157 Comments

“I shall read!” - David Christopher Cole

And thus, a star is born.

David, your video gave me a ray of sunshine on a rather dismal day here in the Lone Star State. In addition to the dating market being shitty, I was recommended by my therapist that perhaps I enjoy the gin way too much for an Anglo. So, ol’ Mikey is going sober. Looks like I’ll be drinking tomato juice the next time I hit the bar. Maybe it’ll help get my deadlift up at least.

Which reminds me. The next time I itch for a beer, maybe I should just buy you one instead.

As always, David, keep shining you crazy diamond.

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Love you, Mike! Thank you. Yeah - I'm more and more having to alternate drinking months with sober ones. Like I'm testing exactly how long the ol' liver needs to heal in-between poisonings. It's a dandy organ - maybe the best when it comes to regeneration (certainly better than that lazy BRAIN than loses cells and doesn't replenish them. Asshole brain!). But as I age, it needs more and more time off.

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I am not a religious man (anymore), but the liver is probably the closest thing to miraculous wonder that I’ve ever seen.

Speaking of, a question (and you can save this for your one of your next videos if you like, Dave), as time has changed, has your spirituality? I find as I age, the more cynical and secular I become. Even as a conservative. (as someone who was reared Catholic, Coulter’s message about Catholic conservatives throwing everything under the bus for pro-life rhetoric resonated with me).

What about you?

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Funny you ask that, Mike. It's something I'll be dealing with in an upcoming piece. I appreciate the question, and hope to address it well for you in a week or so!

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As a dedicated reader of the Sunday column, I was a bit surprised and disappointed to find it missing on Takimag. But I thought maybe Dave’s taking some time off or on vacation. Then I came to my senses (I had imbibed a bit too much of Kentucky’s finest on Derby day) and remembered that Dave never leaves his house, and, other than a bit of small game hunting, seems to do little else. So I’m sincerely hoping that we’re not adding Dave’s name to that of Goad and Derbyshire as great former contributors.

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When I find out what happened with The Week, you guys will be the first to know!

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Please let us know!! I'm busy working towards a deadline, and I didn't even notice- because I don't know what day it is!! I was thinking YOU were confused because "dude-it's NOT Tuesday!!"

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You didn't know what day it was-- but Dave was in your heart and in your soul!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1qxJPzjObI

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Dang! Is Jim Goad gone for good? I was hoping he was just on vacay

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Oh heavens, Jim's been gone since September 2020. He's at CounterCurrents now. He talked about his departure on his podcast, quite a while ago. I think you can find it on his Twitter.

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There's a vid interview out there where Goad and Derb both are being interviewed! But I didn't care for the interviewer so it kind of fizzled out for me.....

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The "insufferable" component seems pretty par for the adolescent male course. Actually, the kid in the clip does show a good comedic instinct. I'm sure I read you say somewhere that you hate stand-up comedy, which is funny, because you seem a natural fit in a lot of ways.

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Yeah, I think one of the reasons I hate stand-up is that I know the cliches inside/out and if I'm gonna pay money to see a show I want to see someone do something that I can't.

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Speaking of stand up and embarrassing 80s high school videos, when I was that age I taped a routine about tabloid headlines for my drama class; that was a hack bit even in 1982. God help me if that thing washes up.

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Thankfully, my old high school was wiped off the map by Katrina, so I think I'm safe.

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I like the Margaret Cho bit when she talks about a bar in Edinburgh named after Bette Midler's character in 'Beaches'.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTROyhkmRNM

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Kim after being rejected: "You'll be living with a rat! Waiting for the week to be over!"

THANK YOU for that flick, Dave :)

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I could watch these videos of Dave walking around LA all day. I enjoyed this little clip very much. On the other hand I was surprised for the lack of The Week That Perished which is a weekly must-read for me as well as many of the Branch Davidians. I hope something good is coming up at Takimag, otherwise, Dave should think of relocating to a nice manor in Asscrack, Montana.

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Dave is to the manner born!

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Other than the weather, wonderful mountains, and the scenery in the right places, I can see no reason to stay in California. But the last time I was there, I hiked from the Hollywood Reservoir to the Hollywood sign. Beautiful weather, beautiful trail, and friendly people all along the way. I doubt my politics and theirs would have merged let alone allow the friendliness to continue, but it never came up.

If a way were ever found to kick out all the liberals, lower the population, and permit free speech, California would be heaven on earth.

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I was in Sunnyvale for two years when I was in the air force, '92-'93-- even had a great Chi-Am girlfriend 8 years my junior (Amy H. Louison, she lives in San Fran now, I think). But I was an idiot, like Dave with the blonde girl, and I threw it all away....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW1jliOJ1dA

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David once mentioned how he enjoyed the liveliness of California where you meet interesting people and get to rub shoulders with both politicians and movie people. If he moves to the plain state he’ll be a complete stranger living next to ordinary folks.

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Great thread! Yes, in terms of climate, L.A. County is heaven. And if you stick to Beverly Hills, you're not gonna meet a lot of woke septum-pierced loons. You'll meet a bunch of super-intelligent whites, Jews, and Persians (and a few who see themselves as all three combined). I stay in L.A. because in my off hours I ONLY want to talk movies. I HATE, DESPISE talking politics. I want to discuss acting, and writing, and film editing. So that's why I'd never move to Montana or Wyoming. Yes, with what I'd make selling my house in today's market, I could buy an entire city block in Asscrack Montana. But then what? If I get lucky and meet a wannabe actress bim, my advice to her would be to move to L.A., so I'd have to send her away.

This is my town, my biz. I was born here, I'll die here. If we can defeat Gascon and Soros, that proves this place is still salvageable. And that's really all I want from this fucked up election year.

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You were blessed to be born there--- I was born in Massachusetts, where there's winter 8 months of the year. Alas, once a Masshole, always a Masshole....

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and Dave I've been thinking about subscribing to Taki, but if you go--- NO WAY!! You can quote me on that!! I'd rather put my money in buying you a beer!

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My loyal reader friends are what keep me going!

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aww shucks! It's reciprocal Dave!!

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I agree, Dave is the shining star at Taki's, none of the other writers come close (although I do love Anthony Daniels and his alter ego Theodore Dalrymple).

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Me too! I didn't know that was his "nom de plume"!

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Yeah, he wrote one on Marxist hellhole countries that looks great, it's scarce and expensive like Dave's book:

https://www.abebooks.com/book-search/isbn/9780091741532/

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Without The Week That Perished, I, like the most-beloved Ratibor, shall perish as well…

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TWTP for May 5, 2024 is up!

https://www.takimag.com/article/the-week-that-perished-292/

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Wait, it wasn’t up before? Was there a delay or did I miss it?

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Yeah, it didn't get posted until Tuesday.

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Hi David! Thanks for dropping us a line. That segment of the video rather reminds me of my luck with relationships. Everyone I approach has no idea what I am talking about and just wishes I would move along...quickly. This condition does have its upside. I don't have to share my liquor, my phone hardly ever rings, and there is no one to make commentary whilst I watch my movie of choice. I'm 55, onery, and demand all comers to stay off my damn lawn and most certainly away from my door!

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LOL!!!! Thank you, my friend. That made me laugh.

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Dave, I know it's practically impossible to live with another person--- but why not get a gal pal who is maybe A REALLY GOOD COOK; who lives nearby so you can pop over to her place FOR MEALS; whose grandkids you can watch WHILE SHE GOES OUT TO BUY FOOD; etc. If you're not demanding fashion-model gorgeousness, the women are dangling from the trees waiting to be picked. Check out FetLife, you can find "a little bent but not breaking" femmes by geographical area:

https://fetlife.com/

Remember, every man has a woman who loves him-- just say yes to her already!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieB1uvP3Uak

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"But Black Dynamite, I'm demanding fashion-model gorgeousness."

Dude, I've had a fine life with some of the most beautiful femmes on earth. And even THEN, I never wanted to get too close to them. I don't want companionship. Some humans are like that. I only like sleeping alone. Are their downsides? Of course. If I fall and crack my skull, I'll bleed out slowly and die a tortured death and it'll be weeks before anyone notices I'm gone. But as Phil Hartman found out, the "fashion model wife and two wonderful kids" thing has downsides too.

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If I end up single, G-d forbid, I'll look for a woman my age who has her own place nearby--- it's too hard to live with someone, esp. at an older age when you've got your stuff set up exactly the way you want it. But I still need a helpmeet, someone to prep good meals, provide a warm bed I can crawl into once a week or so, etc. And luckily there's lotsa older women out there who want the same thing too. Physical beauty isn't really an issue for me; I'm a dogface myself, ultimately we all are: even the beauties eventually end up old and ugly. But like Ben Franklin said, all cats are grey in the dark....

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May 7Edited

When I didn't see your column this morning, I was honestly concerned something had happened to you. I thought maybe in a drunken stupor you tripped and fell into a vat of leftover rat poison. I realize that might still happen but at least you're all right for the time being.

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I genuinely appreciate your concern! I've no idea why this week's Week got buried, but I think we all got a few laughs out of the situation, which makes it okay.

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Yeah, like Letterman's hosting of the Oscars-- as Bruce Vilanch said, he bombed but he got a decade's worth of "Late Night" jokes out of it....

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Now it's up!

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Yeah, but, like in the second-tier sidebar position! Poor little guy never got a home page slot!

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Rat murder karma?

I’m just thinking aloud…

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LOL!

Rips shirt, stares skyward...'RATIBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Coming this fall from Grindhouse-

“Ben Two, Home Invasion” this time it’s personal!

Picking up after the cliffhanger ending to “Ben”, we see our beady eyed antagonist scurry off to scenic Beverly Hills, California, but not to become a star of stage and screen- no! Ben has a more nefarious plan… Home Invasion!

Driven by an insatiable blood lust for Cheez-it’s, Ben stalks an innocent suburban neighborhood, looking for his victim. Drawn by such innocent items, such as poorly manicured trees, stopped up kitchen sinks, and the scent of some garbage sludge, spilled near a trash can at the curb (which we never got any resolution to), he has found his target, and now, his reign of terror truly begins…

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"Ben, the two of us need look no more...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewVWdAp0HLs

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It sure takes you back, 'eh? In a way, these things force us to go back to the head space we had at the time, not knowing what would happen in the future, and allows us to see the moments, as they were, versus how we now view them through the long lens of everything that came after. Like when Olivia Newton-John did the song "Let's Get Physical", and it was considered pretty racy... now, it's about as wholesome as can be.

If I may quote the great Ian Anderson- "Life's a Long Song"

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LOL!!!!!

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Oh God you just gave me an idea: someone needs to do that AI thing to create that epic Ratibor metal song to make a Tears In Heaven style song for Ratibor.

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O Brave new world that has such AI in it.

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Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

The origin of the phrase is unclear, but it is most commonly attributed to the book Don Quixote written by Miguel Cervantes in the early 1600s. Source: theidioms.com

Taki has what, almost 30 years on you, spars with guys half his age in judo and still manages to drink like fish on occasion (probably not rum)

Hopefully this will be a glitch, and I’ll be the first to admit a pang of withdrawal on Sunday morning and some passing concern (did he fall through the hole in the bathroom floor he didn’t want his beaner to fix??)

But c’mon Dave, you’ve turned down two unsolicited invitations from publishers (are there more you haven’t mentioned?)

You are meant for bigger and better. May this light the fire under your ass.

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Thanks Martin! But honestly, there's "lowball offer I can countenance" and "lowball offer that makes me yell like Ralph Kramden GET OUT! GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!" Yes, I BADLY want to republish my old book and write another one. But I just can't do it for pennies. I know myself too well. Respectful wages will make me work harder. And better. Because, you know, I always have rum, a bed, and my reboot of the Kim episode, should I need an escape.

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Oh man! That video is hilarious! It’s also, kind of remarkable, because so many of your current mannerisms are visible even in that short clip.

Cheers!

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Dude, and that's just the first few minutes of hour one. By hour three, I'm REALLY off the rails! Full-on Dave.

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Please, consider uploading the whole thing! Maybe you can use the promise of it to get a lot of beers bought! I know I'd pay!

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I may just!

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You just needed a good smack to the face, my dude. Bullies are actually evolutionary mechanisms of correction. They detect the odd balls and punish them, so that the odd balls can fall back in line with the crowd. Bullies see those who are prideful but not deserving of pride, and they punch the pride out of them. Western civilization began to fall the moment we started to demonize bullies, coincidence? I think not.

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Problem was, I actually WAS the bully back then. Not due to physical strength (of course) but sheer force of personality and all the hot chicks who liked me (there's a part later in the video when the chicks show up, and all of a sudden I'm Heffner). I bullied my cameraman that entire day. He knew we were hired to do a "serious" video, but I kept making it more and more "Letterman remote segment" as the day went on. And he begged me to stay serious, especially once the mayor arrived, and I refused, even though I knew I may be costing the guy a paycheck.

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In that case, you're like the leader of a pack whose position on the hierarchy was never challenged by a formidable alpha. If I remember correctly, a guy in high school tried bullying you. He kicked or shoved your back. But then the black students, i. e. those on the lower levels of the hierarchy, quickly rushed to your defense like peasants defending their king, like followers defending their leader. Life is funny.

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Thank you for remembering that! Yes, it was junior high, and a Ricky Schroder-looking mofo kicked me in the stomach, and he paid a hefty price and became a friend because being my enemy back then was too risky. Getting buff at the gym is great. Learning how to command a room is better, if you're interested in something more than flexing.

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Ah, I got some minor details wrong. My 85 IQ kicked in yesterday!

What I find fascinating about Jews is that they tend to dominant the intellectual side of things, but rarely do you see a gymbro Jew like Lex. This must be some kind of evolutionary trade-off. Muscles are traded for brains, and you're a good example of that trade. Meanwhile when you look at other stocks, like the blacks, it seems brains were traded for muscles. Football and boxing comes to mind. God, I swear, racism just makes everything make sense lol

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Man, I was worried when TWTP didn't show up in Takimag this morning. I know you have health issues and I feared that you had jumped the twig or been hospitalized. So as skimpy as this substack is I am awfully glad to see it.

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I appreciate your concern, genuinely. And hey - this Substack gets more robust every day!

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But remember, if it gets any robuster, I can, and will, unsubscribe!

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You asked for honesty. I probably would have slapped the living shit out of you. Back then. More honesty: Today is my birthday and that video was the highlight. Pretty pathetic, you may have met your match. I am loving the David Cole o.d. Please don't stop.

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I really appreciate that, Sandy! Thank you.

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Specifics, please. You appreciate my honesty? My being pathetic? My overdosing? All of the above?

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I appreciate your support! And honesty. And the rest! Even you slapping the living shit out of me. I would've needed that back then.

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You might have enjoyed it. As for support, mine is undying and unwavering.

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I'm genuinely thankful for the support, and quite certain you're right about the slapping!

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Hell, I'll come slap you around a bit now if you want. I obviously have nothing better to do. Not much to do in my quiet little corner of South Jersey.

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He thinks you're funny!

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