Your lady ex-fan got so wound up that she confused her Steven King prison movies; it's the Green Mile that has the "black guy with healing powers cures warden's wife" plot, not Shawshank. It's bad enough to publicly self-immolate like that, but it's really bad to set yourself on fire over something that wasn't even being discussed.
I saw that in the original Substack about casting and noticed the confusion on the movies. In retrospect, she may have been the victim of two serial killers, with the second one deep in her throat - hence the reference to the Warden's wife.
Hang in there, Dave. I purposely limit my interactions with you so you DON'T know how weird I truly am. Not sure what my fandom says about you and I don't care to find out.
Hi Dave. Very much enjoyed the column, you gave me a number of laugh-out-loud moments. I made it to line four of crime blog lady's first message and all kinds of warning bells went off. Crazy is one thing, I can usually deal with crazy. But damn, she went and tossed "bitch" in there too. Is she still a subscriber? Do ya think she'll 'like' my comment? I love your response to her comment, I may have to do it up in needlepoint and frame it. A whole wall full of David Cole quotes would be pretty awesome. Something to consider. Once again I have to compliment your readers. It took a bit of time to get through the comments. Some great stuff in there. I always enjoy them, they seem extra funny tonight. Congrats on the ten years.
"You're no Jim Goad" What, you didn't punch a woman's face in? Your column and "Weird Movies with Mark" are the highlights of the internet for me. Looking forward to the next "Week that Perished" to see what's done with the ooga-booga necklace Ketanji Brown Jackson wore to Trump's inauguration, or the DEI mayor of Philly not being able to spell "eagles"
I follow Justine Bateman on Substack, and I was pleasantly surprised at how intelligent and well informed she seems. I didn’t doubt Ms Bateman’s brain wattage because she’s the actress who played dim bulb Mallory, but because she’s an actress
Maybe now she’ll finally see my messages, and she’ll know how much we were destined to be together. J/k, she’s too old for me now! I’ve moved on to Cynthia Chinasyndrome One-Eyedmanicure Amarachuckufarley Banjokazooie Echinacea Erivo
Oh David... and you know this- You're not a celebrity until you have some crazy stalker fans, sneaking into your house at night and sleeping next to you in your bed, but I digress. 10 years! Very nice!
I will say, on the Israel thing, that I get sooo sick of hearing about Israel. Especially from US politicians. Every now and then, we get something like the Ukraine, whereby they all jump on that bandwagon, and start wearing their little flag lapel pins (and I REALLY hate that shit) and blathering on and on and on, about their newest foreign country to slobber over, but eventually, it all goes back to "Israel, our greatest ally". It's insufferable.
You are right, our government magically "finds" (creates) all the money they want for the things that they really care about, but this bought and paid for AIPAC "we all love Israel-fest" gets so tiring. Their flags in a capitol, their leaders speaking to our congress, their IFCJ ads on every talk radio show.
Even if I wasn't already pretty sick of them, I'd get sick of them. What is there, like 180+ countries on the planet? If we went by news stories, and how often their name appears, you'd think Israel was 150 of them!
People who are scared of what a book has to say, and therefore wish it to lack circulation amongst a free and righteous people, are unfit whores, low born gutter sluts, stupid bitches, and should have mud flung at them.
So I saw "Wicked". I read the book by Gregory Maguire. I read Baum's original book. And I watched the 1939 movie.
1. The character of Elphaba (a name invented by Maguire) in "Wicked" is bland as hell. So I don't count it against any of the "Wicked" actresses that the character is also bland. Maguire makes her an adolescent activist atheist in a world of tepidly corrupt bourgeoisie, and the movie/show hardly shifts her toward anything more interesting. I don't think there is any attempt to generate a character who could go on to perform the actions Margaret Hamilton does in the movie. (Comic book writers like Mark Waid or Mark Millar, used to taking characters from "heels" to "faces" to use the wrestling terms, could have handled her story much better, and certainly more efficiently than Maguire's self-indulgent, sloppy novel.)
There is a moment at the end of the film, where Elphaba is singing her signature song "Defying Gravity" where I thought "This would be a wonderful place for a big, go-to-hell Margaret Hamilton cackle." But of course no such thing happens.
(One point in the movie's favor: they aped the title card style of the 1939 film, which I thought was nice.)
2. Margaret Hamilton, on my rewatch, turns out to be fucking spectacular. She's given a wonderful villain to play and she chews that scenery up and spits it in your corn flakes. Despite being cooked alive by the fire effects, she's electrifying in every scene. I submit that most people, hearing the concept for "Wicked" the musical are thinking of Hamilton as the star, and that would be a great show. But that isn't what Maguire wrote nor what the show/movie delivers, which is a shame.
Check out Robert Altman's film Brewster McCloud (1970), which begins with Margaret Hamilton acting witchy before her character is killed off. The film is both great and awful at the same time:
Thanks, Dave. Pretty sure I stumbled upon you when you started at Taki. Pure coincidence that I've been reading your column - and your R Party Animal book, which I MAY have sent you an overly positive email about, sorry - the entire time. Keep getting things right; the world comes around, eventually.
Hey that has just prompted me to tell you about my unique and interesting life. I was born at an early age . On a dark and stormy night . I was an only twin ( drones on for 94 000 words).
. Why do you not compile a column of your weirdest message?
Who’d have thought that it’s been 10 years that you’ve been carrying much of the load at Takimag in the absence of Derb and Goad. At age 71, reminders of how time flies can be a bit disconcerting. Nonetheless, that’s a milestone that warrants a beer a year to celebrate, and here’s to many more coupled with sustained acceptable AST/ALT numbers!
I think it was Joe Sobran who said about the Israeli-Palestine conflict that when he sees a contest between a mammal and a reptile he always pulls for the mammal.
I . . . excuse "us", I mean "we", really enjoy your writing, maybe we will DM you, I will interpret your response as confirmation of my unconvincing acting.
We, dual subscriber got it right the first time, forgot to remind Dave that he should write a us a Substack entitled "The Decade That Perished", would be a LONG one !!!
Your lady ex-fan got so wound up that she confused her Steven King prison movies; it's the Green Mile that has the "black guy with healing powers cures warden's wife" plot, not Shawshank. It's bad enough to publicly self-immolate like that, but it's really bad to set yourself on fire over something that wasn't even being discussed.
Indeed. As this was written for Takimag, where I have a word limit, I didn't have space to point out the Green Mile blunder, but you're 100% correct.
I saw that in the original Substack about casting and noticed the confusion on the movies. In retrospect, she may have been the victim of two serial killers, with the second one deep in her throat - hence the reference to the Warden's wife.
LOL!!!!
Hang in there, Dave. I purposely limit my interactions with you so you DON'T know how weird I truly am. Not sure what my fandom says about you and I don't care to find out.
LOL!!!!
Hi Dave. Very much enjoyed the column, you gave me a number of laugh-out-loud moments. I made it to line four of crime blog lady's first message and all kinds of warning bells went off. Crazy is one thing, I can usually deal with crazy. But damn, she went and tossed "bitch" in there too. Is she still a subscriber? Do ya think she'll 'like' my comment? I love your response to her comment, I may have to do it up in needlepoint and frame it. A whole wall full of David Cole quotes would be pretty awesome. Something to consider. Once again I have to compliment your readers. It took a bit of time to get through the comments. Some great stuff in there. I always enjoy them, they seem extra funny tonight. Congrats on the ten years.
Thank you! My regular readers (like you) bring me much joy, many laughs, and I'm always grateful for the interaction.
And I LOVE the needlepoint idea!
I may have to give it a go. Letters are fairly easy. Some words deserve to be framed and hung on the wall. It sure as hell beats Live, Love, Laugh.
LOL!!!!
"You're no Jim Goad" What, you didn't punch a woman's face in? Your column and "Weird Movies with Mark" are the highlights of the internet for me. Looking forward to the next "Week that Perished" to see what's done with the ooga-booga necklace Ketanji Brown Jackson wore to Trump's inauguration, or the DEI mayor of Philly not being able to spell "eagles"
Thank you, Sonny. You're one of the folks I really do love to hear from.
Glad you were ok with the fires (can Bass spell 'eagles'?)
That's a big ask for the likes of Bass, Sonny.
I follow Justine Bateman on Substack, and I was pleasantly surprised at how intelligent and well informed she seems. I didn’t doubt Ms Bateman’s brain wattage because she’s the actress who played dim bulb Mallory, but because she’s an actress
Maybe now she’ll finally see my messages, and she’ll know how much we were destined to be together. J/k, she’s too old for me now! I’ve moved on to Cynthia Chinasyndrome One-Eyedmanicure Amarachuckufarley Banjokazooie Echinacea Erivo
LOL!!!! That genuinely made me laugh.
Makes Rumpelstiltskin seem like an almost common name. LOL!
LOL!!!!
made me crack up!! and your actress comment is pure Hitchcock!
Oh David... and you know this- You're not a celebrity until you have some crazy stalker fans, sneaking into your house at night and sleeping next to you in your bed, but I digress. 10 years! Very nice!
I will say, on the Israel thing, that I get sooo sick of hearing about Israel. Especially from US politicians. Every now and then, we get something like the Ukraine, whereby they all jump on that bandwagon, and start wearing their little flag lapel pins (and I REALLY hate that shit) and blathering on and on and on, about their newest foreign country to slobber over, but eventually, it all goes back to "Israel, our greatest ally". It's insufferable.
You are right, our government magically "finds" (creates) all the money they want for the things that they really care about, but this bought and paid for AIPAC "we all love Israel-fest" gets so tiring. Their flags in a capitol, their leaders speaking to our congress, their IFCJ ads on every talk radio show.
Even if I wasn't already pretty sick of them, I'd get sick of them. What is there, like 180+ countries on the planet? If we went by news stories, and how often their name appears, you'd think Israel was 150 of them!
Oh well, Ann's column to day was great as well.
Cheers Amigo, hope you have a great 2025!
"Death to ratibor, and all that support him!"
Hey, one more thing- Are we ever gonna get any more videos? I miss those, they were my favorite! Oh, and any more auctions?
I'm in a better mood these days than in December, so yes - I hope to do a video soon! Thank you for enjoying them, it genuinely encourages me.
People who are scared of what a book has to say, and therefore wish it to lack circulation amongst a free and righteous people, are unfit whores, low born gutter sluts, stupid bitches, and should have mud flung at them.
Mud at least. Maybe worse...
One way ticket to Appalachia... :)
Nah, they should be forced to read 'Becoming', while listening to Kamala's speech on sound economics.
Irrespective of adipose tissue?
So I saw "Wicked". I read the book by Gregory Maguire. I read Baum's original book. And I watched the 1939 movie.
1. The character of Elphaba (a name invented by Maguire) in "Wicked" is bland as hell. So I don't count it against any of the "Wicked" actresses that the character is also bland. Maguire makes her an adolescent activist atheist in a world of tepidly corrupt bourgeoisie, and the movie/show hardly shifts her toward anything more interesting. I don't think there is any attempt to generate a character who could go on to perform the actions Margaret Hamilton does in the movie. (Comic book writers like Mark Waid or Mark Millar, used to taking characters from "heels" to "faces" to use the wrestling terms, could have handled her story much better, and certainly more efficiently than Maguire's self-indulgent, sloppy novel.)
There is a moment at the end of the film, where Elphaba is singing her signature song "Defying Gravity" where I thought "This would be a wonderful place for a big, go-to-hell Margaret Hamilton cackle." But of course no such thing happens.
(One point in the movie's favor: they aped the title card style of the 1939 film, which I thought was nice.)
2. Margaret Hamilton, on my rewatch, turns out to be fucking spectacular. She's given a wonderful villain to play and she chews that scenery up and spits it in your corn flakes. Despite being cooked alive by the fire effects, she's electrifying in every scene. I submit that most people, hearing the concept for "Wicked" the musical are thinking of Hamilton as the star, and that would be a great show. But that isn't what Maguire wrote nor what the show/movie delivers, which is a shame.
Check out Robert Altman's film Brewster McCloud (1970), which begins with Margaret Hamilton acting witchy before her character is killed off. The film is both great and awful at the same time:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065492/
Thanks, Dave. Pretty sure I stumbled upon you when you started at Taki. Pure coincidence that I've been reading your column - and your R Party Animal book, which I MAY have sent you an overly positive email about, sorry - the entire time. Keep getting things right; the world comes around, eventually.
I actually DO enjoy reader correspondences. Just not the "red flag" ones. Which I'm sure yours was not.
Thank you for the encouraging words!
Haha, I don't remember what I wrote beyond something about enjoying the book. You're an excellent writer. Keep doing it. And thanks again.
Hey that has just prompted me to tell you about my unique and interesting life. I was born at an early age . On a dark and stormy night . I was an only twin ( drones on for 94 000 words).
. Why do you not compile a column of your weirdest message?
Good question! I'm saving some for -- should it ever happen -- my next book. There's some stuff that's exceptionally disturbing.
Any book from you would be a blessing to mankind.
I really appreciate that!
Damn right!
And I'd love to publish one!
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
and so am I."
You know how to find 'em Dave.
LOL!!!!
Who’d have thought that it’s been 10 years that you’ve been carrying much of the load at Takimag in the absence of Derb and Goad. At age 71, reminders of how time flies can be a bit disconcerting. Nonetheless, that’s a milestone that warrants a beer a year to celebrate, and here’s to many more coupled with sustained acceptable AST/ALT numbers!
I'm always exceptionally grateful for your readership, support, and kindness, Brian. Thank you!
I think it was Joe Sobran who said about the Israeli-Palestine conflict that when he sees a contest between a mammal and a reptile he always pulls for the mammal.
Also did you see this item from the NYP:
https://nypost.com/2025/01/22/world-news/australia-cruise-staff-dress-as-ku-klux-klan-members-for-christmas-themed-event/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nypost&utm_source=twitter
Holy crap, I had NOT seen that! That's going straight into The Week!
"On a very special episode of The Love Boat..."
LOL!!!!
"Hilarity ensues when Gopher orders a screwdriver from Issac, and winds up accidentally booking Skrewdriver!"
Now THAT'S a good gag!!!
What's the Chris Rock joke? "Every time a black woman was on the Love Boat, you knew the title of the episode would be 'LOVE FOR ISSAC'!"
My snow cones were always RandiRainbow Colored.
If only they'd chosen chocolate, people wouldn't know WHAT to think.
Shit...LOL!!!
Snow cones indeed. LOL!
More like Snow KKKones amirite???
Damn, I missed my chance to be clever on that one. LOL!
'Upside down snowcones' - ingenious!
Dave, as a charter member of the He-Man Nick Fuentes Hater Club, I enjoyed a gut wrenching fit of laughter with the bit where he is mentioned.
Thank you!
I . . . excuse "us", I mean "we", really enjoy your writing, maybe we will DM you, I will interpret your response as confirmation of my unconvincing acting.
LOL!!!!
We, dual subscriber got it right the first time, forgot to remind Dave that he should write a us a Substack entitled "The Decade That Perished", would be a LONG one !!!
An epic video called The Decade That Perished, that would be awesome !!!
Hi Dave! Congratulations on ten years! I don't want to read too much into the DM thing, but I had the feeling there was some baiting going on.
I genuinely enjoy our correspondences! You're one of the readers I truly appreciate.
Thanks, Dave.