MURDERED,” you’d balk, just as you rightly balk when trannies use that line on you.

Nobody’s killing you. Saying “stop criticizing me; I’m being murdered!” makes you look just like a tranny, you homos. Besides, I don’t call people like Owens, Kelly, and Carlson “Nazis.” I call them worse than Nazis. Hitler rather famously banned the issue of Der Stürmer in which Streicher made the “Jewish ritual murder” claim that Owens now echoes. Owens’ defamatory lie was deemed by actual Nazis (and Hitler himself) too extreme even for them. So if you defend it or boost it you are, indeed, worse than a Nazi.

And I will continue to call you that, even if others are cowed by your trannyesque wailing of “stop murdering me!”

You whiny creeps.

The Not-zi Party

The 2025 American Renaissance conference wrapped last week, and, like kids coming back from summer camp, attendees flew home with stories of sack races and pillow fights and games of “pin the tail on Jean Raspail.”

Do you like Jared Taylor? Peter Brimelow? Steve Sailer? These men who’ve spent their lives fighting against the Third Worldization of America? These urbane gents who make their case via facts, stats, and common-sense without employing Nazi propaganda or screaming “Holohoax!” or “niggerkikeniggerkike?”

You like these guys? Yes?

Well congratulations Gomer; you’re killing them.

Because of you bumbling dumbshits and your childish love of the “JQ” and blood libel and sieg heiling and Holocaust denial, you’re strangling to death the few remaining intellectual nativist orgs. The talk of the conference was that donations to nativist or race-realist groups that haven’t gone full Nazi have plummeted. Bottomed out, vanished. The donors have fled to that exciting new “kill the Jews” movement you so love to platform. The AmRen scene has been cleansed of donors. It’s doomsday, and you’ve helped bring it about.

You fucking idiots.

“Ooooh, I love that Nick Fuentes! I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says - I’d rather deport the Jews than kill them - but his balls-out YOUTHFUL NAZI ENERGY is what will save us all!”

I’ve known Jared Taylor 35 years. He’s a man who’s worked tirelessly to make his case in a manner that encourages the raising of the white intellect, not its dumbing-down. But here come you guys, with your toddler-brained love of dumbing-down, and you’re dealing Taylor a defeat the SPLC couldn’t accomplish in 40 years.

Congrats…you must be so proud!

Now quick - run to X and boost more Nazis, you impish delights.

Last week Elon Musk celebrated his role in mainstreaming American Nazism, tweeting “The Overton Window opens wider each day.”

Yep, as another window closes, forever blocking out the kind of fact-based sharp-minded persuasive writing that gave us Ann Coulter who gave us Adios America which gave us Trump winning the minds of swing state voters. But now, thanks to you, we’ll get “kill the Jews” which’ll give us nothing but lost elections and zero inroad into the minds of any but the sickest.

Again, congratulations are in order.

Last Word

My decision to surrender on the Nazi thing was reached on November 12, after Carlson attacked Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the WWII-era anti-Nazi German pastor. Hitler threw Bonhoeffer into a cell, from which the imprisoned pastor secretly, and at great personal risk, communicated with the German anti-Nazi resistance.

For this Hitler had him executed.

Tucker claims that by opposing Hitler, Bonhoeffer turned his back on “reason and Christianity.”

Here’s an email I sent to a Christian friend and conservative media personality (who has refused to speak out about Carlson) on the 13th:

Yesterday Tucker directed his ire toward Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the heroic German pastor - one of the true martyrs of 20th Century Christianity. Bonhoeffer, as you likely know, was imprisoned by the Nazis for opposing them, and even behind bars he passed information to the resistance. He was executed in April 1945.

Here’s Tucker:

“We should force ourselves to treat other people like human beings with sincere disagreements or insincere disagreements, but still agreements that we can debate. Because once you start calling people Nazis, we really have no choice but to start shooting them. To be Dietrich Bonhoeffer and sort of reach the end of reason, or even Christianity. Bonhoeffer decided Christianity is not even, he’s a Lutheran pastor, Christianity’s not enough. We have to kill the guy. Not judging Bonhoeffer, who was a great man in some ways, but that’s inevitable once we decide that people are Nazis. So, you kind of have to wonder why they’re doing this.”

How can you stand this, as a Christian? Bonhoeffer was not a crazed assassin; he supported the resistance IN A WAR. He didn’t grab a rifle and try to shoot Hitler; he supported overthrowing the man. To attack Bonhoeffer’s dedication to Christianity...why isn’t Tucker attacking every chaplain who served in the U.S. Army? This is INSANE. “Christianity’s not enough. We have to kill the guy.” As if Hitler’s crimes were mere words. He was a military dictator in a war in which “we have to kill the guy” was what all sides were saying because it was a fucking war. And again, Bonhoeffer didn’t kill anyone; he just passed intelligence to the anti-Hitler German resistance, and it cost him his life. If he’s not a Christian because of that, then not a single U.S. soldier from the WWII European theater deserves a cross on their grave.

Tucker states that to resist Hitler is “to reach the end of reason, or even Christianity.”

“Bonhoeffer decided Christianity’s not even, he’s a Lutheran pastor, Christianity’s not enough.” By opposing Hitler he surrendered the right to be called Christian, Tucker says.

I’m not religious as you are, but I’d never doubt the depth of your faith. If there is something called satanic, this is it. This is the Devil leading Christians from righteousness using faux-righteous words. This is evil. You have to know that. With all your knowledge, you know that this is evil.

I just don’t know how you can stay silent about it. I say that as your close friend, which I will always be.

“Once you start calling Hitler a Nazi, you risk him getting murdered, as Bonhoeffer tried to do. Bonhoeffer should’ve used reason…from the cell Hitler put him in.”

We’re now at the point where you can’t even call Hitler a Nazi.

We’re now at the point where Hitler facing internal opposition during WWII is being used as an example of unreason, where opposing Hitler represents “the end of reason and Christianity.”

We must watch our words in 2025 because screaming “Nazi” at Hitler nearly got him killed.

I can’t stop a tsunami of tardation this massive.

You’re on your own.

I’ll be back, though. The New Avengers Angels of Death episode isn’t going to deconstruct itself.

Got an idea for my next column that doesn’t involve the Tucker Tardation Tsunami? Lemme know in the comments! And visit Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo if you’re in the mood.