My Next Long-Form Piece? You Decide!

A special Dave Cole birthday event

I started writing online in 2009, when I was hired to edit and write for the site of an ex-Breitbart guy who wanted to challenge his former boss’s blog dominance. Prior to that, I’d only written for print pubs like the L.A. Times. Online was a bizarre new world to me, ‘cuz notions of column inches and space restrictions didn’t matter anymore.

And I remember doing some cursory research and finding out that the general consensus among “blogging experts” was that length is not a deterrent to views. You don’t necessarily have to keep everything short, as long as you keep it engaging.

And I gotta say, my Substack is bearing that out. My long-form pieces get better numbers than my short ones. And I want to thank all youse mugs for helping to bring in some really great numbers for the Cole Chronology piece.

So I want to do a long-form piece every few months. And I’d like you to choose the next one.

What seems to work best for me is to keep my critique of politics (MAGA, the right, racial matters, etc.) at Takimag. Holocaust-themed pieces seem to play better here, as Taki’s has a strict word-limit, but I can really let loose on Substack, tossing in visuals like screencaps and pics and such.

I’ve come up with four possible next long-forms, and here’s how we’re gonna decide which one I’ll do: as it’s my birthday on the 2nd (Labor Day!), I want to do a b-day fundraiser without being so crass as to call it a b-day fundraiser.

So we’ll make a contest out of it!

Just buy me a beer and in the “leave a note” section list the number of the piece you’d like to see me do. On Friday, September 20th, I’ll tally up, and the suggestion that brought in the most “beers” wins (remember - I’ll be going by beers bought, so if you feel strongly about a particular option, buy more than one beer!).

Here are the options:

1. Answering that abysmal Ron Unz anti-Cole piece from earlier in the year. A point-by-point response to the Elephant Unz’s denial drivel.

2. The Cole Chronology piece had a lot of self-deprecation in it. But not everything I did 1992-1994 was bad. At least, the intentions were not bad. So this one would be a dissection of the points I made and things I said (like, on Donahue for example) back then. And I’d explain my motivations, wins, and losses.

3. The 1992 “Piper tape,” a homemade video that’s outlasted million-dollar documentaries in terms of people still praising it, passing it around, posting it, obsessing over it (pro and con), and generally not letting the fucking thing die. I’d detail how that film came about, and I assure you, it’s not what you think.

4. The question I get asked the most is, “but what’s your actual Holocaust thesis? Where do you agree with the mainstream narrative, where do you disagree with it, and why?” As I said in the Chronology piece, even my book appendix from 2014 needs updating. So this option would be my complete Holocaust thesis.

So what say you? 1, 2, 3, or 4?

Your beers will decide.

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE BEER(S) And in the “note” section, list your preferred number.

During my days as David Stein the Republican Party Animal, my level of respect in Friends of Abe was such that every birthday, the members would present me with Photoshops or drawings in my honor.

Some came out great…

…some not so much.

And some…

Nobody draws ol’ Dave anymore. The last person to do a birthday drawing for me was Kera the Porn Girl, who used to enjoy sketching me (and sketching us together). And yes, she got my male “endowment” 100% right.

I’ve NO idea why or how this “drawing me” thing got started.

And no, I’m not hinting that I want it back.

But I DO want you to VOTE WITH YOUR BEERS!

My next long-form piece depends on it.

Happy Birthday to Dave at 56!