The Week That Perished: A Summer Bummer
Even I don't like my puns, but a few of them this week are pretty damn good
Jesus, I am SUFFERING! I hope I never get ass cancer, because I have zero tolerance for uncomfortability. I HATE summer. I hate hot weather, and I hate bugs.
“Hey Dave, why don’t you move to Flurrrda? It’s a RED STAYTE!”
To repeat, I hate hot weather and I hate bugs. If I HAD to move, I’d move somewhere cold year-round.
Margot Kidder was raised in the Arctic, and she turned out just fi…
Ah shit.
Anyway, I had to do some work in my backyard on Friday and even though I was only outside in shorts for seven minutes, I got eaten alive by skeeters. My legs, already crippled by gout, are now red and runny with sores that won’t stop itching.
I’m SO fucking glad I get to drink this month. If I can just drink my way through September, I’ll be fine.
So what can YOU do to help ol’ Dave?
Well, the simplest thing is just click on this week’s Week. It’s a good one: Black woman shuts up, grumpy white man shoots up, Gavin Newsom backs away, Leroyernest blacks away, and “trans” athlete hacks away (at her boobs).
Click, okay? It’ll cost you nothing, and it’ll cheer me up.
And don’t unsub like a dick. Because I swear, I’ll hound you to hell and back.
Also, feel free to buy ol’ sufferin’ Dave a beer!
Here’s The Week!
"...the town’s priest, Father Julius Tvrdy of Our Lady of the Missing Vowels, is making sure that all remaining white Cretins learn to speak Spanish, as opposed to the beans learning English" Liberation Theology strikes again. I've mentioned the Lib Theology influence in my Catholic high school, but I just remembered this one time at a school assembly, they had a box of Popeyes chicken and they gave 2 kids one piece each and 1 kid the rest of the box. It was supposed to illustrate how we were supposed to redistribute the worlds' resources; the school was half black, so it must've been torture for them.
Fine job per usual. Funny the story about the Kiwi who ended up getting killed kept popping up in my YT recommendations and my first thought was "This is TWTP material" and lo and behold it was! Here's one for next week: "An easily preventable tragedy"
https://youtu.be/PbL5iA4tJkk?si=gu1YgqHZBWMnzkAw