84 Comments
User's avatar
Betsy's avatar
5dEdited

Well, Mister David, again in reading your essay I learned a lot (I'm not in City of LA either but I was relieved AND amused to learn how Raman's squeaking past Pratt has made life so much harder for Basura - also quite interested to learn about hard vs soft reading of ballots); snickered; learned new terms (Grok doesn't know what Oygenflaygins means either but from context OK fine); got mad at anti-Semites again; and read stuff out loud to my family. My fond hope is you end up in the South Bay (GOD'S COUNTRY) and not some other not-city-just-county town. You need to charge more for your Substack. It is priceless.

David Cole's avatar

I truly appreciate that, Betsy. Thank you!

Natalie's avatar

"L.A. is both a city and a county."

Some idiot New Yawk journalist tweeted about "how pissed are you, Beverly Hills and Culver City, that Spencer Pratt wasn't on your ballot today?"

I had to say "Not at all, because those are separate cities with their own mayors." How the hell do I know that and a "journalist" doesn't? Probably intellectual curiosity; more likely actual intellect.

Speaking of Jews, I'm getting awful fuckin tired of being pretty much the only goy defending your kind—and not even for apocalyptic Christianity reasons, YOU'RE WELCOME—so can we get over this very stupid recurring hiccup in history so I can laser-focus my disgust on Muslims, Indians, and savage blacks again?

David Cole's avatar

My friend, I fear that we have several more years at least of this madness. I address that in next week's "meditation on death" piece. And thank you for standing up for us Oygenflaygins! Much appreciated.

And yeah, I had some dumbass on X tweet "Bass is gonna fuck up the World Cup matches," and I had to reply, "SoFi Stadium is in Inglewood. Different city, different mayor. And most of the hotels are in El Segundo - different city, different mayor."

Now the Olympics in '28...Raman or Bass, yep - THAT can be fucked up royally.

Mike Carroll's avatar

For a supposedly smart guy Massie appears to be awfully stupid. I felt Trump was 100% right to lead a charge to get this guy out of office, and Massie's behavior since the primary has only further vindicated Trump's actions. He can go do a podcast grift like Shmucker Carlson.

Great job as usual, enjoy the beer!

David Cole's avatar

Thanks for the beer, Mike. And indeed, Massie's actions since losing have proven us right. What a dick!

Aaron Moser's avatar

Ya before you could all be it very flimsy give him the benfit of the doubt and say he was just an anti interventionist using anti zionism to advance his cause but after his speech, sorry no way. Still a chance hes not really a nazi but its doesn't matter, he very dumb regardless trying to appeal to them.

Ricardo's avatar

It has become a fashion for some hyper-patriots to align themselves with Hitler apologists.

David Cole's avatar

Yep - a fad. Maybe the worst one of my lifetime...and I lived through the Moonies at the airport days.

Bill Shepard's avatar

I was already twisting my dick when you pulled the switch on me, Dave!

That won't happen again because I am mixing up a Slippery Dick.

Fill an old-fashioned or rocks glass with ice. Pour 1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps over the ice, followed by 2 oz Baileys Irish Cream. Top with 3/4 oz half-and-half. Stir, don't twist, then garnish with a maraschino cherry.

You are being disingenuous, Dave. You know it is not the Joos in North Ireland causing the problems. Everyone knows it is the Joos in Israel using their space lasers. We know it.

David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!! Damn them lasers!

Thanks for the drink recipe, Bill!

Just Phyne's avatar

Are those the lasers that control the weather or a different set of lasers? I can't keep up.

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

Except for the marachino cherry (which I avoid because I don't believe they are an actual foodstuff) that sounds like a Slippery Nipple.

Andy Anderson's avatar

I don't know about anyone else, but I always enjoyed your columns on California and LA in particular. I have learned a lot that I wouldn't otherwise know. For instance, I would've thought Beverly Hills was a bastion of leftism like Los Angeles. I also would've thought Compton and South Central LA were still like Boyz in the Hood instead of American Me. And I would not have known that Karen Bass was the "tough on crime" candidate when she was elected. Let me guess. You're living in Lancaster to be with your African brothers and sisters. Am I right?

David Cole's avatar

LOL!!!!!!! I tend to plan my life to be as far from Lancaster as humanly possible! As all smart human beings should.

Thanks for the kind words, Andy. Very much appreciated.

Carl F. Horowitz's avatar

This is an illuminating and (of course) hilarious piece on urban geography, ethnicity and politics. It's too bad so many voters are politically stupid. Much as I deplore Karen Bass, she's a centrist compared to the loathsome Raman Noodles. If there is anything more nauseating than a far-Left, Third World male politician, it's a far-Left, Third World female politician.

David Cole's avatar

Well-put, Carl!

Glenn Damato's avatar

For a second there, based on the title of the article, I thought YOU were personally, physically, leaving LA. I suppose not.

I am departing in October, taking my boat to the Sea of Cortez, trabajo, cerveza, siesta - my trabajo will be boat maintenance - then on to Polynesia in May. Will not be returning to California as a residence - legal domicile becomes Florida.

I've never heard you express what you think about my own LA County 'hood since 2006, Marina del Rey. I'm guessing it won't be charitable 😁

David Cole's avatar

I'll miss you, my friend. But some of the best people I know have gone to Florida. I hope to see you before you leave. As for MDR, lots of great childhood memories there (Mothers Beach, Fisherman's Village). And I'm sure the living's great in a high-rise as you are. But ground level? A little too close to Venice for my liking!

Glenn Damato's avatar

I guessed wrong! I never knew you liked MDR.

Florida law allows declaration of legal domicile without physically residing in Florida - my vessel will be registered in Florida shortly but the boat retains federal-level documentation and the Florida registration fee is only $80/year. No personal property tax on boats. The boat is my tie to Florida, and there is no time limit - people do this with RVs as well. The federal government and my financial institutions already have my Florida "domicile" address and it's accepted as a valid home address.

Why doesn't everyone do this? You have to jump through hoops, and you can't have any remaining ties to CA or NY or wherever else - no residence, job, bank accounts, etc.

If I get EU citizenship this year I may stay in French Polynesia for a while.

You know where to find me . . . great time of the year to hang out on the boat and drink (if you're drinking).

David Cole's avatar

I AM drinking these days! I'll email you, and let's get together.

Regarding MDR, my mom and grandma used to take me to Fisherman's Village when I was a kid. The restaurant that's now Whiskey Red's, previously Shanghai Red's (I have no idea what it was in 1970) had these open fire pits, and I still remember loving the smell. And there was a floating semi-submerged aquarium in the docks. I LOVED that place! You'd enter above sea level and descend down stairs, and you'd be able to see all the underwater life swim by. I LOVED it there.

Glenn Damato's avatar

Say the word. I'm close to Killer Shrimp. Out of town June 16-26 but otherwise always around, not even employed 😁

Kelly Harbeson's avatar

If you are a sailor, I think you might prefer the Gulf coast over the Atlantic coast, not least because of the generally lower slip fees.

Glenn Damato's avatar

Thanks but I have no desire to live in or sail the East coast of North America. After I leave California, I won't have any slip fees at all (full-time moored or anchored). Besides, the notion that slip fees are lower in Florida and other Gulf and East-coast states is out of date by a few years. It's no longer true - unless you want to keep your boat in a very remote spot without much demand.

Due to the hurricane season, that part of the world is mostly suitable for folks who cruise seasonally, not full time. Polynesia and the Med is for full-time cruisers. There are storm seasons too, of course, but you can migrate across the equator and "beat the calendar." In the Atlantic, there's really no place to go if you try to do the same.

In Mexico, Hawaii, and French Polynesia, there are moorings to be had for about $500 per month, and that includes full use of facilities such as pool, laundry, rest rooms, etc. Many of the facilities are quite attractive and people stay long-term (except for Hawaii, which is time limited). It's common to winter over in the Sea of Cortez (weather quite mild, no storms) and migrate into Polynesia in May or June. The trip to places like Hawaii or the Marquesas is long but the trade winds are extremely reliable and they push you all the way there - if you plan your trips by season, you can entirely avoid hurricanes and cyclones while cruising full-time year-round if you so choose. Finally, with few exceptions, the islands of French Polynesia, Cook Islands, Samoa, Fiji, and New Zealand are safer, more accommodating, and generally more cruiser-friendly and "civilized" than the Caribbean and the West Indies.

Harshkumar's avatar

Pieces of Eight?

Marina Del Ray is a perfect example of how great the Los Angeles area can be.

Harshkumar's avatar

You drink regularly, but can you captain a boat in the open ocean down to the Sea of Cortez? You gonna round the Horn next?

Glenn Damato's avatar

I do not drink regularly. When did I imply that was the case? I drink occasionally, never to excess. My health is probably better than 95-percent of other sixty-six year olds. I require no medications, and I can sail and maintain my 34-foot Beneteau no problem.

Harshkumar's avatar

Well, since you mentioned Dave should come onto your boat and drink, I thought it was a regular occurrence - my bad!

It is impressive how Dave can drink so much and remain productive in his writings, so I was implying overcoming drinking and successfully making it to the Gulf of California was also impressive - enough to round the Horn!

Glenn Damato's avatar

Thanks but "Tropicale" is a tropical boat . . . I wouldn't take this boat north of Point Conception or south of Auckland. I'm not man enough for The Horn 😎

Tom Servo's avatar

I don't understand the confusion so many have with contiguous cities in urban areas. I grew up on the West side of Phoenix. I lived in Phoenix. Several blocks away was Camelback. If I crossed it, I was in Glendale. a different city. No sign, no difference. The hobby store and McDonald's were in Glendale. The Safeway and Thrifty Drug were in Phoenix across the street.

Now I live in Tarpon Springs, Florida, a suburb of Tampa. I can drive to the airport in Tampa, and the only sign I see is when I cross the Pinellas-Hillsborough County line. There are no signs defining the different cities along the way, just a marker on the main road for the county. Side streets also go through and are not labeled, even at the county level.

David Cole's avatar

Many visitors are in town right now for the World Cup matches; they're very confused!

Patrick's avatar

Great article, Dave, as usual, but I'll admit your tease about a meditation on death has me curious. The two most important days in everyone's life are the day you're born and the day you die, but the latter is way more interesting. Trust me, I'm wild at parties, honest. I also want to add to your list of traits of the Nazi-curious. Insane, unstable, .....and small of dick. At the risk of oversimplification, the entire NSDAP program was essentially an outgrowth of a giant inferiority complex. It got super nutty when they started up with all the Wagnerian gods-and-symbols-heroic-narrative quackery, then got super dangerous when they mixed in the aggressive militarism to export the miserable circus. It's the quackery shit that worries me the most in the context of the present day USA, as many Americans have this annoying habit of attaching themselves to movements that seem to offer a way of "owning" those with whom they disagree politically. People are small, and cheering along with vocal assholes like Tucker, Fuentes, and now (apparently) Massie, makes them feel big. Looking forward to news about the book, and beers coming to you, 'cause why not?

David Cole's avatar

Many, many thanks for the beers, my friend (and for the kind and insightful words). Very much appreciated!

Harshkumar's avatar

Dave is the best - we all love his writings. He is a creative genius.

Hitler is the worst. He got millions of our toughest and smartest white men to kill each other, so we didn't have what it takes to resist the ph aggoty liberals taking over and ruining the country. (and significant parts of Europe) It will probably take another couple hundred years for a critical mass of tough and smart white men to rise up and slay the liberals.

It will happen, though, because pretty women reward the toughest and smartest men with children, with rich being a reasonable proxy women also accept.

BP's avatar
3dEdited

Dave's statement about the fact that there's a difference between being "wrong" and the "opposite of right" could be modified to fit Adolf Hitler.

Hitler wasn't just a failure; he was extraordinarily successful in achieving the exact opposite of his stated goals:

Lebensraum? Germany lost substantial territory after the Second World War.

Hitler believed in eugenics. Getting millions of "Ubermenschen" killed (including as you said, some of "our toughest and smartest white men") actually sounds somewhat dysgenic.

A strong, secure Germany-- Hitler's legacy has been successfully invoked by those opposed to even modest efforts to restrict the mass migration of economic migrants from third world nations into Germany and other western nations.

Deutschland Über Alles? Even when it comes to the Deutschlandlied, the Nazis appropriated the song and now the first two stanzas have been excised from the German National Anthem because of their contamination by association with that regime.

In addition, and this was good for America, he aided the Manhatten Project by forcing many of the best scientists working in Germany to flee to the United States.

Unless a person's only criteria for judging greatness is ones' ability to kill Jews, it's staggering that this utter, absolute loser; this abnormal, murderous freak actually has admirers.

Harshkumar's avatar

Very well said - perhaps if people consider all your points, the worship of Hitler will stop.

David Cole's avatar

Great comment, my friend. Thank you!

Ann Fan's avatar

I wouldn't put anything past Ol' Dave, but I can't help but think that I got so SOO much more enjoyment out of this next level quadruple banger than the originally scheduled meditation on death.

David Cole's avatar

LOL! You may be right.

noochness's avatar

Dave, could Bass's current situation be related at all to the fires?

Also, what do you think of praise of Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)? Does he deserve it, or should he be condemned as a madman and killer?

David Cole's avatar

Regarding the fires, the affected areas went for Pratt. As expected. Bass' name is poison there, but that helped Pratt, not Raman. It's looking more and more like Raman's team farmed Downtown/Skid Row, very far from where the fires were (indeed, I doubt the people there even knew there WERE fires).

As for Napoleon, that's a heavy question! I'll get back to ya.

noochness's avatar

Thanks so much! I figgered that, as the Powers That Be decided to keep Gascon in power, so they decided amongst themselves to wave goodbye to Bass b/c of the fires. Or maybe it's G-d who is taking her out! I don't think I'll ever forget that butch female assistant fire chief telling a woman that her fat husband would just hafta burn to death b/c strength requirements are sexist.

I think Napoleon still gets good press because he cultivated the arts and sciences. Thus the intellectualoid writers loved him then and still love him now. I asked Ms. Google if he killed more people than Frederick the Great. Here's her response, edited by me:

Napoleon killed exponentially more people than Frederick the Great. The Napoleonic Wars resulted in an estimated 3.5 to 6.5 million deaths (including soldiers and civilians), whereas Frederick’s wars resulted in roughly a few hundred thousand military and civilian casualties.

Here is how their total casualty counts break down:

Napoleon Bonaparte (1803–1815): Total deaths estimated between 3,500,000 and 6,500,000 people. Napoleon’s campaigns spanned continental Europe and utilized mass-conscription ("levee en masse"). The massive scale of death was driven by enormous army sizes (e.g., the initial 600,000 man Grande Armée invading Russia) and rampant disease in military camps.

Frederick the Great (1740–1786): Total deaths estimated between 200,000 and 500,000 people. Frederick's armies fought mostly in Central Europe during conflicts like the War of the Austrian Succession and the Seven Years' War. 18th-century warfare was smaller in scale and relied on professional, highly-drilled armies. While these wars were brutal, the total population sizes and army deployment numbers were a fraction of those seen during the Napoleonic era.

Harshkumar's avatar

All those top jobs are just political patronage now - if you learned how to act and get attention, you can pretend to be anything nowadays - but the real work is done by the unsung heroes behind the scenes, as long as water is in the Santa Ynez Reservoir or equivalent.

Dave Weber's avatar

So it is true, Adam does ruin everything! 😀😃🙂

bennett2050@yahoo.com's avatar

Soooooo waiting on this book update!

David Cole's avatar

It's coming!

Brian P Henry's avatar

Too much urban geography for a guy from Appalachia. Whenever I convey one of your bon mots to my wife I’m going to stick with - my formerly Beverly Hills buddy. In the meantime, an early start to the weekend is probably in order, so have one on me,

David Cole's avatar

Thank you, Brian - you've certainly helped start the weekend great!

Richard Finch's avatar

Vance will kick the groypers to the curb if he’s running as the incumbent, which looks increasingly likely to me as I watch Drowsy Donny decompose before my eyes.

David Cole's avatar

Well, I hope you're right about Vance. But...I'm a bit less optimistic.

Skip's avatar

Same. Here in Ohio, Vance is looking less and less.... of anything. I'm sure he'll run. But what he'll run *on*? No idea. He's changed his "deeply held convictions" so many times that I'm wonder any time I see a photo of him that doesn't show his feet - I'm not sure he's even standing on them at this point.