I've read your stuff regularly for a long time now. Again, FWIW, the best of it can really get to the reader, connect with them. I think that the demands of writing to a schedule, for consumption, means that not all work can be inspired, but when it *is*, it's top quality.
As I often remind people, this is my real job. Two a week, and that's how I get paid. When one piece or another connects with readers, that's a reward beyond money.
I'll share this one thing from my POV, an older reader. Beyond that and it would be counterproductive.
If someone reads your columns long enough, that person eventually sees the author as a modern, intelligent, highly imaginative man swimming upstream, like a salmon. A renegade paying the price. There is without any doubt a certain heroic quality and one can never deny that. It would be much easier to simply turn around and go with the flow, although I realize that in your particular case this is no longer possible.
In contrast to the model for most traditional heroes, there is no stoic acceptance of this fate. And yet this *still* works to your advantage, overall, although it can be a fine line.
I'm sorry, but I don´t see that at all. The Salmon swims upstream to spawn or some shit like that, then dies. David Cole is being SWEPT downstream, still alive. That's the proper analogy, or metaphor, or whatever.
Dave is like a modern Bukowski, but with much snappier daily material.
Both guys, as a result of early choices, live(d) their lives on the fringe, *against* the main flow, pushing back, taking neither shit nor prisoners. There is a core of *real*, not faked, humanity in both.
This might be my new favorite thing you have ever written. Was wondering if something was wrong with your Substack inactivity, glad to hear you are on the mend!
When I die I want to go a way that will be remembered! Not some faggoty death by tooth infection, I want to be attacked and eaten quickly by a Great White shark! I'll finally be famous!
"David Cole?" "Isn't that the Holocaust denier who died of a tooth infection?"
"Bill Shepard?" "Who can forget that guy who got eaten by a Great White shark!"
You don't need the amoxicillin, Dave. I have a better cure for your infection. It will also cure your sobriety! Take four times a day until your writing to improve.
Dave, please accept that generous offer from the Silicon Valley billionaire. I know you're too proud to take the money, so maybe let Ann take it for you and hold it for dispersal in emergencies. You've earned it, accept the earn!
A lot to process here. So first, and most importantly, I'm glad that you're okay. The column was excellent, they always are but I got to see a slightly different side of David Cole there and I found it quite moving. Except for the part about Paul kicking someone in the dick. That was just funny. I can feel you on both the tooth infection and the food poisoning thing. I haven't been able to eat a hoagie in over 40 years thanks to a serious bout. Two years ago my jaw was so badly infected they gave me the stuff they use for anthrax. I was warned about those potentially explosive side effects, fortunately my guts are cast iron. Now the hard part. I'm sorry for your loss. And if Key brought you happiness it is your loss. And I can empathize there too. I lost Pye back in November. Lymphoma that had no symptoms until the last 10 days of her life. And then they hit one after the other. I knew she was dying even before we had a diagnosis. I've lost several cats over the years and they're all painful. This one crushed my soul and I don't think I can do it again. I'll shoot you a couple of beers to help out. Least I can do for all that you give to me. Again, so glad that you're back. I was truly concerned about your well being.
Thank you for the beers, Sandy! And for the extremely kind sentiment (and the DM, which is very much appreciated).
I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. My childhood cat was named Pye! After my Siamese was killed and my mom and I moved into an apartment with my grandma, my mom wanted to get me a new cat. We were at the Century City mall (a place very dear to me that I've mentioned in my columns), and there was a person giving away kittens! Pye was a female tabby...the first of what would become my childhood menagerie. She was grumpy with the other animals as they joined us, but she learned to get along, although she remained fiercely protective...and a bit possessive...of my mom.
You are very, very welcome. And thank you. Our Pye's came up once before. I remember asking if someone had a thing for Kim Novack or something like that.
No need. Booze may not be a memory aid but I wouldn't have expected you to remember that right off. I think we throw a lot of tidbits your way, you sure can't remember all of them.
Cats like that. They learn to get along with other cats and dogs and even to cuddle with them and like them but they are jealous and solitary creatures at heart. My mom had to give one back because her original cat terrorized it 🥲
Glad an M&M didn't kill you, and I've also wondered about the dog/shark thing, except in my case it's "dog/turtles and gators". I was on a soft food diet after an eblasion and ate so much sushi it put me off it forever. Does Carlson still read you? Apparently he did a shitload of acid in his college days, which may explain his current obsessions.
When I was four or five years old, my mother had a cat named "Precious." I absolutely adored her. We were genuine pals. We played together, slept together, and even sometimes ate together. LOL! My grandmother was none too amused about that last connection and communicated her disfavor with a rolled-up newspaper on a few ocasions until I finally got the message. The cat, a victim of the newspaper herself, was most sympathetic. In one of my old albums, I have a photo of me and the cat eating from the cat bowl.
All of that ended one afternoon when I returned from kindergarten to discover that Precious had been destroyed beneath the wheels of a garbage truck. Something changed in me that day. Since then, I have had no interest or desire in pets. I've never had another and don't imagine I ever will. The awful death of Precious must have seared some part of me emotionally and my lack of interest is a deep coping mechanism to avoid the pain of loss.
Sorry for the long-winded comment. It is just that your column touched a memory, and I wanted to share my experience.
Our beloved animals are with us always; we all have memories like that. The day they die, either suddenly with no chance of saying goodbye or the day we hear the words "it's terminal" and you know you'll have to witness the slow death. It sears our memory; we never lose those moments. And for me, I've had enough of those moments to never want it again.
I’m an ardent animal lover and somewhat of a masochist because of the seven cats and 2 dogs,five were oldsters who were dumped by callous adult children who were ok getting rid of departed mom/dad’s beloved dog/cat. Buttercup aka Butterz will be, we think, 16 soon. I rescued her in 2020 at age approx 11- a hoot of a loving Maltese Poodle Terrierish. We know going in we’ll outlive them. At least that’s the plan, and it stinks. It’s one reason I hate nature, with its mass murder proclivities and the giving and taking away of joy. Butterz will be my last pet.
Glag you"re on the mend, Dave. I have to echo your feelings on pets, though I'm not sure I could live without one. My concern is that they will outlive me, a terrible and undeserved fate for a faithful pet.
There’s nothing more vile than food poisoning. Gives me pause to how humans have managed to evolve and thrive considering hygiene practices up to even 50 years ago. Good god still perplexed how (some) Chinese restaurants stay open. (It’s a FACT so don’t come after me. - go look at the monthly LA Dept of Health listings to see the disproportionate number of Chinese restaurants being cited. I love Chinese food, tho I proceed with caution. ).
I will never understand the love for a food (raw fish) that smells like where it came from. I mean, a chicken doesn’t taste like a barnyard, a steak from a barn, but that’s me.
Anyway, really sorry, Dave. Why not hitch your wagon to Obamacare. I had to have it for two years. It was better than nothing.
Sushi's unlike most other foods I love. I don't mind greasy, cheap burgers. To me, a burger loses something when you fancy it up, like "good restaurants" do. "Gourmet burgers?" Bah! Gimme something from a dirty grill. But sushi needs to come from a meticulously clean, reliable (pricey) place, or you're risking a lot. As I learned. Before the food poisoning, I used to take chances with sushi (one month in 1993, researching at the National Archives, I lived purely on mall sushi...in D.C.! Amazed I survived). There's only one sushi place around here I trust, and only two Chinese restaurants I trust (because yeah, nobody gets hit with closures like those guys).
Derb was saying in his latest Radio Derb that it wasn't until 1920 that the medical establishment paid attention to sterilization. Much as I hate to give WWI any credit, I suspect it was lessons learned in that conflict (i.e., huge numbers of wounded dying from infection) that led to medicos washing their hands.
Where I live, the Chinese restaurants hang dead chickens/other unknown animals near the entranceway so the customers can see them, and inspect them, I guess.
I went to a place like that once. I agree with the concept of fresh food but it has to be handled better than that!
I didn’t get my first dog (George) until age 38, but quickly became one of those people who vastly prefer them to nearly all humans. So on May10, 2005, our second dog (Miles) left us after a year’s valiant fight with cancer, where we were taking him to OSU for a then experimental treatment. The next morning we were preparing to bury Miles, when about 7:00 my mother called saying my dad had fallen and been taken to the hospital via ambulance, status unknown. Turns out he fractured his neck, and died 6 days later. Thereafter, George went straight downhill and died three weeks later. Now, I’m 71 and probably on my last two dogs, and already have that vague feeling of dread in the back of my mind. Anyway, I’m sorry about the loss of your canine friend, but glad that you’ve bounced back from your medical issue. The least I can do is reimburse you for a round of high powered antibiotics.
Thank you so much for the beers, Brian, and I'm terribly sorry for the loss of Miles, George, and your dad. When things happen in a cluster like that, it can be unspeakably devastating. Dogs are just such wonderful animals. My last one arrived with the young lady who lived with me, and left with her two years later. In that time, I got yet another best buddy ever (the dog, not the girl), and I purposely don't check her social media because I don't want to know when he passes. It's the frustrating dog conundrum; so wonderful when they're here, so emotionally wrecking when they go.
Damn David! Your article made it sound like you'd had some kind of near-death religious experience over that M&M fiasco! Talking about God, and the Bible... and the Elephant Man! He really wasn't "an animal", but it reminds us to thank the Lord that we didn't end up as circus freaks, on display for a nickel and a box of Cracker Jacks!
I'm curious though... Since that "less than ideal" sushi put you off the stuff, what's your current stance on M&M's? (also, side question- Was a it a peanut M&M, or a normal one? Also, what color? That Red Dye #9 could have played a role, just sayin')
Well, as always, glad to hear you survived! I'm coming off two weeks of pneumonia myself, and I'm aligned with your philosophy- Unless death is imminent and certain, I'm not seeking "medical care". After the Covid death reimbursement scam, I'd rather go see a drunken veterinarian than a human medical doctor!
Totally switching gears, how closely are you tracking Candace Owen's "Becoming Brigette" reporting? Because if that one can be easily explained away, I'd love to hear it, because on it's face, it all sounds fishy as fuck!
It was an M&M peanut (don't recall the color). I've been advised not to eat anything "hard" for the next few weeks (insert gay joke here), so while I still HAVE a full bag of 'em, I'm not touching them regardless. Maybe I'll auction them off...Dave's "death candy."
Regarding a different Candy - Owens - I'm not following the Macron thing because I'm more obsessed with the L.A. Times' owner Soon-Shiong possibly bringing her on as a partner in a new Times digital venture. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde - the Times goes 25 years with no conservative commentary, and now it goes full Owens. Just goes to prove that you can never predict what a Chinaman will do.
I don't know, but this sounds like an opportunity... Because if they are willing to bring on Candace, surely a certain David Cole has a shot! Say the word, and we'll start a grassroots campaign. "This Week in the City of Angels, by Hollywood Insider, David Cole"
She's Chinese, and they are famous for not giving a fuck about the Holocaust, so she might see it (your somewhat controversial past) as a selling point!
Get you a solid local side hustle, so you can pay some big booty Latina to chew your M&M's for you.
You mean George Wentworth, his wife Ali being the talent in the family, esp. in Head Case, hilarious show about a shrink crazier than her celebrity guest patients---with Steve Landesberg unforgettable as Freudian psychiatrist Dr. Myron Finkelstein, who shares an office with Wentworth.
I just left this comment on one of Ms. Coulter's Twitter posts:
Ms. Coulter, please consider contacting Patrick Soon-Shiong to get David Cole a perch on the LAT Next venture. Mr. S. is thinking about hiring Candace Owens, so why not court more rabid overreaction?
What! Are you sure? because her Mandarin is pitch perfect! Also, did you read Dave's response to understand what we are talking about here? "Candace is black"... yeah, I kind of guessed that much for myself. Also, she's not "very black", more like a very milk chocolate caramel, filled with nougat, and some nuts, and really hits the spot after a long hike on the Oregon Trail...
A most excellent column you wrote for us Dave! Thank God your jaw didn't get all funky and fall off, one can never be too cautious while eatin' them damned M&M's. I have lost so many pets, friends, and family members in my 62 years of livin' on this here rock, I don't want to think about 'em all. Sometimes the memories cause me to get all sad, and then Dave writes some hilarious shit that makes me die laughing . . . all is well afterwards !!!
FWIW (not much), I read today's Takimag article a couple of hours ago, and it was indeed one of the best ones I've read in the last few years.
I second that
I truly appreciate that. Thank you.
I've read your stuff regularly for a long time now. Again, FWIW, the best of it can really get to the reader, connect with them. I think that the demands of writing to a schedule, for consumption, means that not all work can be inspired, but when it *is*, it's top quality.
As I often remind people, this is my real job. Two a week, and that's how I get paid. When one piece or another connects with readers, that's a reward beyond money.
I'll share this one thing from my POV, an older reader. Beyond that and it would be counterproductive.
If someone reads your columns long enough, that person eventually sees the author as a modern, intelligent, highly imaginative man swimming upstream, like a salmon. A renegade paying the price. There is without any doubt a certain heroic quality and one can never deny that. It would be much easier to simply turn around and go with the flow, although I realize that in your particular case this is no longer possible.
In contrast to the model for most traditional heroes, there is no stoic acceptance of this fate. And yet this *still* works to your advantage, overall, although it can be a fine line.
That's a wonderful comment, and I'm grateful you took the time to share that with me. Many, many thanks.
I'm sorry, but I don´t see that at all. The Salmon swims upstream to spawn or some shit like that, then dies. David Cole is being SWEPT downstream, still alive. That's the proper analogy, or metaphor, or whatever.
Dave is like a modern Bukowski, but with much snappier daily material.
Both guys, as a result of early choices, live(d) their lives on the fringe, *against* the main flow, pushing back, taking neither shit nor prisoners. There is a core of *real*, not faked, humanity in both.
This might be my new favorite thing you have ever written. Was wondering if something was wrong with your Substack inactivity, glad to hear you are on the mend!
Thank you, Mike!
Tennyson said it best " Better to have Loved and Lost , Than never to have loved at all " .
Indeed.
When I die I want to go a way that will be remembered! Not some faggoty death by tooth infection, I want to be attacked and eaten quickly by a Great White shark! I'll finally be famous!
"David Cole?" "Isn't that the Holocaust denier who died of a tooth infection?"
"Bill Shepard?" "Who can forget that guy who got eaten by a Great White shark!"
You don't need the amoxicillin, Dave. I have a better cure for your infection. It will also cure your sobriety! Take four times a day until your writing to improve.
The Penicillin cocktail
Shake with ice:
2 ounces blended Scotch
1 ounce honey syrup
Juice from 1/2 lemon
Pour into a coupe then float on top:
1/2 ounce smoky Scotch
Garnish with candied ginger.
I will try that sir! Thank you!
How many Substack wordsmiths can boast a resident mixologist to supplement their columns? By God, Dave, you've arrived!
Dave, please accept that generous offer from the Silicon Valley billionaire. I know you're too proud to take the money, so maybe let Ann take it for you and hold it for dispersal in emergencies. You've earned it, accept the earn!
I do think about that offer, often.
Do it, England! And I apologize for continually harping on this issue.....
If it is Peter Thiel, he not only has billions, but dodged the taxes on them, so take it!
glad you recovered Dave
Thank you! Much appreciated.
I’m glad you got un-Unzed. That could have been a fate worse than death
LOL!!! Indeed.
A lot to process here. So first, and most importantly, I'm glad that you're okay. The column was excellent, they always are but I got to see a slightly different side of David Cole there and I found it quite moving. Except for the part about Paul kicking someone in the dick. That was just funny. I can feel you on both the tooth infection and the food poisoning thing. I haven't been able to eat a hoagie in over 40 years thanks to a serious bout. Two years ago my jaw was so badly infected they gave me the stuff they use for anthrax. I was warned about those potentially explosive side effects, fortunately my guts are cast iron. Now the hard part. I'm sorry for your loss. And if Key brought you happiness it is your loss. And I can empathize there too. I lost Pye back in November. Lymphoma that had no symptoms until the last 10 days of her life. And then they hit one after the other. I knew she was dying even before we had a diagnosis. I've lost several cats over the years and they're all painful. This one crushed my soul and I don't think I can do it again. I'll shoot you a couple of beers to help out. Least I can do for all that you give to me. Again, so glad that you're back. I was truly concerned about your well being.
Thank you for the beers, Sandy! And for the extremely kind sentiment (and the DM, which is very much appreciated).
I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. My childhood cat was named Pye! After my Siamese was killed and my mom and I moved into an apartment with my grandma, my mom wanted to get me a new cat. We were at the Century City mall (a place very dear to me that I've mentioned in my columns), and there was a person giving away kittens! Pye was a female tabby...the first of what would become my childhood menagerie. She was grumpy with the other animals as they joined us, but she learned to get along, although she remained fiercely protective...and a bit possessive...of my mom.
You are very, very welcome. And thank you. Our Pye's came up once before. I remember asking if someone had a thing for Kim Novack or something like that.
That's right! I remember now. Sorry...booze isn't the best memory aid!
No need. Booze may not be a memory aid but I wouldn't have expected you to remember that right off. I think we throw a lot of tidbits your way, you sure can't remember all of them.
Cats like that. They learn to get along with other cats and dogs and even to cuddle with them and like them but they are jealous and solitary creatures at heart. My mom had to give one back because her original cat terrorized it 🥲
I saw the left is trying to organize a no-buying day on 2/28 as a protest---so one may want to plan purchases accordingly.....
I love when they do that shit - fewer other people to get in my way or cause a stock out.
Glad an M&M didn't kill you, and I've also wondered about the dog/shark thing, except in my case it's "dog/turtles and gators". I was on a soft food diet after an eblasion and ate so much sushi it put me off it forever. Does Carlson still read you? Apparently he did a shitload of acid in his college days, which may explain his current obsessions.
LOL! Tuck and I don't talk. But I do know he still reads me (via mutual acquaintances).
Yeah I figured you may have heard something third party
Tucker's ass-like "laugh" suggests you're on to something.
Hi Dave! The CAPTCHA earned a snort from me. LOL!
When I was four or five years old, my mother had a cat named "Precious." I absolutely adored her. We were genuine pals. We played together, slept together, and even sometimes ate together. LOL! My grandmother was none too amused about that last connection and communicated her disfavor with a rolled-up newspaper on a few ocasions until I finally got the message. The cat, a victim of the newspaper herself, was most sympathetic. In one of my old albums, I have a photo of me and the cat eating from the cat bowl.
All of that ended one afternoon when I returned from kindergarten to discover that Precious had been destroyed beneath the wheels of a garbage truck. Something changed in me that day. Since then, I have had no interest or desire in pets. I've never had another and don't imagine I ever will. The awful death of Precious must have seared some part of me emotionally and my lack of interest is a deep coping mechanism to avoid the pain of loss.
Sorry for the long-winded comment. It is just that your column touched a memory, and I wanted to share my experience.
Thank you for the comment, Terry.
Our beloved animals are with us always; we all have memories like that. The day they die, either suddenly with no chance of saying goodbye or the day we hear the words "it's terminal" and you know you'll have to witness the slow death. It sears our memory; we never lose those moments. And for me, I've had enough of those moments to never want it again.
I’m an ardent animal lover and somewhat of a masochist because of the seven cats and 2 dogs,five were oldsters who were dumped by callous adult children who were ok getting rid of departed mom/dad’s beloved dog/cat. Buttercup aka Butterz will be, we think, 16 soon. I rescued her in 2020 at age approx 11- a hoot of a loving Maltese Poodle Terrierish. We know going in we’ll outlive them. At least that’s the plan, and it stinks. It’s one reason I hate nature, with its mass murder proclivities and the giving and taking away of joy. Butterz will be my last pet.
Glag you"re on the mend, Dave. I have to echo your feelings on pets, though I'm not sure I could live without one. My concern is that they will outlive me, a terrible and undeserved fate for a faithful pet.
There’s nothing more vile than food poisoning. Gives me pause to how humans have managed to evolve and thrive considering hygiene practices up to even 50 years ago. Good god still perplexed how (some) Chinese restaurants stay open. (It’s a FACT so don’t come after me. - go look at the monthly LA Dept of Health listings to see the disproportionate number of Chinese restaurants being cited. I love Chinese food, tho I proceed with caution. ).
I will never understand the love for a food (raw fish) that smells like where it came from. I mean, a chicken doesn’t taste like a barnyard, a steak from a barn, but that’s me.
Anyway, really sorry, Dave. Why not hitch your wagon to Obamacare. I had to have it for two years. It was better than nothing.
xx
Sushi's unlike most other foods I love. I don't mind greasy, cheap burgers. To me, a burger loses something when you fancy it up, like "good restaurants" do. "Gourmet burgers?" Bah! Gimme something from a dirty grill. But sushi needs to come from a meticulously clean, reliable (pricey) place, or you're risking a lot. As I learned. Before the food poisoning, I used to take chances with sushi (one month in 1993, researching at the National Archives, I lived purely on mall sushi...in D.C.! Amazed I survived). There's only one sushi place around here I trust, and only two Chinese restaurants I trust (because yeah, nobody gets hit with closures like those guys).
Derb was saying in his latest Radio Derb that it wasn't until 1920 that the medical establishment paid attention to sterilization. Much as I hate to give WWI any credit, I suspect it was lessons learned in that conflict (i.e., huge numbers of wounded dying from infection) that led to medicos washing their hands.
Where I live, the Chinese restaurants hang dead chickens/other unknown animals near the entranceway so the customers can see them, and inspect them, I guess.
I went to a place like that once. I agree with the concept of fresh food but it has to be handled better than that!
I suggest something like the Wuhan market...
I didn’t get my first dog (George) until age 38, but quickly became one of those people who vastly prefer them to nearly all humans. So on May10, 2005, our second dog (Miles) left us after a year’s valiant fight with cancer, where we were taking him to OSU for a then experimental treatment. The next morning we were preparing to bury Miles, when about 7:00 my mother called saying my dad had fallen and been taken to the hospital via ambulance, status unknown. Turns out he fractured his neck, and died 6 days later. Thereafter, George went straight downhill and died three weeks later. Now, I’m 71 and probably on my last two dogs, and already have that vague feeling of dread in the back of my mind. Anyway, I’m sorry about the loss of your canine friend, but glad that you’ve bounced back from your medical issue. The least I can do is reimburse you for a round of high powered antibiotics.
Thank you so much for the beers, Brian, and I'm terribly sorry for the loss of Miles, George, and your dad. When things happen in a cluster like that, it can be unspeakably devastating. Dogs are just such wonderful animals. My last one arrived with the young lady who lived with me, and left with her two years later. In that time, I got yet another best buddy ever (the dog, not the girl), and I purposely don't check her social media because I don't want to know when he passes. It's the frustrating dog conundrum; so wonderful when they're here, so emotionally wrecking when they go.
Damn David! Your article made it sound like you'd had some kind of near-death religious experience over that M&M fiasco! Talking about God, and the Bible... and the Elephant Man! He really wasn't "an animal", but it reminds us to thank the Lord that we didn't end up as circus freaks, on display for a nickel and a box of Cracker Jacks!
I'm curious though... Since that "less than ideal" sushi put you off the stuff, what's your current stance on M&M's? (also, side question- Was a it a peanut M&M, or a normal one? Also, what color? That Red Dye #9 could have played a role, just sayin')
Well, as always, glad to hear you survived! I'm coming off two weeks of pneumonia myself, and I'm aligned with your philosophy- Unless death is imminent and certain, I'm not seeking "medical care". After the Covid death reimbursement scam, I'd rather go see a drunken veterinarian than a human medical doctor!
Totally switching gears, how closely are you tracking Candace Owen's "Becoming Brigette" reporting? Because if that one can be easily explained away, I'd love to hear it, because on it's face, it all sounds fishy as fuck!
Either way, Cheers Amigo!
It was an M&M peanut (don't recall the color). I've been advised not to eat anything "hard" for the next few weeks (insert gay joke here), so while I still HAVE a full bag of 'em, I'm not touching them regardless. Maybe I'll auction them off...Dave's "death candy."
Regarding a different Candy - Owens - I'm not following the Macron thing because I'm more obsessed with the L.A. Times' owner Soon-Shiong possibly bringing her on as a partner in a new Times digital venture. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde - the Times goes 25 years with no conservative commentary, and now it goes full Owens. Just goes to prove that you can never predict what a Chinaman will do.
I can see the headline in the Owens-Times: "MAN DOESN'T LAND ON MOON!"
LOL!!!!!!!!! I love that!
"DEWEY BEATS TRUMAN: JEWS TO BLAME?"
LOL!!!!
"The Juwes are the men who will not be blamed for nothing"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goulston_Street_graffito
This shit has been going on for a long time!
I don't know, but this sounds like an opportunity... Because if they are willing to bring on Candace, surely a certain David Cole has a shot! Say the word, and we'll start a grassroots campaign. "This Week in the City of Angels, by Hollywood Insider, David Cole"
She's Chinese, and they are famous for not giving a fuck about the Holocaust, so she might see it (your somewhat controversial past) as a selling point!
Get you a solid local side hustle, so you can pay some big booty Latina to chew your M&M's for you.
Just contemplating the "if's".
Yowsa, what an idea! How can we grass roots agitate for this?
Beats me man, I'm just an "idea man", execution isn't my forte...
ANN-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N!!!!!!!!!!! If there's anyone who knows how to get in touch with Patrick Soon-Shiong, it's Ms. C.!
I think I MAY be .1 inches taller than him!
You mean George Wentworth, his wife Ali being the talent in the family, esp. in Head Case, hilarious show about a shrink crazier than her celebrity guest patients---with Steve Landesberg unforgettable as Freudian psychiatrist Dr. Myron Finkelstein, who shares an office with Wentworth.
LOL! That would be a win-win!
I just left this comment on one of Ms. Coulter's Twitter posts:
Ms. Coulter, please consider contacting Patrick Soon-Shiong to get David Cole a perch on the LAT Next venture. Mr. S. is thinking about hiring Candace Owens, so why not court more rabid overreaction?
Thanks!
I’m in
Candace is not Chinese. She's very black
Candace so black, she only sucks astronomers.
(Get it? "Black hole." C'mon, cut me some slack; I've been ill)
She only sucks Degrassi Junior Tyson, cuz he’s the only black astronomer
Wait, what?
What! Are you sure? because her Mandarin is pitch perfect! Also, did you read Dave's response to understand what we are talking about here? "Candace is black"... yeah, I kind of guessed that much for myself. Also, she's not "very black", more like a very milk chocolate caramel, filled with nougat, and some nuts, and really hits the spot after a long hike on the Oregon Trail...
Of course it was a peanut M&M; elephants LOVE peanuts! Too bad it stuck in Dave’s tusk
LOL!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEFgS-LR0lo
LOL!!!!
A most excellent column you wrote for us Dave! Thank God your jaw didn't get all funky and fall off, one can never be too cautious while eatin' them damned M&M's. I have lost so many pets, friends, and family members in my 62 years of livin' on this here rock, I don't want to think about 'em all. Sometimes the memories cause me to get all sad, and then Dave writes some hilarious shit that makes me die laughing . . . all is well afterwards !!!
I appreciate that very much, my friend.
"We" appreciate you too, Dave! Have you heard about Mordechai Brafman of Florida? Week That Perished material for you.
You know me too well! The Brafman segment is already written for next weekend's Week!
LOL !!!!
Mordechai is a damn good name - shame the guy is meshuga.