94 Comments

Stealing a line from Terry Pratchett for your theme:

If you light a fire for a man, you keep him warm for a night. If you light a fire ON a man, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Expand full comment

LOL!!!!!!

Expand full comment

For once you can blame Rothchild for his death: he was the producer of "Light my Fire".

The hippies, as despicable as they were, knew it was a metaphor.

Expand full comment

I just can't understand why the guy couldn't just throw some tomato soup on the plexiglass encasing a priceless work of art. His way contributed to global warming, which we all know is bad since those kids with a can of soup convinced us.

Expand full comment

LOL!

Expand full comment

I really think, Dave, that you need to take about two years and write a history of how the Right opposition blew it (1990-present).

...naturally, being on the right, I’m trying to get money out of you as a research assistant for a project that we can plan for the next twenty years and write fifteen pages. If you’re as broke as I fear, we can both see about shucking the Cato or Heritage people - it’ll involve another name change for you, but maybe you could use the shakeup.

Expand full comment

Or...we could catch Ratibor and make a million bucks by breeding a lineage of super-intelligent rats.

Expand full comment

Hate to tell you, but Jeremy Boreing over at Daily Wire has a year's head start on that one.

Expand full comment

You'll never get a nickel out of Cato unless you frame it as a Libertarian moral fable, and you won't get even that out Heritage. No, if you want the easy money you need to hitch your star to a PAC that's good at stoking existential dread "just around the corner, unless you send us more money TODAY." I think the NRA might be more helpful here.

Expand full comment

Keep adding content, and I just might unsubscribe. This isn’t what I signed up for. Consider yourself warned!

Expand full comment

LOL!!!!

Expand full comment

Great handle, Porkins.

Expand full comment

During immolation, the pain receptors closest to the skin are immediately destroyed. That plus shock, and adrenaline, helps keep the pain in check. It's during recovery--if that happens--that the deeper receptors come into play, and the real agony begins.

Expand full comment

Ancient Chinese secret

Expand full comment

Yep! A few days ago I got obsessed with this question, and the fact that them dickbag monks made it seem like it was "zen," but it ain't Oriental magic, it's that the nerve endings get burned off quick, cutting off the pain receptors...so it ain't meditation, it's just science. Thankfully the two immolated guys died, because, yeah, it's during the recovery that the agony happens.

Expand full comment

Another great column. Kept thinking back to that video of a KGB agent describing tactics to demoralize a population that was making the rounds a few years back and how Tucker has unwittingly filled the role of useful idiot helping our enemies on the left accomplish just that.

Expand full comment

Thanks Mike! And yeah, Tuck is "useful idiot" defined.

Expand full comment

With all that gin, Dave, you probably wouldn't need to douse yourself with gasoline if you were to self immolate!

Expand full comment

Good thing he quit gin for a bit before he spontaneously combusts!

Expand full comment

Dude, I lit a cigar yesterday and broke wind. The explosion landed me in Burbank.

Expand full comment

I'm in Valley Village this week! I thought that was a flaming Boeing jet flying over!

Expand full comment

LOL!!!!!

Expand full comment

Dave is a gin rummy

Expand full comment

We need a return to normalcy in political discourse. It’s insane that anyone would self immolate over what Trump or the Clintons are doing. The truth is usually found in the middle, and the reasoned, sober voices of Mike Pence and Jim Costa are the only ones that could make me light myself up

Expand full comment

Pence! I loved that guy, he was so boring!

Expand full comment

🔥

Expand full comment

"At the moment in L.A., things look good for November regarding defeating George Gascon. His opponent, the law-and-order candidate, has a commanding lead in the polls. If that holds up..."

Dave ... I'm not entering any breath-holding contests on this one ... if there's one thing we both know well it's that Republicans surely know how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, especially in California. But still ... surely the Soros/Gascon turds are finally being fished out of the pool. God I hope so!

Expand full comment

My main worry is that because Soros isn't going to start pumping money into the race until August/September, any polls before that are meaningless. It's AFTER Soros puts a billion into the race that the polls will matter. I hope we can withstand it.

Expand full comment

That fucker Soros just doesn't make sense - unless he loves black people killing each other, so he puts lazy idiots in charge of DA offices, so they don't punish black people who kill other black people.

Expand full comment

Laura Loomer has become Shithead Zelig of the political world. Every time there's some whacky thing going on she's there getting her shiksa'd nose smacked in the middle of the pie fight.

Expand full comment

"Shithead Zelig!" Brilliant, Bill. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

Expand full comment

Ain't nothing in the world get David Cole more mad than some jive ass sucker dealing defeatism to the conservatives.

Expand full comment

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy-men, brother!

Expand full comment

Dave - Have you considered the possibility that the CIA engineered Ratibor to torment and enrage you and provoke you into saying something incendiary to a stupid asshole on X, inducing a ban?

Expand full comment

I'm open to that possibility!

Expand full comment

What's the latest on El Ratto?

Expand full comment

Speaking of Chris Loesch: Did you see he is the latest person to get attacked for proclaiming that Hitler was bad? I am reminded of what noted pro wrestling curmudgeon Ole Anderson one told Jim Cornette: "Jim, I used to think you were a dumb fuck but so many other dumber fucks have come along since you moved up the ladder without even trying!"

Expand full comment

LOL! True!

Expand full comment

So glad that you are happy away from X and can't wait for the next video. Speaking of film I saw a rare Emenegger drama on YouTube. It's the one with the sequins wearing aliens who sound like 70s Cylons called Laboratory. It's not good but it's watchable and I recognized an actor from Planet of Dinosaurs in it. What I was wondering is how low were his budgets? It looks as if he shot it on video. Even so he seemed to be able to get big names to act in or narrate his movies and I think one of his flicks was written by Spielberg's sister. Not sure.

Expand full comment

Yep! Laboratory had the Karate Kid guy in it too, Martin Kove, when he was just starting out. Guys like Emenegger know how to stretch a dollar. They reuse sets, call in favors, trade favors, and find actors looking for a day or two of undemanding work for a couple grand. Laboratory looks cheaper than the outer space films he did, because the location is basically just a floor of an office building. That saved some dough, which likely went to the actors. Also, when these low budget guys started switching to video, it saved a bundle. Before that, 70% of the budget always had to go to film stock.

Expand full comment

Oh, I had thought that was the guy from Dinosaurs which was a low budget stop motion matinee shot in Griffith Park. I looked him up on Imdb and it says Kove had small parts in Last House on the Left and Groove Tube. Two favorites. It says he also starred in a TV movie from 2004 called 'Creature: It's a Killing Machine...From Outer Space' which kinda has the same rhythm as your favorite "But Black Dynamite...I sell drugs to the community." It makes me wonder who it was who felt the title needed an explanation. "If only we could somehow convey to the audience that it's a creature...that is also a killing machine... and that it comes from space." Italians might have been responsible for that title.

Expand full comment

"Creature: It's a Killing Machine...From Outer Space" reminds me of the 1970s TV movie "Devil Dog - Hound of Hell." I always figured two network execs came up with two different titles for this film about a demon dog, and one exec was like "DEVIL DOG" and the other was "No, HOUND OF HELL" and they compromised by putting them both in the title, creating a glorious redundancy.

Expand full comment

Wasn't Alice Cooper in Devil Dog? under his real name of Vincent something?

Expand full comment

Vincent Damon Furnier. I checked IMDb, Mr. Furnier isn't listed in the cast and crew:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077429/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_cl_sm

Expand full comment

Now Carlson says evolution is not real. That's self preservation because you can't "evolve" into a retard if evolution ain't real.

Expand full comment

LOL!!!!

Expand full comment

Great column, Dave. Thanks. Also, I get when you say you're not missing X. I ran away as it has obviously become an echo chamber from the extremes of the right and the left, but expecially the former.

Expand full comment

Thanks my friend. And indeed, my blood pressure has gotten much better away from Elon's cesspool.

Expand full comment