Goodbye L.A.

After 57 years, I doubt I'll ever set foot on Angeleno soil - or soiled streets - again.

This week’s post was going to be a lengthy, garment-rending, chest-thumping, dick-twisting, and depressing book update and meditation on death.

But it can wait a week, because I’m sure y’all want something about the L.A. mayoral primary.

In light of the “Mumbai Miracle” - poo-flinging Tamil communist Nithya Raman magically overtaking Spencer Pratt due to a flood of “late ballots” in L.A.’s weeklong vote-count marathon - I want to have a final word about the city of my birth.

And that word is “goodbye.”

To be clear, Raman’s bud-bud-budding ascension in the primary was not part of some grand conspiracy courtesy of “mastermind” Bass. Bass wanted Pratt as her opponent. Bass would’ve slaughtered Pratt in the general, and with him as her opponent, she’d have been able to spend the summer running against Trump. Now she’s forced to run against someone to her left. A fucking nightmare! She has to pummel Raman’s extremism without coming off as “right wing.” Pratt’s defeat has taken Republicans out of the picture; it’s now a Dem-on-Dem fight, and Bass will have to defend her record while also being “rightist” enough to condemn Raman’s leftism while staying leftist enough to not be accused of being rightist. For Bass, the race went from a cakewalk to a tightrope walk.

Bass did NOT want this. Polls show Raman might win in the general. This is Bass’ worst-case scenario. She’s dumb but not that dumb; she knows this’ll be an uphill climb.

Worse still for Bass, had Pratt been her opponent, Bass would’ve cleaned up in fundraising. But now that she’s running against a fellow Dem, that cuts her fundraising ability at least in half. Maybe more. L.A.’s hipster leftists will make Raman their cause célèbre; Bass will likely get maybe 30% of the money she’d have gotten running against MAGA Pratt and uniting all leftists on her side.

Now, does something feel “off” about Raman’s sudden come-from-behind victory over Pratt? After all, Raman’s election-night tears as she assumed she was a goner didn’t suggest someone who knew they had a secret plan in place that would turn the tide days later. I doubt her weepy concession speech was a put-on; if you’ve ever watched an Indian movie, you know - these curried mutherfuckers can’t act.

But sure, something does feel off about her Masala Miracle.

L.A. is known for the political disinterest of its Mexicans. They don’t vote, and they don’t vote in droves. Generally, Mexicans live by their trifecta: Trabajo, Cerveza, Siesta.

Votación is not part of that.

L.A.’s blacks went 100% for Bass, and the white hipsters of Raman’s district don’t have the numbers to surge Raman (indeed, Raman actually LOST her own district). If there’s foulness afoot, it’s not the killer Venezuelan robot voting machines of Trump’s fever dreams. It’s something a bit more mundane (and therefore, a lot scarier).

In 2022, there was a recall effort to remove George Soros’ soft-on-crime, hard-on-victims District Attorney Gascon. To put the recall on the ballot, the organizers had to bring in 566,857 signatures. They delivered 715,833. But the L.A. registrar/recorded only verified 520,000. Why? Because the leftist registrar did a hard count, meaning every single signature was examined under a microscope. An “i” without a dot? A “t” without a cross? DISALLOWED! This is the power of the registrar/recorder - examine signatures or ballots with a hard gaze or a soft focus.

The recall organizers filed suit, with ample evidence that the registrar/recorder had “improperly invalidated at least 39% of the 195,783 rejected signatures, thereby preventing the recall from appearing on the ballot.”

But by the time the lawsuit would’ve been settled, the 2024 election would’ve already arrived. So recall organizers scrapped the idea of a recall and focused on ending Gascon in the general. And of course that’s what happened; Gascon was slaughtered in 2024, 60% to 40% in favor of tough-on-crime DA Hochman. That’s countywide. And in L.A. city, Hochman won 10 of the city’s 15 council districts. He won, and Gascon lost, not just in the county but the city.

The matter of the 195,783 disallowed signatures should’ve been investigated, but of course legal action became moot once Gascon was booted electorally. Still, the lawsuit might’ve exposed how a count can be skewed not by MAGA’s killer robot boogeymen, but by a hard count vs. a soft one.

My hunch regarding the Raman “surge” is that Raman ballots were “soft-eyed.” Again, a lawsuit over the dismissed Gascon recall signatures would’ve been helpful. If the registrar/recorder was shown to have skewed the results not by stealing ballots, or stuffing ballots, or contracting with killer robots, but by employing unreasonably hard focus, that would’ve been significant, if only as a lesson in how tides can be turned by hard focus vs. soft gaze.

We’ll never know.

Too bad.

Raman obviously had an effective vote-accumulating machine, but considering that she lost her own district, which is very upscale in parts and fairly upscale in others, I wonder how many of those “miracle ballots” came from Shit Row, and therefore how many of them would’ve withstood the hard glare the registrar/recorder reserved for Gascon recall signatures.

But there’ll be no investigation. Bass might not be happy facing off against Raman, but she’s not gonna cry foul. That would lose her even MORE leftist support.

If elected, Raman will destroy L.A. Even with all the genuine faults the city has, we’ve never had a wacky mayor. Not in my 57 years. Wacky mayors are for New York, Chicago, or Philly.

“I’m Slappy Pappy O’Houlihan o’ Chicago, and a vote fer me is a vote fer FREE WHISKEY, ya yobs. Drink up, me boyos!”

“I’m Peniorellio LaGabagoolia a’ New York! Vote fer me and I’ll come to yer home and play poker wit’ ya while servin’ pecciomeccio pasta fazooooli!”

“I’m Frank Rizzo of Philly. Vote for me and I’ll put niggers and faggots in a meat grinder.”

(That last one isn’t satirical)

L.A. mayors are lowkey, and even our worst are not as bad as their worst (Garcetti, the moron who claimed you could catch Covid by jogging alone on a beach, nevertheless refused to defund the police during Floydmania).

Raman will be something new: a flamboyant Third World lunatic who 100% wants to defund the police.

I reluctantly have to support Bass in the general.

Or I would, were it still my problem.

But it ain’t.

I’m still in L.A., but I’m no longer in L.A.

Remember: L.A. is both a city and a county. I’ve tried to explain this to you before, but all I heard back was “DUH-DERRRRRRP.” So I’ll try again.

Los Angeles is the name of a city. A city of 3.8 million people (second most populous city in the U.S.). But Los Angeles is also the name of the county in which the city of Los Angeles sits. A county of 10 million, the most populous county in the U.S.

There are 88 cities within the county of L.A.

88? BASED!

But that’s how big the county is; 88 fucking cities.

Understand?

Now, the mayor’s race - Bass v. Pratt v. Raman, was a CITY race. It was a race in the city of Los Angeles, which is one of the 88 cities in the county.

L.A. city is bluer than L.A. county. L.A. county has many reddish areas, like Beverly Hills and the South Bay cities. L.A. city does have its red-leaning areas, from the Orthodox oygenflaygins of Pico-Robertson to the Persians of Westwood. There are industrious, freedom-loving Persians in Beverly Hills, which IS a city, and there are even more Persians in Westwood (nicknamed “Tehrangeles”), but Westwood is a neighborhood in L.A. city NOT its own city, while Beverly Hills IS a city in L.A. county.

I’ve written many times about the “invisible borders” that separate L.A. city from Beverly Hills, or Beverly Hills city from West Hollywood, which is a city, or West Hollywood from Hollywood, which is NOT a city but a neighborhood in L.A. city.

Dizzying, ain’t it? I feel like a Jap trying to explain Shintoism to a Protestant.

The funny thing is, people expect these borders to be marked. Especially the Beverly Hills city/L.A. city border. Like, there’s supposed to be a grand arch or something.

Dude, here’s the L.A. city/BH city border:

That’s the border - Whitworth Dr. There’s nothing to mark it. If you’re north of Whitworth, you’re in BH city in L.A. county. South? L.A. city in L.A. county. The only difference is the paving is darker on the BH side.

As you can also see, the Beverly Hills Marriott (marked by the X), my home of last year, is on the south side of Whitworth.

So it’s NOT in Beverly Hills. Hence why the rates are reasonable. North of Whitworth? THOSE hotels are for the DiCaprios and Pitts and Affleckses, the people who make $20 mil per movie to stand in front of a green screen wearing superhero pajamas yelling “DAMN YOU THERACULON, I WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH THE GALUBRIOUS CUBES!” But the Beverly Hills-though-not-actually-Beverly Hills Marriott? A normal bloke like me can stay there, because it’s south of Whitworth.

And boy oh boy, was I reminded every day that I was in L.A. not BH. From my room on the top floor, I’d look down and see street shitters aplenty, squawking “GAAACK GAAACK MARAAACK” as they shambled up and down the block. The part of BH that’s close to the L.A. border is, well, too close to the L.A. border. If Raman becomes mayor of L.A. city, the parts of BH city that are near those invisible borders will be infected by her love of homeless and hatred of policing.

The south part of BH is like Grace Kelly cheek-to-cheek with a flea-ridden dog; she didn’t start out with fleas, but she’ll get ‘em by proximity.

Every day when I’d leave the hotel to walk to the grocery store, it was a game of “avoid stepping on the human loaves left the night before by L.A.’s detritus.” We had top-notch security guards at the hotel, and we needed ‘em, because every week some or another street shitter would try to charge into the lobby at 2am to raid the “general store” reserved for guests.

To her credit, Bass called police defunding “the stupidest idea ever,” which is not to defend her but to point out how radical Raman is for L.A. city. Raman is also on record stating that the homeless have a “human right” to fling their feces at outdoor diners. I’m not making that up; I wrote about it years ago at Takimag.

Raman’s biggest Hollywood supporters include king of the hipsters Adam Conover from the Los Feliz/Silver Lake district Raman serves. He’s her main booster, her main fundraiser. Along with Tim Heidecker, the god-king of bad hipster comedy, and Mindy Kaling, a wealthy jub-jub like Raman herself.

Adam Conover…the most punchable face in human history.

Raman tells her followers, “The white Bourgeoisie deserves to be hit in the face with human feces as they have dinner,” and white bourgies like Conover and Heidecker applaud.

I cannot say, “someone should hit Adam Conover and Tim Heidecker in the face with human feces as they are eating.” I cannot say that because it would be construed as a threat, a solicitation of violence. Threats and solicitations of violence are illegal, and ol’ Dave never breaks the law. But considering that Conover and Heidecker’s white hipster fans cheer assassin Luigi Mangione, and considering that Conover and Heidecker are on record stating that getting smacked in the face with human feces while dining is no big deal because the homeless have a “right” to do it, I might, if not declare, at least suggest, that the person who finds a way to smack Conover or Heidecker in the face with human feces while they’re eating might just be our greatest champion, the hero we need, the hero we deserve, and a hero I’m sure many good folks would support with a GiveSendGo to cover legal costs.

When I relocated from Beverly Hills on January 1st this year, I knew one thing - I gotta be far from L.A. city. I’m still in L.A. county, but in one of the cities that doesn’t border L.A. city. I’m in a place where sidewalk muffins do not exist. I doubt I’ll ever set foot in L.A. city again. And if Raman is elected, I suggest you follow suit.

Goodbye L.A.

And good luck.

Since We’re Talking Elections…

I find it endlessly fascinating that rightists, many of whom believe that the 2020 election was “stollen” by murderous Venezuelan robot voting machines, accuse “the Jews” of stealing the Kentucky GOP primary from Massie by…spending money on commercials.

Wait…what? In a world in which killer South American robots have the ability to hack computers and steal ballots, to automatically alter ballots within the computer after the voter turns his back, to create false flag water pipe leaks at polling stations as misdirection while truckloads of blank ballots are unloaded and filled out by counters as everyone else is busy with the broken main, you’re angry at Jews for above-board spending on commercials?

Man, we Jews are some primitive-ass vote stealers! Venezuelans have mastered vote-transforming robots, while we’re still buying commercial time like it’s Eisenhower/Stevenson. I thought we were the high-IQ ones! Somebody call Steve Sailer and ask him at what point did Venezuelans pass us on the bell curve.

Ann Coulter, one of Massie’s staunchest defenders, recently had as a guest on her podcast a NY Times reporter who stressed that the commercials paid for by “the Jews” focused NOT on Israel, NOT on slandering Massie, NOT on lies. The commercials merely pointed out that Trump wanted Massie defeated. The commercials “reinforced” a truth, “over and over and over again.”

All that those “Jew commercials” did was spread awareness of a fact. I doubt most GOP voters needed to be reminded that Trump wanted Massie gone, but let’s say for the sake of argument that those kike kommercials informed a thousand or so GOP voters who’d spent the previous year in a cave (Alex Jones fans awaiting the apocalypse alongside their boxes of survival kibble).

So the fuck what?

How is informing voters all of a sudden “stealing an election?” The beef with “the Jews” is that they ran commercials informing voters of something factual, that Trump wanted Massie gone. What’s the converse of Massie’s beef? That Trump’s opposition to Massie should’ve been hidden? Suppressed? I mean, if it’s “vote stealing” or “election rigging” to provide accurate info to voters, it must therefore be “fair electioneering” to hide accurate info from voters.

It’s nutty. If you don’t like Trump giving Massie the boot, take it up with Trump. But to get angry at “the Jews” for legally and openly spending their own money to accurately inform voters, well…that’s absolutely anti-Jewish on your part. Whatever “the Jews’” motives, whether disagreeing with Massie on Israel or disliking him because he assisted the political ambitions of his buddy Dan Bilzerian, a man who has explicitly stated that he wants to exterminate all Jews, or because Massie campaigned with Ryan Matta, another “exterminate the Jews” guy who wore an “American Reich” t-shirt while appearing with Massie…

Why would Jews possibly oppose this guy?

…debate the motives all you like, but the commercials “the Jews” paid for were accurate, and all they did was inform voters of a fact.

When a partisan starts to argue that the only way they can win is by the suppression of facts, then that partisan has gone dirty. That partisan is a villain. Don’t blame Jews; blame the person saying “stop speaking the truth.”

Me? I’m 100% in favor of anything that brings accurate info to the attention of voters. The 2016 Democrat National Committee email leak was illegal to be sure, but it also resulted in the American public seeing what Dems were saying in private about Hillary, Bernie, and the party’s corruption. As I wrote in Takimag at the time, voters profited by being exposed to accurate info. Any rightist claiming that “Jew money” stole the Kentucky primary because a few Jews “paid for commercials” must also therefore concede that the DNC email leak stole the 2016 election. If flooding the voter pool with “too much information” equals “stealing,” then Democrats are right that 2016 was indeed “stollen” for Trump.

Massie’s just a crybaby, and his post-primary wailing about Jews just proves the oldest adage in the book: “He who assists a bearded genocidal Armenian Nazi poker player in his pursuit of exterminating Jews may himself not actually care for Jews.”

As true today as when Will Rogers said it in 1931.

Massie’s post-defeat Jew-baiting is proof we got it right; he’s a hateful schmuck. Good riddance, Herr Massie.

Ann always talks about how farm automation can reduce the need for illegal pickers. And she’s correct; the Japanese have long relied on automation to reduce the need for immigrants.

Well, Massie’s an inventor, right? That’s his big claim to fame. If crop picking/sorting machines can remove the need for Mexican laborers, maybe Massie can invent a machine that can remove the need for Jews! All that machine would have to do is cure diseases, split the atom, do your taxes, represent you in court, fill your cavities, run your hospitals, treat your depression, write the Great American Songbook, create the movie industry, and tell funny jokes about “what’s the deal with doorknobs.”

Easy-peasy, MaSSie! Get to it, you fucking shitstain Nazi loser.

Then Again, Here’s a Shitstain Nazi Winner…

With Platner’s primary victory in Maine, here’s some advice you’ll all ignore.

For years I hammered home the point, in my Takimag column and on Substack, that even the smallest sign of Nazism indicates mental instability. Hitch your horse to someone who praises Nazism, Hitler, or Nazi symbols, and you’ll be in for a bumpy ride. Because that person has a screw loose.

In 1936 Germany, sure - people who were not Nazis and not insane nevertheless went along with the program because it was the key to advancement at work and social mobility. But America 2026? Only deeply disturbed people embrace Nazism.

I’ve preached that point again and again and again.

Platner proves that point. The tattoo was just the tip of the iceberg. Dude’s a mess, from fantasizing about raping men to committing actual abuse against women. And this, too, is just the iceberg’s foreskin; way more will come out before the general.

Yet rightists look at what the Dems are going through with Platner and STILL say, "Hey, let's bring in a little BASED Nazism on our side! Just a little, for Gen Z. How could it hurt?"

There is no such thing as "a little Nazism." There is only sane or insane, stable or unstable. And all modern-day Nazi fetishists are either insane or unstable. That's a guarantee. As is the fact that Vance will continue to court the Fuentes lot, ignoring my message entirely.

Belfast Bellends

This week in Belfast a Sudanese Muslim beheaded a white guy and gouged out his eyes, in plain view, on the street, no shame, just like the other public beheadings the UK has witnessed since opening its doors to the world’s detritus.

One of my favorite sayings, repeated many times in my Taki’s column, is that there’s a difference between being “wrong” and being “the opposite of right.”

“Peter Dinklage was born in New York” is wrong; he was born in New Jersey. But it’s a simple enough error. On the other hand, saying “Peter Dinklage is known for being extremely tall” is more than wrong; it’s the opposite of right. It’s an error that could only come from the supremely stupid.

Many of my rightist pals have been on a bandwagon recently about how what’s really brave isn’t going after violent Third World immigrants. No, that’s not brave at all! What’s BRAVE is going after the JEWS who “occupy our country!” Get rid of THEM, and immigration problems will disappear.

That’s not just wrong; it’s the opposite of right. The people who go after Jews are not just “not brave,” they are in fact the biggest pussies known to man. The worst cowards. Because Jews will never behead or blind you for your criticism. The trend of going after Jews means that rightists are so fucking scared of Ungobungos and Akbars that they can only find their balls when criticizing Oygenflaygins.

Jonathan Majors punches your wife, so you go out and punch Mel Brooks for revenge.

Does that make you brave? Or a sniveling little weak pussy-faced coward?

That’s why Israel scares these people so much. Jews physically fight back in Israel, and your little game of earning X cred by posting Streicher cartoons and doing “edgy” anti-Jewish posts would screech to a fucking halt if punching back ever caught on with Western Jews.

Well don’t worry, it won’t. The North American/West European Gefiltefag will forever allow himself to be a punching bag. So sleep well; Irving Glickenschlitz will not behead you. Keep blaming him for the beheadings…if it makes you feel like a bigshot instead of the pussy you are.

BTW, there are only 440 Jews in all of Northern Ireland (out of a population of 1.9 million), and 2,300 Jews on the entire island (out of a population of 5.4 million). I’d ask the anti-Jew crowd to explain how nonexistent Jews could possibly be flooding Ireland with Third World beasts, but hey - that would be like asking Henry Cavill to actually lift a car over his head. He’s a fake superhero, just like the Jew-haters are fake braveboys.

At least Cavill makes good money pretending to be brave. What’s your fucking excuse?

Oh, right - X monetization.

Also, Irish leftists are pushing to have the beheading video banned from being shown to the public. Hey Massie fans, these open-borders micks are just like you! Too much information is BAAAAAAAD for voters.

Massie supports Dan “exterminate the Jews” Bilzerian, and campaigns with Ryan “exterminate the Jews” Matta, and all Jews did in response was…pay for some commercials. No beheadings, no eye-gougings. Just commercials.

But apparently we’re the savages.

What a world.

That’s all for now. Next week - the book update.

These are dark times. Help support a guy who honestly tries to make sense of them without catering to any extremist clique, left or right. If you enjoy my work, leave a tip at Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, or PayPal.