75 Comments
User's avatar
Bill Fenner's avatar

OMG, the Lindsay Wagner Bionic Woman stuff is priceless. I had no idea this happened, and it speaks to the fact that yes these Hollywood leftwing nutjobs have been around for a long time, and, let's face it, will always be around.

And yes, the Moon-landing-was-fake crowd drives me crazy too ... it's just so asinine. This past week I was telling my Gen Z colleague at my office about Normal Mailer's book "Of a Fire on the Moon," a brilliant non-fiction work about the space race. He hadn't heard of Mailer, but he does know the moon landing was real (thank god), and I was relaying certain passages to him about how Mailer muses on the impact of manned flight in the 20th century and the psychological effect landing on the Moon had on humanity. For example, on the night the Saturn 5 rocket lifted off on its journey, at a rich socialite's house party in Houston, a depressed black nationalist type academic complained to Mailer, "This is the victory of the WASP." Tucker may have read this book, but certainly not Benjamin. If only they knew what a tremendous achievement the entire NASA and Apollo program was seen to be at that time, and still should be considered today, for the white man. Alas, they're mostly unread and simple minded. Shame.

Get well soon, Dave!

David Cole's avatar

Thank you, Bill!

noochness's avatar

In 1969 Ayn Rand did a fun essay, "Apollo and Dionysus", comparing the moon landing with Woodstock:

https://courses.aynrand.org/works/apollo-and-dionysus/

https://dc.suffolk.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1000&context=fhf-av

Sarcastic Cynical Texan's avatar

Fake moon landing, 9-11 fake planes, flat Earthers, deniers, of all types, sometimes I want to ask them: Was anything real, did nothing ever happen as it appeared, throughout the history of mankind? Makes me Angry as hell.

Harshkumar's avatar

I'll tell you what is real - I hear the original Japanese Samurai were actually black!

Texas Khaan's avatar

Speaking of Angry, Tuul causes me to be something which rhymes!

https://youtu.be/-fUqs6kjYPY

noochness's avatar

Is she the sister of Jethro Tuul?

Texas Khaan's avatar

In spirit, I suppose so.

BLT's avatar

Happy Birthday Dave! And get well soon.

The “moon hoax” metal illness is repulsive. If I had followers or cared too, I’d immediately do whatever it takes to attack this stupid lunacy.

I am too busy for now defending the death penalty against the “post-Vatican II new Catholic religion.

God bless Gov. DeSantis! Record executions of murderers now in Florida.

Sent you a birthday contribution. Looking forward to the book and no hurry. Hope it sells a million copies!

Brad Thomas

David Cole's avatar

Thank you, Brad! I really appreciate that.

Mike Carroll's avatar

A reminder: If the earth was flat my mom's cats would've knocked everything off it!

Terry C's avatar

I don't doubt that in the slightest! LOL!

Texas Khaan's avatar

As one who has been the independent administrator of his late mother's intestate estate and executor of his late father's last will and testament. I'll just say the following: I would possibly be interested in Dave's request, IF and only IF I were to collect six figures as my fee after the deed is done. AND a personalized hardcover in advance.

Sarcastic Cynical Texan's avatar

Khaan, he would gladly carry out Dave's last will, and with a cold efficiency reminiscent of one of "our" all time favorite guys, Anton Chigurh. If he were offered money, 14 grand, like Carson Wells did, "you can have the money . . . Khaan" a similar outcome would result.

https://youtu.be/nJxgv1IW02o?t=148

Harshkumar's avatar

I loved that movie, but my wife was so scared by Chigurh's character that she couldn't watch him in any other movie.

David Cole's avatar

Good for her; he's a dick.

tbear's avatar

By his career arc no one else could either.

Texas Khaan's avatar

Them 'possums that were eatin' the damn horse feed ' round here every night got dispatched, I carried 'em off, a ways away, but they come back. So I grabbed their tail and whacked they heads with a tire iron. Buzzards got to eat same as worms.

https://youtu.be/cd_EEFI0PqQ

Sarcastic Cynical Texan's avatar

Y'all are aware that opossums spread a nasty affliction, Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis (EPM) I must protect my herd, we have been together for 14 years so far. https://ceh.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/health-topics/equine-protozoal-myeloencephalitis-epm

Mike Carroll's avatar

I heard from a source that Jim got to the Pearly Gates and St Peter told him "Says here you were to be sentenced to eternal damnation, but I see you worked for Taki's idiot daughter for almost a decade so time served!".

David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!!!

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

Sorry to hear about Goad. Redneck Manefesto occupies a place of honor beside my toilet.

Ricardo's avatar

Get well soon, Dave.

Yes, Jew-hating, and X followers trump European civilization achievements in their sick minds.

David Cole's avatar

Thank you, my friend!

noochness's avatar

William Holden died in the Nance-Saget tradition, though apparently not in a hotel room. Here's how he died as recounted in Ms. Google's breathtaking style:

Slipped on a throw rug in his apartment while heavily intoxicated.

Struck his head on a bedside table, causing a deep cut and massive bleeding.

Lived for up to 30 minutes after the injury but did not call for help before passing away.

Body was discovered a few days later on November 16, 1981.

(END OF MS. GOOGLE'S STYLE-HEAVY SYNOPSIS)

Eddie Haskell came up as a subject at work today -- here's a very funny compilation of him complimenting Mrs. Cleaver:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mndyyvDfhMU

David Cole's avatar

All us alkies keep the lesson of Holden's demise. He 100% would have lived if he'd been sober enough to call for an ambulance. The lesson? When drunk, sit the fuck down. Don't go traipsing around your home. One throw rug can spell your doom.

Terry C's avatar

I’ve had some bad spills while drunk—all of them after I turned fifty. Fear—and nothing else—keeps my decrepit old ass sober these days! Before then, I was apparently more or less like a rubber ball.

Once, when I was sixteen, I got loaded on some moonshine, staggered off the road, and fell sixty feet down a bank. It took what seemed like hours to crawl back to the top, but I had nothing more than a scrape on my arm to show for it. When I woke up the next morning, I vowed never to do that again.

I was drunk again by that afternoon.

noochness's avatar

I remember a saying, "God looks out for drunks and Americans."

Harshkumar's avatar

Judging by the state of the country now, just drunks.

Terry C's avatar

Thanks for sharing the Eddie Haskell link. Over the years, I have met many of his spiritual children. LOL!

noochness's avatar

Here's a good clip of Mrs. Cleaver catching Eddie singing a risqué song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nvclk4p6Wo

Eddie's fawning and insincere compliments made me think that it must be an eye-rolling experience for a woman, especially one in the flush of youth, to be complimented by men on aspects of her beauty, dress, etc. It must be tempting to reply, "Thanks, but what do you have that I can admire in return? A good job? A nice house that you own?" I'm reminded of the Stevie Nicks song "Sara" in which she sings, "When you build your house then call me home":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOVyBhVsOV0

Glenn Damato's avatar

Moon hoaxers do not care about aerospace technology, JFK conspiracy buffs do not care about the evidence, and "911 was an inside job" don't care about facts. The common thread here is giving the federal government the middle finger.

The flat Earthers too, except they add on the pleasure of giving all AUTHORITY the middle finger.

The government lies about everything, and that's the proof Apollo was a hoax, JFK was shot by a CIA sniper team on the Knoll, the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were hit by guided missiles and destroyed with planted explosives, and the Earth is flat. How do I know all that? THE GOVERNMENT LIES.

How do people get this way? I'm not sure, but I'll guess that 80-90 percent of the hardcore conspiracy buffs were once sued and/or garnisheed by the IRS.

Harshkumar's avatar

I always played along with the moon landing hoax stuff because I thought it was so funny that it would be obvious I was being facetious. I never really considered the repudiation of white male achievement, though. Next person who says that to me is going to get accused of anti-white hatred. That will show them!

Patrick's avatar

My pervy grade school friends and I used to compete to see who could come up with the most lurid ways Jamie Sommers would use her bionic bod on Steve Austin. Those were the days. I wouldn't be surprised to find out Dorian filed for some kind of retroactive emancipated minor status just to say he never wanted anything to do with the daffy twit. It's probably good that I've never heard of that Benjamin guy or that I don't listen to TC's podcasts. I get less brain damage from copious drafts of scotch. Get better...I want my damn book!

David Cole's avatar

And you will get it, my friend!

Gina Nelson's avatar

Happy birthday Dave! Keep eating chicken soup from the housekeepers abuelita!

David Cole's avatar

One of the staffers, a Cubana, made me a spicy dish that helped sweat the sick outta me! I figure by next week I should be back to normal.

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

When I was (much) younger, I had some resentment of the Cubans in Florida because they voted so conservatively. That, of course is exactly why I think so much of them today. Not to mention how many of their womenfolk are total hotties!

Texas Khaan's avatar

David, get you a bottle of NAC, at the first sign of an infection start taking it. 3x1000mg a day.

Terry C's avatar

Solid advice! It’s not a cure-all, but NAC helps the liver handle both Tylenol and alcohol stress by restoring glutathione. I actually take it every day myself to keep my liver supported.

Evans McKinney's avatar

Glad you and Goad didn’t go at the same time. It’d be too much. Have the decency to wait until after Halloween, Dave. Love ya.

David Cole's avatar

Thanks, buddy!

Ashleigh delaney's avatar

Ha! I love you Dave! I loved this article! It has all my favourite words in it, whores, cowards, etc. as for the hitmen, okay, there’s one side of me, I wanna be your hit man!! The other part of me, wants you to hire the hit man to come after me, reminding me of this great creepy pasta episode, I wanna see if I can take out YOUR hit man!! I’m at a loss as to which side I’m leaning to more, but I better figure it the fuck out before you die!!! Either way, could be a lot of fun for me! Haha!!! (Kidding of course!!! Or am I??? Maybe I’m just writing ‘kidding’ so i can deny all this later?!!! We’ll never know…. Ahhh… nah, YOU KNOW!!! …. Anyway, all jokes aside, I’m sorry you’re sick Dave! Feel better soon bud!! I wish I was closer, I’d have pampered you with soup!! Bless you and feel better my dear friend! Lots of love!!

David Cole's avatar

I always feel better when I hear from you, my beautiful friend!

Ashleigh delaney's avatar

Awe… 🤍💚🤍💚🤍 you are always far too kind!! Love ya Dave!!

Brendan's avatar

‘the writers had to find ways to use the bionics without violence’

Turns out there really was no entertaining way to do this. The atmosphere in the writers room must have been awful.

Stephan Notter's avatar

Tucker hit the Trifecta of Bullshit. Had the biggest crush on Emma Peel/Diana Rigg. She was also my favorite Bond Girl.

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

The Avengers was my favorite TV show as a kid, mostly because of Diana Rigg!

David Cole's avatar

Rigg was my first true celebrity crush.

noochness's avatar

I was trying to think of Brit TV shows that played in prime time on one of the big three U.S. networks. Me and Ms. Google could only come up with The Saint, The Avengers, The Prisoner, and Danger Man.

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

Danger Man which was aired in America as Secret Agent with the BEST rockabilly sound track 🤎