A fun anecdote from another Dave, about another Dave: David Spade on turning down David Bowie's 'SNL' sketch request, from Spade's memoir 'Almost Interesting':
[On an episode hosted by Macaulay Culkin in 1991] I finally developed my encounter with Patrick Swayze's publicist into a sketch. The germ of the idea was that the assistant to the celebrity is always more important than the celebrity in Hollywood. The assistant has the keys to the kingdom. If you want to talk to the famous person, you have to get through them first.... I didn't know how to frame the sketch or who I was going to play yet---publicist, agent? I finally landed on personal assistant. Then I needed a setting. I decided on a waiting room of an office where the assistant would be alone with the people waiting to meet a "very important person," and where he could privately pull his power trip. I didn't know who to make the star but I thought it was funnier to make them someone less obvious. For some reason I chose Dick Clark . . . and I still don't know why. I must have just seen him on "New Year's Rockin' Eve" or some bullshit that year and decided that he was a guy not as powerful as say, Jeffrey Katzenberg or some studio head, so it would be that much more frustrating if his assistant was talking down to someone.
This is the week I made my move to do my own sketch, writing myself into the lead. To give myself an even better shot, I decided to try using the musical guest. David Bowie was appearing on the show that week with his band Tin Machine (remember them?). I knew Bowie had acted before and I figured he'd be perfect because . . . well, he's DAVID BOWIE and therefore unbelievably famous. It would be a hilarious scenario if Bowie couldn't get in to see Dick Clark because of some asshole assistant. I wrote something up where David Bowie comes into the office and I, as the receptionist, stop him and make him explain to me who he is, why I should know him, list his credits . . . and ultimately not let him in. I would even make him sing. I typed this up (well, the typing girls did) and gave it to the talent department and they told me, "We will try to get this to David Bowie . . . " And I waited. And waited. The next day I came in and there was a lone message in my tiny little mailbox written on yellow NBC letterhead that said, "You missed a call from: David Bowie." My heart stopped. I missed a call from my musical hero. The return number was a Boston hotel with a fake name.
I remember I didn't call him up until I was alone in my apartment and I had all my balls up. I couldn't do it in the office for fear of saying the wrong thing and having Farley or Sandler bust my chops or, worse yet, interrupt me. I nervously poked at the keys on the old-school push-button phone in my house (beep . . . boop . . . beep beep . . .). I asked for his room and . . . David Bowie answered. I hadn't planned what to say. I was just winging it. Luckily, he was very nice. "David, I read your sketch, it's hilarious. I have to do this." I got an instant shot of adrenaline. He said, "I come back tomorrow so let's rehearse this and get it going." "Great! This will be really fun!" In my head I am thinking, I can't believe I'm going to have a sketch, that I wrote, on 'Saturday Night Live' WITH DAVID BOWIE. Then came the bombshell. "Just one thing . . . I want to play the receptionist, so who do we get to play me?" My heart stopped . . . Oh fuck, what? . . . Wait . . . what? Shit, what was I going to do? I was hoping to get a sketch on that I felt could help me finally gain some footing. What do I do? I can get a sketch on right now and gain some ground at work or keep waiting and try to get it going with a future host. I took the latter. I explained to DAVID BOWIE that the receptionist was a character I wanted to own, like Wayne from 'Wayne's World', and that I wanted to build him over multiple shows---and therefore I couldn't just hand it over. He then said, "Well, it's not fun playing myself." I could tell he was a bit annoyed, and I knew he was when he told me he had to go and hung up the phone. I was stunned. I couldn't believe that I had been able to talk to David Bowie, and then within four minutes piss him off enough to hang up so fast.
I just did a week sober. My body always tells me when I need to quit for a while. The thing that separates me from the REALLY hopeless drunks is that I do quit when I "feel" it. Gotta be kind to the liver and give it time to heal.
Did you know saying Hitler was bad isn’t the only thing Alex Jones got right this week: Mrs Piggy filed for divorce from Kermit after she walked in on him giving Nick Fuentes a blowjob.
Face it, Dave. You're a boundary pusher. You revel in the forbidden. Touching on the holocaust made you a political liability, and you knew it, hence, Stein. Anymore, few admire those who weave proper insults with unvarnished truths. Coupled with your past, you prod the hypocritical gatekeepers to reveal their hand. They win the hand, but you win the game. Keep up the good work. Your true followers will find you.
Was the word Holocaust used before it was used to describe nazi extermination camps? Curious about the origins of the term and what context it was used in if it was in use prior to WW2.
Well, after WWII it was first used to describe the potential of worldwide global nuclear war. In 1964, both Goldwater and LBJ used the term "nuclear holocaust" during their campaigns. In the '50s and '60s the term was 100% identified with nuclear destruction. In the '70s, it drifted over to what had previously been called "the Final Solution."
Give up Dave. The Rat won. Make friends with him. Make him a pet. He could sit on your shoulder when you do videos. Just make sure he isnt carrying any plague fleas.
This morning, while walking my doggie, Miss Magpie, at a local public park, I was verbally bombarded by a 30-years-old 'woke' incel, in a crayola-green teenage mutant ninja t-shirt, ( A definite chick-magnet shirt. ), designer-style denim culottes, socks-&-sandals, chain-smoking tobacco, ( Making him stink like a 'Vegas lounge in the original 'Ocean's Eleven' era. ), driving an electric FIAT car designed by Gucci, ( Pretentious? Much? ) The car was littered with dozens of fast-food wrappers. Thus explaining why he is three-times his natural weight, or he is one of the Bidenomics pregnant males.
Some of things 'woke' incels have in common are a complete lack personality, an extensive vocabulary of clechés, making a Mynah bird sound Shakespearean, a complete lack of a sense of humor, overwhelming tobacco/fast-food abuse issues & looking for any reason to be violent.
Thankfully, as I've some acquaintance with body language & vocal/facial signals & I could see he was looking for someone to punch-out. I immediately removed myself from that 'problem looking for a place to happen' presence & moved along with a group of people doing their après Tai chi exercise walk.
What is bothering me & prompted this letter, is this is the first time in my life I've ever thought, about any people, that they're hopeless, lost & beyond any redemption. Something very rotten has gotten into people & I'm not sure if any amount of psychiatric counseling will clean-up the emotional wreckage. I think they lack the willingness to live the examined life that is necessary to accept the improvement brought about by psychiatric counseling. This is the first time in my life I've ever thought that those people won't survive & grow from this swamp they're in. They're drowning & don't realize it. They make me, almost, miss hippies. At least hippies were open to interesting conversations, had a sense of humor, read interesting books & were familiar with poetry.
Hi, David. Sorry to learn that you are banned from Twitter. I was hoping that Mr. Musk meant it when he said he bought Twitter so that it would be a free speech platform. Instead of being a free thinker himself, looks like Mr. Musk is too much of a fad follower to handle the Real McCoy like yourself. And it looks like Twitter is devolving into an echo chamber again, but this time with a different judas goat the sheep are following.
I remember seeing you on the Phil Donahue show and am sorry that challenging the orthodoxy put you in such great danger and still continues to wreak havoc in your life. It's really too bad that more people don't share your curiosity and sense of enquiry to get the true facts rather than always try to interpret the evidence to fit their paranoid theories.
Anyway, I really enjoy the insights you offer in your columns and wish that the Republicans would hire you as a political advisor. It seems to me that if you were advising the GOP instead of Karl Roverrated, the country wouldn't be having these problems.
Thank you for trying to talk some sense into the Right. You probably feel like John the Baptist prophesying to no avail in the desert, but where this fan is concerned, your efforts are not going unnoticed.
Dave, as someone who punished their liver through many years of drinking. I recommend squeezing one lemon into a glass of water and drinking it after waking up. Fresh lemon juice is like a sanitizer for the liver and will probably help with the gout too.
Here's a great "why conservatives always lose" item: The Oklahoma State Athletic Commission is threatening a pro wrestling promotion (AEW) with sanctions over using a trans wrestler (Nyla Rose) in a women's match. As anyone with an above room temperature IQ knows pro wrestling is not an actual athletic contest (it being under the auspices of an athletic commission is itself somewhat dubious but that's another story). The issue of not allowing trans women to compete in actual athletic contests against actual women is something that most people understand and support. But to enforce this on what is essentially a stage performance makes conservatives look completely stupid and senselessly cruel. They have thus taken a winning issue and senselessly turned it into a negative because they are idiots.
Agreed . Pro wrestling is fake . I knew that when I was about 5 years old .
So in this fake pro wrestling match a trad Christian woman wrestler could defeat any evil Trannie Lib Demorat actor . That should be entertaining in Oklahoma .
> Churchill was a snake, to be sure, but his deceitful orchestration of a war over Poland
You definitely lose me there. Hitler in 1938 signed the Munich Pact in complete cynicism, with no intention of following it. He took the Sudetenland when Chamberlain gave it to him, but occupied Czechia less than 6 months later. As soon as that happened, Poland was irreversibly resolved to not make any similar deals over Danzig. An agreement over Danzig similar to Munich could easily have resulted in a German occupation of Poland 6 months later, as occurred with Czechia in March 1939. Poland tightened its stance over Danzig, and Chamberlain was obligated to declare his support for Poland in order to erase the embarrassment over Munish. None of that was orchestrated by Churchill (or by Roosevelt, another favorite target).
Sure, Churchill was hoping for another war to erase the embarrassment over Gallipoli. But like Roosevelt, he mostly just took advantage of some sweet circumstances which were handed into his lap by Hitler. If the Munich Agreement had been respected, with no advance into Czechia in March 1939, then Chamberlain would almost certainly have supported Hitler's calls for a new arrangement over Danzig. For that matter, it's plausible that Jerzy Potocki, the Polish ambassador in Washington, would have done the same.
I remember how back in the '80s Weber published a set of messages from Potocki which showed a very anti-Roosevelt attitude. Weber tried to suggest that these messages implied that Roosevelt was behind the outbreak of war. But what they actually showed was that the Polish ambassador was sounding pro-Hitler right up until the occupation of Czechia.
So, Churchill and Roosevelt were both glad when Hitler handed them a war on a silver platter, but that's about all one can say. Even the attempts by Roosevelt to sell stories about Hitler threatening Latin America were treated very skeptically by the media. It wasn't like 2002 when the Bush administration was given a good reception for its stories of Iraqi WMDs. If Hitler had not honestly appeared to be on the verge of completely overrunning Europe in July 1941, there would have been no way for Roosevelt to renew the peacetime draft on August 12, 1941.
You should see if you can find somebody local that has some ferrets; They are first rate rat hunters, and should make quick, entertaining work of your pesky nemesis!
Agreed, and you could make an argument that in the absence of the HRE, Europe would have taken a lot longer to find its way. The primary difference, though, between the Greco-Roman world and the Germanic Medieval world was the Greeks and Romans understood and applied violence but it did not constitute what they considered sublime. The Germanic political culture rested entirely on the warrior elite who only exercised authority inasmuch as they were able to lead other warriors in battle. Their ability to fight and subjugate others was the basis for their wealth and status. That's why Medieval political org charts resembled organized crime syndicates more than what we would consider "governments" today.
My goodness you do seem to be troubled these days. One wimpy, whining, wooSS of a Nazi complains, and BOOM, Musk permabans ya !!! A pet rat, that inspired a rockin' anthem, maybe you could do another one about bilateral gout ? I wonder if I posted my first and possibly only video on YouTube of me dying laughin' at something you said, or did, would that get me banned from YT too ?
A fun anecdote from another Dave, about another Dave: David Spade on turning down David Bowie's 'SNL' sketch request, from Spade's memoir 'Almost Interesting':
[On an episode hosted by Macaulay Culkin in 1991] I finally developed my encounter with Patrick Swayze's publicist into a sketch. The germ of the idea was that the assistant to the celebrity is always more important than the celebrity in Hollywood. The assistant has the keys to the kingdom. If you want to talk to the famous person, you have to get through them first.... I didn't know how to frame the sketch or who I was going to play yet---publicist, agent? I finally landed on personal assistant. Then I needed a setting. I decided on a waiting room of an office where the assistant would be alone with the people waiting to meet a "very important person," and where he could privately pull his power trip. I didn't know who to make the star but I thought it was funnier to make them someone less obvious. For some reason I chose Dick Clark . . . and I still don't know why. I must have just seen him on "New Year's Rockin' Eve" or some bullshit that year and decided that he was a guy not as powerful as say, Jeffrey Katzenberg or some studio head, so it would be that much more frustrating if his assistant was talking down to someone.
This is the week I made my move to do my own sketch, writing myself into the lead. To give myself an even better shot, I decided to try using the musical guest. David Bowie was appearing on the show that week with his band Tin Machine (remember them?). I knew Bowie had acted before and I figured he'd be perfect because . . . well, he's DAVID BOWIE and therefore unbelievably famous. It would be a hilarious scenario if Bowie couldn't get in to see Dick Clark because of some asshole assistant. I wrote something up where David Bowie comes into the office and I, as the receptionist, stop him and make him explain to me who he is, why I should know him, list his credits . . . and ultimately not let him in. I would even make him sing. I typed this up (well, the typing girls did) and gave it to the talent department and they told me, "We will try to get this to David Bowie . . . " And I waited. And waited. The next day I came in and there was a lone message in my tiny little mailbox written on yellow NBC letterhead that said, "You missed a call from: David Bowie." My heart stopped. I missed a call from my musical hero. The return number was a Boston hotel with a fake name.
I remember I didn't call him up until I was alone in my apartment and I had all my balls up. I couldn't do it in the office for fear of saying the wrong thing and having Farley or Sandler bust my chops or, worse yet, interrupt me. I nervously poked at the keys on the old-school push-button phone in my house (beep . . . boop . . . beep beep . . .). I asked for his room and . . . David Bowie answered. I hadn't planned what to say. I was just winging it. Luckily, he was very nice. "David, I read your sketch, it's hilarious. I have to do this." I got an instant shot of adrenaline. He said, "I come back tomorrow so let's rehearse this and get it going." "Great! This will be really fun!" In my head I am thinking, I can't believe I'm going to have a sketch, that I wrote, on 'Saturday Night Live' WITH DAVID BOWIE. Then came the bombshell. "Just one thing . . . I want to play the receptionist, so who do we get to play me?" My heart stopped . . . Oh fuck, what? . . . Wait . . . what? Shit, what was I going to do? I was hoping to get a sketch on that I felt could help me finally gain some footing. What do I do? I can get a sketch on right now and gain some ground at work or keep waiting and try to get it going with a future host. I took the latter. I explained to DAVID BOWIE that the receptionist was a character I wanted to own, like Wayne from 'Wayne's World', and that I wanted to build him over multiple shows---and therefore I couldn't just hand it over. He then said, "Well, it's not fun playing myself." I could tell he was a bit annoyed, and I knew he was when he told me he had to go and hung up the phone. I was stunned. I couldn't believe that I had been able to talk to David Bowie, and then within four minutes piss him off enough to hang up so fast.
More on this incident:
https://ew.com/tv/snl-david-spade-refused-david-bowie-role-swap/
I haven't read Spade's book, so this was new to me. Great anecdote! Thanks!
I hear there's an opening in Alcoholics Anonymous, for a smart Jewish guy who doesn't take crap off people.
I just did a week sober. My body always tells me when I need to quit for a while. The thing that separates me from the REALLY hopeless drunks is that I do quit when I "feel" it. Gotta be kind to the liver and give it time to heal.
RE: Today's Taki. If the rightist loons can only do the same to their brain.
Alex Jones is being ratioed and denounced on Twatter right now for expressing the highly controversial idea that
*checks notes*
Hitler was bad.
Alex Jones as the sane and rational person in an argument was definitely something I didn't have on my bingo card.
Yeah, I saw that too! Monday's column's already done, but I might mention that in another week. Fascinating development, indeed!
Did you know saying Hitler was bad isn’t the only thing Alex Jones got right this week: Mrs Piggy filed for divorce from Kermit after she walked in on him giving Nick Fuentes a blowjob.
LOL!!!!
Face it, Dave. You're a boundary pusher. You revel in the forbidden. Touching on the holocaust made you a political liability, and you knew it, hence, Stein. Anymore, few admire those who weave proper insults with unvarnished truths. Coupled with your past, you prod the hypocritical gatekeepers to reveal their hand. They win the hand, but you win the game. Keep up the good work. Your true followers will find you.
Thank you, Bill!
Was the word Holocaust used before it was used to describe nazi extermination camps? Curious about the origins of the term and what context it was used in if it was in use prior to WW2.
Well, after WWII it was first used to describe the potential of worldwide global nuclear war. In 1964, both Goldwater and LBJ used the term "nuclear holocaust" during their campaigns. In the '50s and '60s the term was 100% identified with nuclear destruction. In the '70s, it drifted over to what had previously been called "the Final Solution."
Give up Dave. The Rat won. Make friends with him. Make him a pet. He could sit on your shoulder when you do videos. Just make sure he isnt carrying any plague fleas.
Allowing trannyNazis to post while banning Dave is a denial of justice.
Elon should be better than that!
Amen!
David it's not Ratibor!!!! https://pagesix.com/2024/04/19/gossip/rat-seen-scurrying-on-video-at-nycs-balthazar-with-keith-mcnally-claiming-mice-were-unleashed-in-his-restaurant-after-lauren-sanchez-diss/?utm_source=url_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site%20buttons&utm_campaign=site%20buttons
Close encounters of the 'woke' kind.
This morning, while walking my doggie, Miss Magpie, at a local public park, I was verbally bombarded by a 30-years-old 'woke' incel, in a crayola-green teenage mutant ninja t-shirt, ( A definite chick-magnet shirt. ), designer-style denim culottes, socks-&-sandals, chain-smoking tobacco, ( Making him stink like a 'Vegas lounge in the original 'Ocean's Eleven' era. ), driving an electric FIAT car designed by Gucci, ( Pretentious? Much? ) The car was littered with dozens of fast-food wrappers. Thus explaining why he is three-times his natural weight, or he is one of the Bidenomics pregnant males.
Some of things 'woke' incels have in common are a complete lack personality, an extensive vocabulary of clechés, making a Mynah bird sound Shakespearean, a complete lack of a sense of humor, overwhelming tobacco/fast-food abuse issues & looking for any reason to be violent.
Thankfully, as I've some acquaintance with body language & vocal/facial signals & I could see he was looking for someone to punch-out. I immediately removed myself from that 'problem looking for a place to happen' presence & moved along with a group of people doing their après Tai chi exercise walk.
What is bothering me & prompted this letter, is this is the first time in my life I've ever thought, about any people, that they're hopeless, lost & beyond any redemption. Something very rotten has gotten into people & I'm not sure if any amount of psychiatric counseling will clean-up the emotional wreckage. I think they lack the willingness to live the examined life that is necessary to accept the improvement brought about by psychiatric counseling. This is the first time in my life I've ever thought that those people won't survive & grow from this swamp they're in. They're drowning & don't realize it. They make me, almost, miss hippies. At least hippies were open to interesting conversations, had a sense of humor, read interesting books & were familiar with poetry.
Men who would have gotten some decent job in the past, but are otherwise below average, don't get shit these days.
They are angry. With nothing to really live for, they might seek to destroy others.
Hence, the reason we have jails.
Hi, David. Sorry to learn that you are banned from Twitter. I was hoping that Mr. Musk meant it when he said he bought Twitter so that it would be a free speech platform. Instead of being a free thinker himself, looks like Mr. Musk is too much of a fad follower to handle the Real McCoy like yourself. And it looks like Twitter is devolving into an echo chamber again, but this time with a different judas goat the sheep are following.
I remember seeing you on the Phil Donahue show and am sorry that challenging the orthodoxy put you in such great danger and still continues to wreak havoc in your life. It's really too bad that more people don't share your curiosity and sense of enquiry to get the true facts rather than always try to interpret the evidence to fit their paranoid theories.
Anyway, I really enjoy the insights you offer in your columns and wish that the Republicans would hire you as a political advisor. It seems to me that if you were advising the GOP instead of Karl Roverrated, the country wouldn't be having these problems.
Thank you for trying to talk some sense into the Right. You probably feel like John the Baptist prophesying to no avail in the desert, but where this fan is concerned, your efforts are not going unnoticed.
Dave, as someone who punished their liver through many years of drinking. I recommend squeezing one lemon into a glass of water and drinking it after waking up. Fresh lemon juice is like a sanitizer for the liver and will probably help with the gout too.
I'm up for that! Thank you for the advice; I'll most certainly try it!
Here's a great "why conservatives always lose" item: The Oklahoma State Athletic Commission is threatening a pro wrestling promotion (AEW) with sanctions over using a trans wrestler (Nyla Rose) in a women's match. As anyone with an above room temperature IQ knows pro wrestling is not an actual athletic contest (it being under the auspices of an athletic commission is itself somewhat dubious but that's another story). The issue of not allowing trans women to compete in actual athletic contests against actual women is something that most people understand and support. But to enforce this on what is essentially a stage performance makes conservatives look completely stupid and senselessly cruel. They have thus taken a winning issue and senselessly turned it into a negative because they are idiots.
Agreed . Pro wrestling is fake . I knew that when I was about 5 years old .
So in this fake pro wrestling match a trad Christian woman wrestler could defeat any evil Trannie Lib Demorat actor . That should be entertaining in Oklahoma .
All of that is entirely true, but fuck that stupid tranny anyway!
Great point, Mike (as always), and a perfect example of what I talk about in my columns. Thanks!
> Churchill was a snake, to be sure, but his deceitful orchestration of a war over Poland
You definitely lose me there. Hitler in 1938 signed the Munich Pact in complete cynicism, with no intention of following it. He took the Sudetenland when Chamberlain gave it to him, but occupied Czechia less than 6 months later. As soon as that happened, Poland was irreversibly resolved to not make any similar deals over Danzig. An agreement over Danzig similar to Munich could easily have resulted in a German occupation of Poland 6 months later, as occurred with Czechia in March 1939. Poland tightened its stance over Danzig, and Chamberlain was obligated to declare his support for Poland in order to erase the embarrassment over Munish. None of that was orchestrated by Churchill (or by Roosevelt, another favorite target).
Sure, Churchill was hoping for another war to erase the embarrassment over Gallipoli. But like Roosevelt, he mostly just took advantage of some sweet circumstances which were handed into his lap by Hitler. If the Munich Agreement had been respected, with no advance into Czechia in March 1939, then Chamberlain would almost certainly have supported Hitler's calls for a new arrangement over Danzig. For that matter, it's plausible that Jerzy Potocki, the Polish ambassador in Washington, would have done the same.
I remember how back in the '80s Weber published a set of messages from Potocki which showed a very anti-Roosevelt attitude. Weber tried to suggest that these messages implied that Roosevelt was behind the outbreak of war. But what they actually showed was that the Polish ambassador was sounding pro-Hitler right up until the occupation of Czechia.
So, Churchill and Roosevelt were both glad when Hitler handed them a war on a silver platter, but that's about all one can say. Even the attempts by Roosevelt to sell stories about Hitler threatening Latin America were treated very skeptically by the media. It wasn't like 2002 when the Bush administration was given a good reception for its stories of Iraqi WMDs. If Hitler had not honestly appeared to be on the verge of completely overrunning Europe in July 1941, there would have been no way for Roosevelt to renew the peacetime draft on August 12, 1941.
Dave,
You should see if you can find somebody local that has some ferrets; They are first rate rat hunters, and should make quick, entertaining work of your pesky nemesis!
Then what do you do after your house is infested with ferrets?
Oh, that's the easy part. You get a small bobcat....
A very sensible solution
Agreed, and you could make an argument that in the absence of the HRE, Europe would have taken a lot longer to find its way. The primary difference, though, between the Greco-Roman world and the Germanic Medieval world was the Greeks and Romans understood and applied violence but it did not constitute what they considered sublime. The Germanic political culture rested entirely on the warrior elite who only exercised authority inasmuch as they were able to lead other warriors in battle. Their ability to fight and subjugate others was the basis for their wealth and status. That's why Medieval political org charts resembled organized crime syndicates more than what we would consider "governments" today.
Dave,
My goodness you do seem to be troubled these days. One wimpy, whining, wooSS of a Nazi complains, and BOOM, Musk permabans ya !!! A pet rat, that inspired a rockin' anthem, maybe you could do another one about bilateral gout ? I wonder if I posted my first and possibly only video on YouTube of me dying laughin' at something you said, or did, would that get me banned from YT too ?
These days, it probably would my friend!