This Week’s Column: Burning for the FACTS!

If you’re not willing to self-immolate to prove that zombie films are a CIA plot, you’re a cuck

Hey Folks,

Trying to make up for lost Twitter traffic, I’ll be sending out my weekly Takimag column here. If that doesn’t suit you, if you think that’s one email too many from ol’ Dave, go ahead and unsub now, because it’s gonna be a regular deal from now on.

To make it less rote, I’ll add a little extra commentary each week.

This week?

How the hell do these self-immolaters STAND for so long as they burn? The anti-Israel guy stoically stood for 45 seconds while fully engulfed; last Friday’s loon, almost 30 seconds.

The fuck? I burn my finger on a hot pan and I hop around the kitchen shrieking HOOP HOOP HOOP like a gibbon.

I ain’t no medical expert, but I guess the body goes into shock when fully engulfed. That, plus adrenaline, I’m assuming, is how these nuts can keep standing without hopping around in pain. Kind of like how a paper cut hurts worse than losing an arm. Or at least that’s what I was told by the hobo I dismembered back in ‘96.

Here’s this week’s column, about the CIA, the immolated guy, the FBI, and Tucker Carlson: https://www.takimag.com/article/the-rights-burnt-offerings/

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