Milo Cocks His Gun (Correction: "Guns His Cock")
Milo shoots back...and it's a bit of a reach (around).
Experimenting with a new thing: a Friday wrap-up of the week’s wackiest. Let’s see how this flies with my 60 regular readers (wait…more unsubs? Make that 52). If I get at least $100 before next Friday via Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo, I’ll keep it going!
So c’mon you merry 52. Step up!
More unsubs?
So c’mon you merry 47…
HIV FOR VENDETTA
Everyone’s favorite butt-boning black-cock-sucking money-embezzling Trump-sabotaging Bible-perverting pervert Milo Yiannopoulos fired back at ol’ Dave last week with the only weapon he has in his arse(nal) except the AIDS virus: a bald-faced lie.
If you recall, last week I expressed my views regarding the convert conman and his demand that non-Christians leave the U.S. so that the Christians who remain can scale back their freedoms.
Well, Milo was more than free to rebut my critique.
And he was just about to, but the word “rebut” made him so horny he ran to the Alvin Ailey Memorial Bathhouse of Ribs for a rendezvous with DeSyffilous Odom and LaMonk-Epochs Jones. And by the time he got back, he’d completely forgotten all the salient points he was planning to make.
So he decided to lie instead.
Milo has “no clue” who I am!
Even when informed, he still has no idea!
Oh that Milo; AIDS must give you amnesia, because on December 28th, 2020, he had his producer send me a request to appear on his podcast:
Unfortunately, I accepted.
In the face of Milo’s memory loss, I DM’d his former producer Nick Ochs for confirmation (Nick was a J6 defendant, so his old Twitter account was nuked pre-Musk. But he has a new one):
Nick certainly remembers me!
And for the record, I didn’t exactly think it was a “great show.” Milo wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. Hard to believe a flamboyant sociopathic egotistical poof would bogart the entire hour.
Of course, this week Milo didn’t actually forget who I was. He responded to my Substack piece the only way he knows how - by whipping up a lie.
This is the guy who embezzled at least a hundred thousand dollars from MAGA. This is the guy who admitted, who bragged, about spending his donors’ money on gay sex parties with ghetto thugs. This is the guy who proudly advocated “man-boy love.” This is the guy who admitted “setting up Trump” to have dinner with Nazi Nick Fuentes in order to “make Trump’s life miserable.”
But some of you stand by him. Some of you trust him about his “religious conversion” to heterosexual patriot.
Gullible, gullible fucks. Pathetic, gullible fucks.
Unsalvageable as a Baltimore Daquan.
Anyway, enjoy your lying homo.
“I’LL BE A FOOL FOR YOU!”
Over and over,
My friends say I’m a fool.
But o-o-over and over,
I’ll be a fool for you.
Ideological loons left and right love nothing more than making themselves look like fools for “the cause.” That goes for leftist “intellectuals” who can’t define the word “woman,” and MAGAs “patriots” who think Milo’s on-the-level!
Last weekend gave us two separate back-to-back shootings by “wounded warriors:” the Southport fish restaurant shooting (three dead courtesy of Marine vet Nigel Edge), and the Michigan Mormon church shooting (four dead via Marine vet Thomas Sanford).
And for once American’s were relieved of the duty to say “thank you for your service.”
See? Some good comes from even the worst events.
Immediately, left and right alike took to X to declare that the shooters were from “the other side.”
Honestly, don’t you tire of that? Using each new mass shooting as a game to slam the “other side?”
MAGA won regarding the Kirk killing (leftist shooter), but lost on the two Gomer Pyles (of bodies). Southport Gomer was a mentally-disturbed QAnon supporter who thought “LGBTs” and “pedos” were trying to kill him. He also sued American Idol Kellie Pickler for trying to murder him with a poisoned glass of Jim Beam (I’d have thought it would’ve been a poisoned pickle).
Thankfully Southport Gomer was taken alive, so MAGA can run him for governor of North Carolina.
And Mormon-hating Gomer? His Facebook page was full of pro-Trump pics, including him wearing a “Trump: Make Liberals Cry Again” T-shirt. He also had a Trump/Vance sign in his yard.
I guess it’s time to “lower the temperature and soften the rhetoric,” MAGAs!
Of course, MAGAs immediately twisted themselves into pretzels of tardation trying to explain how Mormon-hating Gomer wasn’t one of theirs. Sanford had a stop sign in the driveway of his backyard, so MAGAs tweeted that because the stop sign was in the same driveway as the Trump/Vance sign, what Sanford was really saying was “Stop Trump/Vance!”
How come MAGA movies are never as creative as MAGA excuses?
But my favorite “I’ll be a fool for you” moment came from a friend of mine (which is why I won’t screenshot it) who saw the photo of Sanford’s truck rammed into the wall of the church:
And, because the truck had two giant American flags in the bed, he tweeted:
I don’t think that is the truck used in the church attack in Grand Blanc, Michigan. The news says that the attacker drove through the front door. There is no door here & it isn’t inside. This truck may have been from a patriot who stopped to help. We will find out in time.
Okay, that’s hilarious! And believable. A MAGA “patriot” is driving down the street, sees the gunman enter the church, and wails “YEE-HAW! I gon’ go HEPP!” only to drive through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man. I was laughing out loud about that all week…the idea that my friend, who - honestly - isn’t a dumb guy, was actually willing to believe that a “patriot” drove through the fucking wall to “help,” uncaring of the risk he might pose to the innocent victims inside by, you know, driving through the fucking wall.
I hate to say it, but that’s just MAGA-dumb enough to be MAGA-believable.
Police: “How did you think you were ‘helping’ by crashing through the wall? You ran over two children.”
Patriot: “Gyuk…gyuk-gyuk…GYOOOOOK giddy-ga-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk. Christ is King (gyook)!”
Anyway, my friend’s Kool-Aid MAGAman theory proved wrong. That was the shooter’s truck, those were the shooter’s flags, and yes, the shooter was a Trumper.
You lost this one…but why must you compete in the first place?
Stop it, MAGA. Stop it, everyone. Mass shootings are not a spectator sport. Sometimes the killer is rightist, sometimes leftist, sometimes apolitically insane. It doesn’t reflect on anything or anyone but them. That’s why, in Monday’s column, I made it a point to stress that the “sin” of left and right is pushing derealization, which both sides do equally.
Rightists have “Jewish blood-drinkers and space-lasers, QAnon, everything’s an MKUltra illusion, dwarfs did Sandy Hook, the Holocaust never happened, ‘stollen’ 2020 election, adrenochrome pedos, ‘J6 was a hoax,’ chemtrails, 9/11 trutherism,” etc.
Leftists have “biology is fake, sex doesn’t exist, women don’t exist, a man in a wig is a woman, math is racist, the Africans invented everything, slaves built America, crime stats are a hoax, crime would decrease with no cops or prisons, 9/11 trutherism,” etc.
Derealized low-IQ schizophrenics are the menace. They come in all ideologies, and if you feed ‘em, the blood is on your hands, Buford the Candace-loving MAGA, and your hands, Fabulosa the septum-pierced tranny.
Wash your own filthy paws before asking others to do the same.
FAKERS FOR TRUTH!
Rightists have gotten downright Orwellian in the wake of anti-Mormon Gomer’s killing spree, taking the pro-Trump T-shirt photo from his Facebook and Photoshopping it to erase the Trump image.
The real photo, which is up on Sanford’s Facebook for all to see:
The MAGA Photoshop:
MAGAs then used the Photoshopped version to accuse THEM COMMIE LEFTISTS of “framing” Trump with a fake photo…when it’s the MAGA version that’s the fake.
“Fake is genuine! False is true!”
Yep, Orwell would be proud.
Remember, PATRIOTS, your fellow travelers are no more trustworthy than THOSE COMMIE LEFTISTS. All political extremists, be they Marxists, MAGAs, or Milo, lie easily, because they see themselves as soldiers in wartime, and in war, lies are a weapon!
So never let a little lie bother you…if it’s in the service of the cause.
Unless it’s April 1945 and the lie is the U.S. military claiming Jews were made into soap. In that case, use the lie as an excuse to wail “well now I don’t believe anything! Falsus in unos, falsus in omnibus! If they lie once, never believe them again!”
Gyook!
AMERICA’S TOP TARD
Anencephalic miracle baby Elon Musk Rain Manned up a storm this week by displaying his ignorance of history.
Elon, a man who promotes Holocaust deniers, is ignorant of history?
The hell you say.
One of Musk’s favorite deniers was scouring the ADL’s list of “hate groups,” and he came across the entry for Christian Identity.
Naturally, the denier - being typically low-IQ (deniers are so low-IQ, even the best of ‘em can’t reach Jackson Mississippi School District achievement numbers) - thought the ADL was saying that anyone who claims Christian as their religious identity is a member of a hate group.
Musk, whose brain is more bruised than a ghetto whore’s cunny, agreed.
Again I’ll ask - do you guys ever tire of this? Of being led by retards?
Christian Identity (with a capital “I”) is a neo-Nazi ideology. Its tenets include that only Anglo-Saxons and Nordics can be Christian; all other people are “mud” and “chimps,” and Jews must be killed. The Order was a 1980s Christian Identity group that assassinated a Jewish talk show host because of his views.
Of course, hundreds of sane normies tried explaining to Musk that “Christian Identity” is a racist, heretical, very un-Christian cult, but your favorite I Am Sam wouldn’t listen.
Matt “Pedoboi” Gaetz did, though. He posted that the capital-I Christian Identity cult is actually just fine and dandy!
He then returned to sodomizing a 17-year-old girl with a Popeye PEZ dispenser.
Well blow him down.
In just 19 days MAGA went full-circle, going from claiming, following the murder of Charlie Kirk, that nobody should be killed for their views, to championing a group that killed a guy for his views.
It doesn’t get dumber than that…until next week, when Musk/MAGA will find a way.
And I’ll continue to lose subs because I write about it (or because ten of my readers drove their trucks into a wall to “help”).
Gyook!
DAVE’S LAST WORD (Das Ungerwörten Finalischegebringen von Davegëschaftenheit)
With Tucker and Candace occupying the #1 and #3 spots respectively for news podcasts on Spotify, you can see why Megyn “Beavis-nose” Kelly is aping their act. She’s #9 now, with her eyes on a higher chart position. And she’s learned what the rightist masses want: Nazis!
Keep following those creeps, keep giving them traffic, and that’s all you’ll get.
And when Trump loses the House next year, and when Vance or whoever runs in 2028, and the GOP has officially become the party of Wooden Doorths…
God help us all.
The California legislature recently passed SB771. This bill penalizes social media companies that algorithmically boost user content that promotes harassment or intimidation based on race, religion, ethnicity, gender, or political affiliation. The bill doesn’t punish users, only social media companies, and only if the company “generates more than one hundred million dollars per year in gross revenue.”
In other words, X. This is a bill to stop Musk from boosting hate content on X.
To be sure, the bill is A) impotent, as the “penalty” cannot exceed $1,000,000, which is less than Musk’s daily nad-waxing budget, B) grossly unconstitutional, and C) in clear violation of Section 230.
But you know what? I support it. Someone needs to save you people from yourselves, and from Musk. At the very least, the bill will force your beloved Elon to defend boosting Nazis, to defend retweeting (as he did in February) guys who say “The Holocaust didn’t happen but it should’ve.” It’ll force a discussion of X’s pro-Nazi algo. Sure, Elon will win in court. But I wanna see that dead-eyed doughy menace admit how important it is to him to boost Nazis.
And my guess is, the Dems passed the bill for a similar reason. I think the idea of the bill is to manipulate GOPs into defending Nazi speech in a midterm year. Because you’ve become that predictable. You’ll always double-down, consequences be damned. By passing a bill that penalizes X for boosting Nazi speech, you’ll go all-in on boosting Nazi speech.
Remember what Beavis Megyn tweeted this week:
Dems demanding that you not boost Nazi speech means you’ll reflexively boost Nazi speech. Thinking you’re “sticking it to the libs,” you’ll fall right into their trap.
Well, good. If you won’t purge the Nazis, let the voters purge you.
I’m not trying to give the Dems too much credit here, but one unintended consequence of Steve Sailer’s “noticing” becoming a rightist catchphrase is that MAGAs have started thinking that “noticing” is a rare skill that only they possess.
Ever owned a dog? A cat? They’re really good at noticing patterns (feeding time, owner returns from work time, carrying cage means vet visit, etc.). Don’t pat yourself on the back too much for being a “noticer;” even rats notice. As do Dems. And when you go around proclaiming “whatever you compel me not to say, I’ll say louder,” even those “rats” notice.
CA Dems are clowns, but, to quote any Jew in 1941 lining up to be shot by the Einsatzgruppen, “Oy, I’d take a clown over a Nazi any day.”
In the spirit of this holy week of Yom Kippur (when Lauren Boebert blows the chauffer), I second that sentiment.
Have a great weekend, and a giddy-ga-gyook-gyook to y’all.
So happy to see you bring back TWTP here on Substack as there's just so much insane content these days deserving of your acerbic wit.
Please tell me Based Colombo makes his long awaited return next week???
Is a weekly wrap-up from Dave worth a few shekels? Of course, cheapos. Not being a social media participant, how else will I get valuable information like Matt Gaetz still being out there, presumably tanned, rested, and ready in case Trump gets an unexpected SCOTUS vacancy.