This Week's Week That Perished!
Yes, it's one of the three things a week YOU SIGNED UP FOR!
In this week’s Week, I take the opportunity to bring up something that’s genuinely flummoxed me over the years - why there’s never been a mass-shooting at a movie or TV studio. It makes no sense. Such shootings occur everywhere; there’s not a single type of location in America in which one hasn’t occurred.
Except a movie or TV studio. Locations that employ the most mentally unstable humans on earth, subjecting them to a pressure cooker of abuse.
It’s weird that this one type of location seems immune.
I used to work at Paramount and there were no metal detectors. Besides, those don’t work anyway; shootings have occurred at schools and airports that have detectors.
As I said, flummoxed.
Thoughts?
I also mention the black guy who tried to beat Johnny Carson to death with a sock filled with gravel. It’s crazy the extent to which that story’s been scrubbed from the ‘net, especially the video of the stalker having an imaginary discussion with Joe Piscopo. It’s one of three Hollywood video/audio clips you can’t find anywhere. The second is the recording of Kenny Rogers’ obscene phone calls. Those used to be available a long time ago, and I’d make jokes about how, when Kenny Rogers Roasters opened, they’d be part of the drive-through experience.
Female customer: “I’ll have the rotisserie half-chicken and a Pepsi.”
Rogers: “Fuck me, you cunt. Fuck me…suck me…lick me, bitch. You want mashed potatoes with that?”
The third scrubbed item is the audio of iconic actor George C. Scott when he was in his 80s and sexually harassing his young female secretary. He’d bought her a giant teddy bear and expected sex in exchange, and she told him that her pride as a professional prevented her from mixing work life with sex life (that was her diplomatic way of saying “dude, you’re 82 and I’m 26. I’m grossed out just thinking about seeing you naked”).
So Scott left her an answering machine message, which was played a LOT during the 1996 sexual harassment trial against him. And in the audio he angrily growls, “You can take your BEAR, and you can take your PRIDE, and go to bed with them.”
I’d love to sample that clip, but you just can’t find it anywhere anymore.
Why do Carson, Rogers, and Scott get to scrub unwanted material from the Internet, when they’re DEAD, but I can’t get YouTube to take down the threesome sex video I did with Judi Dench and Dustin Diamond?
I was drunk, okay? I shouldn’t have to be haunted by that footage for the rest of my life.
Anyway, here’s this week’s Week! Your clicks help ol’ Dave keep the lights on (buy me a beer).
In the absence of deranged, mass shooters on TV and film studio's. I guess we will have to be happy with Alec Baldwins work.
The outtake of Carson doing a douche ad has also been scrubbed from the internet, which is a shame; it was right up there with Orson Welles' fish sticks.