121 Comments
Oct 6Liked by David Cole

If you find yourself losing the will to live remind yourself of the joy such a thing would bring your enemies and that refusing to die is the greatest fuck you/act of defiance you can possibly deliver to them. May you live to 100 my friend!

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You're a good friend, Mike, and I assure you, I've no desire to cash out. But man, I do like these brief intervals of "haziness."

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Oct 6Liked by David Cole

Never drive through water of an unknown depth. Unless someone dares you to, then you kind of have to.

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LOL!

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

I once saw a picture of an old moustacheod British man sitting alone at his kitchen table, dressed in his old gardening clothes and reading the newspaper with a cup of tea in front of him. Clearly working class and maybe a widower. The tea and paper seemed enough for him, at least preferable to being dead or strung up by his ankles in some torture cell in Ramallah. Made me think of Orwell out there on his lonely Scottish island at the end of his life. Perhaps people just need very low expectations from life, as Thomas Hardy advocates in his poem 'He Never Expected Much'. I'm not sure where the idea that life should be fun comes from. Maybe all those smiley TV presenters have fooled us into thinking that smiling like an idiot all day is normal behaviour. Just being conscious and not suffering is perhaps good enough.

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It sounds like he's retired. If all the smart people work in the garden and drink tea all day society falls apart. Some of them have to brave the tards to become doctors, nurses, cops etc or it all comes crashing down. Right now, there are DEI and other forces (I think a lot of it backed by Saudi money although of course I can't prove it) that are working very hard to keep sane people out of any job that has any impact. Medicine. Politics. Of course, the police services are being totally neutered. It's honestly an assault on the fabric of our society. We actually do need people to get up from the kitchen table or we will become an actual third world country.

There's a lot of rhetoric of these pro-Gaza woke-ass protestors on Twitter and TikTok "we're dismantling the colonizer from within, they destroyed the colonies now we destroy them!" Okay, so the plan is everything gets destroyed? Then who wins? China? If you look at how China treats Muslims and really any non-Han people? They're about 1000x worse than the West.

None of this makes any sense and everyone is afraid to say that.

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I largely agree with you but none of that relates to my comment about Dave losing the will to live. He wrote that he neither wants to be dead nor here. My thought was that he was feeling like others were having lots of fun while he gets through the day on alcohol. That's what I was commenting on. No Gaza, no China, no Wokeness.

You may be right that some of this is Saudi/Russia funded but this looks to me like we are going rotten from the inside rather than outside influences corrupting us. The trendy leftists who came of age in the 1960's became teachers and journalists and in a vicious circle the schools, universities and media have been staffed by ever more resentful people whose ideas just get weirder by the day in an attempt to outdo each other. Some kind of collapse is bound to come and then some awful alternative (China, Islam etc.) will step into the breach. Luckily I'll no longer be here to see that.

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All I can say, as a gardener, is it's been a good year for cucumbers!

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LOL!!!!

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Oct 6Liked by David Cole

"Gomer Pyle was executed for deviant sexual behavior, Otis the Drunk is doing hard labor, and Ernest T. Bass was “evacuated to the East.”" Post-stroke Floyd was declared a "useless eater" and euthanized.

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LOL!

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Opie joined the Hitler Jugund and starred in TRIUMPH OF THE FIFE.

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LOL!!!!!!

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Oct 6Liked by David Cole

Only thing I like about Kristofferson was Joe Flaherty's impression of him in the SCTV version of A Star is Born (especially the 'critters'): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPdnXVG_uD0&t=11s

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Kris Kristofferson’s beard could rope, hogtie, and have its way with Sam Elliott’s mustache, even in death

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Oct 6Liked by David Cole

I'm impressed that he did a movie worse than Heavens Gate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFwD6okL2l4

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LOL!!!!!! Yes, his movie track record is...questionable.

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Kristofferson was in Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, but Elliott was in Frogs, and Elliott’s mustache is Kristofferson’s beard’s bitch

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Both awfull films but fun to watch. The best part of Frogs is crabby old Ray Milland bitching about everyone and everything. It's just fun.

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I used to love such films, and they genuinely scared me. After Jaws there was a spate of them, of course. Grizzly, The Swarm, Orca, etc, and all cashed in on our fear of nature’s wrath, and sometimes of human meddling with nature. I was ready to fear The Night of the Lepus, but enjoyed laughing at it with my friends. My older brother went to a re-release of The Night of the Iguana highly deceived, and left disappointed. I could imagine Count Floyd showing TNOTI by mistake

Only two movies, that I know of, utilized what John Hodgman called the classic dramatic situation of All Animals vs All Humans: Frogs, and Day of the Animals

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Ay yi yi! Ain't it the truth? The guy could craft a great song though!

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Did Streisand purposefully sabotage Kristofferson's role and songs in A Star is Born in order to make sure he didn't outshine her? And will a posthumous Kristofferson memoir get released (there were stories he was working on one during the Covid lockdown)? What's his best movie role: maybe Blume in Love, in which he played a character who'd watched Gone with the Wind 40 times or so in movie theaters, and who broke into tears when he found out Susan Anspach was cheating on him with George Segal?

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Better Segal than Seagal.

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Yeah, can Seagal play the banjo? And maybe Jonathan Livingston Seagull is better than Seagal too?

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Some people say it was in The Sailor who fell from Grace with the Sea but I loved him in Pat Garret and Billy the Kid as Billy. I like his guest turn on the Muppet Show too. Rita Coolidge was co-host naturally. Didn't he star in a T.V. version of Stagecoach? I remember another stinker he made about the Soviets occupying the States called Amerika. Kinda dumb.

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How about Trouble in Mind (1985), directed by Alan Rudolph?

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With regards to black nazis, one is a schvartze-nazi, two or more are schvartze-nazim.

The Nation Magazine makes your point, Dave, with a piece titled ‘Why a “Black Nazi” Fit Right in With the Modern GOP’. They really are the stupid Party.

I second Mike Carroll’s text.

Switch to Jameson whiskey on the rocks with milk and a bag of Utz hard, dark pretzels.

Why does my phone not say am or pm?

Go to Settings and choose 24 hour clock

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Awe David, I love you buddy, you know, for probably a year or so now, I have felt the exact same way. Okay, I’m not entirely sure it’s EXACTLY the same, but my whole moving to the woods and stuff, is kinda based on what you are describing, but far more articulately than me, here, now! Haha! No, but seriously, I think I actually GET what you’re saying here, finally! (And a rare treat for me because a lot of shit you say and write is soooo over my fucking simple head!) in my own way, I like you, wanna not be here, but be here! I can totally relate and know exactly what you mean. I dunno what to do about it either, I can’t drink rum, but those woods and total isolation looks more appetizing by the day. Anyway, enough of My whining! Enjoy your haze when you can I say! I love the shit out of you Dave! I’ve always got your back! You just reach me anytime you please If you should ever need some cheering up!! I’ll even do a little stupid dance for ya! I’ll make one up! Haha! All my love, take care, and don’t fall down from the rum!

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Ash, you're so damn beautiful, your Facebook pics brighten my day, every time you post 'em. Especially knowing that you're a friend. I can look at those pics and be like, "that hot perfect kick-ass babe is my buddy!" I'm doing as much of this month as I can in a rum-stupor...and I'm genuinely not certain I can even do it for a month anymore. Getting old sucks. But the friendship of a beautiful woman makes anything and everything better. Love ya!

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Same reason I moved to the land of the swamps. I love rum but have to be responsible about my drinking as I care for an adult disabled son. Otherwise, I'd probably go through a lot more of it.

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Oct 6Liked by David Cole

Hilarious as usual!

Well done - a nose for news...ROTFLMAO!

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Here’s hoping that the great Ernest T survives the East, and even gets to visit his second favorite country - Iraq.

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Well now you know why I have ALL of my clocks set to 24 hour format.

As to not wanting to be here, I was obviously not meant to be born in 1962. I would have thrived would I had been born in 1162, in the steppes of Central Asia.

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Yeah, it is 03:31 and I'm sittin' around watchin' a trio of Mongolian women folk singers on YT. I am comparing their noses, I can't decide if I like Bolormaa's, Delgermaa's or Oyuumaa's nose better? Hell, I don't even know which one is which, WTF !!! Cued up to the best part:

https://youtu.be/Bov-Nd_IrMI?t=150

Any opinion Dave?

Yes, I really need to get help for my unusual affliction, Thanks in advance.

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Bless your heart, Dave. I had my wristwatch set to military time for just this reason until I retired and it became irrelevant.

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on another note entirely-- Dave- maybe make note of the Bridgerton Ball (in Dee-troyt!) I think cold fries would've been welcome compared to what was served!

This is what happened when you sell a bill of goods to a community that has nothing to do w/ said "bill of goods" !

'Bridgerton Ball' Fail Goes Viral, Sparking Memes And Mockery

Forbes

https://www.forbes.com › Lifestyle › Arts

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Oh my good lord. They scammed a bunch of sad single cat ladies who hang out at the library. That's SO evil. That's even worse than a normal scam. They were all like, "Perhaps I'll meet my prince tonight, as we listen to a string quartet play a gavotte!" And instead there was a stripper.

God what did the stripper think when she got there and saw all these cosplay types? It's AMAZING. Amazing and straight-up evil to rob a bunch of spinsters that way!

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

" ... well, let’s just say the town’s changed a bit ... " --- You didn't mention Floyd the Barber, he's still there - probably a snitch - watching all the goings-on through his coke-bottle glasses, sweaty, muttering "ohh ohhh OH."

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Hi Dave! I don't think I will be looking upon a cucumber with anything but disgust for some time.

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

In Dr. Alan Grant's voice: "Bet you'll never look at cucumbers the same way again."

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Absolutely! Dr. Grant warned us not to land! LOL

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Dave - in a pile of Cole there are always a few diamonds. That joke about Barbra Streisand's nose was first rate.

My guess is your post-election day column says Kamala wins, which is depressing as hell. Trump has gone downhill (let's say Death Valley to Dead Sea) in last 4 years, less energy, less sanity, less wit (he did have gift for slinging shit, now it just falls at his feet). Desantis would have beaten Trump in primaries it were not for Trump-picks doing so well in 2022 senate race.

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If DeSantis threw his hat into the ring for a write in campaign I truly believe he could take this. His slogan could be 'I'm comparatively sane.' Running mate? Anyone. Some bland Mormon; that governor of that one Dakota Trump passed over. Doesn't matter. If he has the sense to pick a stable white male running mate with no weird extreme views in either direction he can take it.

Harris/Walz: they're not great; they're not terrible. Trump fires the people around him because he needs to feel important. Kamala is lazy and just lets them do her job for her. Which is, regrettably, the better option right now. Walz is...fine. Walz is like, the first week of school you get to PE and you're relieved Walz is the gym teacher. "Oh he seems pretty normal he seems like a normal dude not a molester." Not very exciting, but not upsetting either. He can probably shake hands with King Charles or Keir Starmer without causing an international incident. Australia would probably give him an official rugby jersey. This could work.

Trump/Vance: Trump didn't follow through on his promises the first time. He's making even bigger promises now. He's promising mass deportations, when he couldn't even build a wall last time. He messed up most working people's taxes with his 'reforms,' including double taxing them at the State & Local level, and now he swears he'll fix it. I don't trust the guy. He clearly only wants to be president again so he & his awful children can access more Saudi money. Vance seems literally insane. Everyone I know IRL who's under 40 agrees on this: we all think he's a crazy person. A lot of otherwise smart people (Ann Coulter, Andrew Sullivan) think he's great. He seems VERY fragmented. He debates well, but that's all he can do; it's like his autistic superpower. He can't order coffee & donuts like a human being. He blamed his mom stealing pharmaceuticals on illegal drug cartels, which shows he can't accept reality when it's a touchy issue. Not a trait you want in the guy a heartbeat away from the presidency. He rails against ethnic people and promises mass deportations...while married to an ethnic woman. How does he square his 1st gen American wife from San Diego & their biracial children with his weird "bury me in the backyard by t'oak tree over yonder, ayuh." rural Americana schtick? It's very dissonant. Vance has a John List vibe. He doesn't remind me of a politician, he reminds me of family annihilators like List or Chris Watts; he always seems like he's about to snap. He's vaguely autistic; clearly in over his head; doesn't seem to know who he is or what his goals really are. Vance is the anti-Obama, as candidates go. All Trump had to do was pick some boring governor as running mate and he could've taken this. It'd be like, "Great, so his heart explodes after another week of McDonald's then we get someone sane who already ran a state." Instead he picked the craziest possible guy and it's hurting him.

People keep saying it's going to be close - I don't see that at all. I know one 70 year old woman planning to vote for Trump. Her cat "escaped" last week (walked out a window she left open. She is always saying she doesn't know why people "tell lies" about her (that she has a serious, obvious drinking problem). She's so scattered she'll probably forget election day and try to vote the following week. I just don't see it being close at all; I don't know anyone under 40 planning to vote for Trump. I will vote R for every local issue or office, and I may write in DeSantis for prez. I think Harris takes this in a landslide, she definitely will in my district. Trump is a shameful con artist & Vance needs a good shrink. Neither should be in the White House.

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Oct 7Liked by David Cole

Personally, I think Vance had a great debate. I would take DeSantis, but he is maintaining his dignity for the next cycle. Write in win rates are dismal.

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Oct 8Liked by David Cole

maybe the Trump would-be assassins were trying to get Vance to head of the ticket.

His debate was 100x better than Trump's. I guess I give T credit for picking Vance

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I think no one takes him seriously. He has no real experience, he couldn't win as a Presidential candidate.

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Oct 8·edited Oct 8

Eh he wasn't great. I'm also serious about the John List vibe, he's a weird, weird dude. I thought I wanted to be a litigator at one point and interned for a big firm after college. I know a lot of lawyers and they all came across as more "together" than he does. There are a lot of lies he's telling himself about really fundamental things, he's a mess of contradictions. "The ethnics are bad but not my ethnic woman. My children will never have a Kaepernick-level freakout about some of the things I'm saying on the campaign trail." "My mom was a victim of external forces. It was the drug runners' fault, she wasn't just a garden variety bad mom." "Being the running mate for the most volatile and dishonest presidential candidate in recent memory will be good for my career. Look what it's done for Mike Pence!"

If this was Reddit I'd set a RemindMe! for maybe 5 years from now. This guy's gonna snap, and snap in a big way. There's something very wrong there. The worst thing about that is it'll be the last time anyone takes a chance on a white guy with a bad background.

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I have to ask, Why are they lying about Vance?

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