Z-Man's R-Tards
Cultists, cultists everywhere!
Hope y’all had a wonderful July 4th!
Me? I got drunk and watched fireworks.
The Cheviot Hills fireworks — previously seen only from ground-level at my house, now viewed from above:
Last week’s piece about Z Man, the late lamentable bearded faggon, made me the target of Z Man’s WHITE KNIGHT ARMY!
A great irony. When Z Man (John Christopher Zander) called for me to be “hanged” in 2015, it was because he thought I was a coward for criticizing Andrew Breitbart after Breitbart was dead and could no longer defend himself.
Of course, I sent Eternal Zzzzzz Man links from the sites I was writing for in 2010 showing that my criticisms of Breitbart were made when the walking coronary had not yet guzzled his final Cab. I always made my critiques of Breitbart right to his face. We knew each other, we didn’t care for each other. If there’s one thing I’m not afraid of, it’s confronting someone while they live.
So now we have this odd dynamic in which Z Man was white knighting for a dead guy he’d never met, and now he’s dead, and his cult of retards is white knighting for him, a man they’d never met.
The circle of anencephally. A glorious thing to witness.
For three years readers have been asking why Z vanished from Takimag along with his archive. And I’d always reply that I wouldn’t discuss it because it’s an internal Takimag matter. Then I left Takimag, and it’s not my fault that Z upped and died as I was preparing to tell the story.
Though I wish it were. I mean, had there been just one week’s difference in timing, had I not been living out of extended stays and struggling to find the right new residence all throughout June, my piece would’ve run a week before Z Man died, instead of two days after.
And then I could’ve for the rest of my life entertained the notion that my embarrassing revelations killed him.
A feather in my cap! Why would I have wanted to miss that?
In my previous Substack, I told what I thought was a very simple tale. In 2015 Z Man called for me to be hanged, and I found his true identity because I’m more clever than he was even on his best day. Z Man erased all traces of the offending post, and I let him know that our business was settled.
In 2020 Taki’s daughter Mandolyna brought Z Man, the comment section troll she banned before she decided to liquidate comments entirely, on-board as a new weekly columnist to replace Goad.
Several of you have asked “why would Mandolyna hire a troll who so offended her that she’d not only banned him but ended all comments just to ensure he’d never return?”
A legitimate question, and the answer is comical. In the years after Mandolyna quashed comments, she’d literally forgotten that Z Man ever existed and that she’d banned him for trolling.
That’s how little she cared about any of this. She’s an heiress socialite forced by her dad to deal with us writers. We’re Chinamen to her; we all look alike. So when Goad left and Jared Taylor and Peter Brimelow recommended Z Man (he’d ingratiated himself to them, painting himself as a tortured genius forced to live in squalid Baltimore because nobody gets him, maaaaaaaan), disinterested Mandolyna hired him with no memory of the history between them.
And when I told her the history? Well, she’s Mandolyna! She can’t admit error. Or forgetfulness. She had to stand by her decision even more staunchly because to do otherwise might’ve been seen as conceding that she’d fucked up.
As I stated in my piece, I accepted her decision and I even reached out to Z Man to be friends now that we were colleagues.
Always the coward, he refused to reply (I never blamed him; when your beard is both Hatfield and McCoy, you’re defined by internal strife).
In 2022 a reader sent Mandolyna an email claiming that Z Man had been plagiarizing columns. She asked Z about the charge, and he quit in a huff. My only role was that Mandolyna asked me to review the reader’s email, and I said that it merited further investigation.
I was not party to the exchange between Mandolyna and Z Man; Mandolyna simply relayed it to me.
You guys asked for the story, and I told it.
But after I did, in came the Z MAN WHITE KNIGHTS, bombarding me with comments on Substack and X:
WHERE’S YER PROOF THAT OUR DEAR LEADER EVER PLAGIARIZED? SHOW US YER PROOF, JEW! SHOW US NOW! PROOOOOOOOOOOF!
Sincerely,
Proofy McProofersen 1488 Proofton Road Proofberg, Proofsylvania
If you’re one of my sentient readers (and if you’re not certain if you fall into that category, stop what you’re doing and answer this question: is one finger up your nose and the other up your ass? If yes, then you’re not in that category. Bonus points if both fingers are on the same had), you may wonder why these intrepid sleuths are asking me the “proof” question when I was but a bystander in the events. A reader alerted Mandolyna to the plagiarism, she’s the one who grilled Z Man, and she’s the one to whom he threw a fit and quit.
Over the past ten years, whenever a reader tried to get me fired for blaspheming a god-king (Trump, Tucker, Bannon, Hitler), they always managed to find Mandolyna’s email and complain directly to her. It’s a dynamic common to all professional writers: readers who like your work will reach out to you; readers who don’t will reach out to your editor. This gives editors the impression that their authors are only hated, never loved.
Honestly folks, next time you like a writer, tell the editor! I get that you want to let the author know how you feel, but most of us are pathological egotists so we don’t need the boost. We already think highly of ourselves. What we need is the job. And praising us to our editor helps us keep the job.
Anyway, Z Man’s WHITE KNIGHT ARMY pilloried me all week with demands for PROOF!!!!!! And I’d respond with “I told the story, I had my say; if you want to SLOOTH OUT the claim, take it up with the woman who can speak directly regarding the matter, because I was just a third party.”
So, sentient readers, you’re likely asking why didn’t these WHITE KNIGHT SOOPERSLEUTHS take it up with Mandolyna?
Because they’re not even remotely interested in “proof.” White Knighting is purely performative, a way for insignificant losers with no life to receive some small attention by publicly defending an idol they never met.
Why else would Z Man’s ARMY OF TARDS bombard my X and Substack when, if they truly had questions, they could get them answered by a neutral third party?
Take this asshole, for example.
William Briggs.
THEE William Briggs.
Never heard of him?
Oh, you poor bastards. Briggs is a self-described UNMASKER. Yes, that’s what he calls himself. He’ll unmask ANYTHING. Phantom of the Opera, Zorro, Lone Ranger, Jim Carrey, Cher’s deformed son. When it comes to unmasking, William Briggs is the best.
Here’s what he looks like:
Turns out he’s the result of a genetic experiment gone terribly wrong. DNA from Michael Gross…
…and Michael Berryman…
…created a real-life iteration of Egghead.
Unmasker, mask thyself. That face can peel paint.
In 2021, Briggs (X handle “FamedCelebrity”) self-published a book with the entirely-not-pretentious title of Everything You Believe Is Wrong. This is how he describes the book on Amazon:
“After you close it covers, you, dear reader, will find that you are based.Coincidence?”
I’m not making that up. I copy/pasted it.
Last week Briggs, on his Substack with SEVERAL THOUSAND SUBS, penned a fond farewell to the Dr. Demento show.
I hate him already.
And in his tribute to the guy who made Americans change radio stations faster than when mariachi music comes on, Briggs added, “Nobody can replace Dr. Demento, but the guy who REALLY did radio/podcasts well is Z Man. Sadly, the great one just died.”
So one of my readers, imp that he is, posted my Z Man obit in the comments of Briggs’ piece.
And how did Briggs respond? By DMing me respectfully? No…by leaving a rambling comment on my Substack, referring to me in the third person.
I’m not gonna quote the entire thing, but here’s the beginning:
I see Cole's accusations, but he offers no proof. If he has it, he ought to give it. As Cole said, the accusation of plagiarism is the most serious you can make against a writer. These must be backed up.
Again, why is Briggs, this BASED bullet-head genius, posting a comment on my Substack instead of emailing Takimag to check on my claims?
Because, as I said, White Knighters are performative. They don’t seek answers; they seek to preen before their tiny stable of fellow losers.
I don’t allow that on my Substack. The loons have all of X to themselves, courtesy of the wealthiest sieg heiler on earth. This Substack is my little piece of sanity. Loons can go elsewhere.
At the same time, loons can be instructive. White Knighters are very much like Holocaust deniers in terms of, they share a pathology. Deniers “ask qwestchins” but never seek answers. Again, performative. They ask in insincerity. There’s not a denier alive who’s ever asked me a question that couldn’t have been answered by reading a standard Holocaust history book.
If you’re a prospective engineer or plumber you read up on the mechanics of your would-be profession because you genuinely seek to learn so that you can participate in the field. Imagine a world in which every plumber, instead of knowing how toilets work, instead responded to calls for assistance with “but how does the waste leave the bowl? Is the tank really needed for that? Or is something else at play? Maybe a giant grouper is in the pipes sucking down the waste! Can you prove it ISN’T a grouper? I can’t fix your toilet but I can EXPAND YOUR MIND with my qwestchins, and in the long run, that’s more important.”
If Briggs wanted answers, he could’ve emailed Mandolyna. But no, he wanted to be a HERO to his fellow retards.
I’ve often described Holocaust denial as a cult. Of course, deniers hate that. “Why are we a CULT, Cole?”
Because cultists are obsessed with rote recitation.
“The Holy Bagwanbananarama gives us fresh water. Without his psychic influence, all water would be salt. We must thank him for his gift. So sayeth the Book of Bungwana, chapter 5, verse 18.”
“But how to you explain the presence of fresh water on the earth prior to the Bagwanbananarama’s birth?”
“The Holy Bagwanbananarama gives us fresh water. Without his psychic influence, all water would be salt. We must thank him for his gift. So sayeth the Book of Bungwana, chapter 5, verse 18.”
No engagement, just rote recitation. Cultists don’t listen; they only mindlessly repeat talking points.
That’s deniers. You can’t have a discussion with them because all they do is recite memes.
That’s also White Knighters. In my Z Man obit, I went out of my way to stress that I didn’t take his 2015 “hanged” comment as a credible threat:
I don’t allow anons to threaten my life. To be clear, I don’t fear those anons, or their threats. Indeed, one of my biggest beefs with X culture is morons (left and right) screeching “I’m getting DEATH THREATS! Pity me Marley, speak comforts to me. I’m as good as dead.”
No you’re not. Online death threats are as meaningless as they are numerous. I don’t fear them at all. But I like fucking with people who make them. Just because. Just because “Z Man” said “David Cole should be hanged for criticizing the God-king Breitbart” and I was like “I’m gonna fuck with you because I’m smarter and I wanna rub your face in it.”
That seems rather clearly-written (cut to William Briggs sitting in his trailer going “after you read it you find no cover you based. No based.Coincidence?”).
One of Z Man’s White Knight army, “Daniel Ross,” replied:
wtf Mr. Cole, just because someone says you deserve to be hanged doesn't mean he actually wants you dead. As a writer, you should know of the uses of figurative speech. But then again, as a Jew you must be pretty neurotic.
See, these Z Man cultists can only respond with something anti-Jewish. Like a Moonie or Scientologist or Jehovah’s Witness, they have their rote recitation plugged in, ready to roll. I say “I didn’t take the ‘hanged’ comment seriously or as a genuine threat,” and they can only reply with “You neurotic Jew; you shouldn’t take the ‘hanged’ comment seriously or as a genuine threat.”
They cannot think, they can only recite.
Deformed monstrosity Briggs…
…alerted the Z Man cultists on X that I had dared attack their god-king. And this was my entire July 4th weekend:
Only because I am.
Anyway, please don’t get the impression that any of this offends me. I’ve never cared what strangers say. Hell, I barely care what friends say!
In the midst of the cult onslaught, one of my sentient readers found an interesting additional piece of info. Turns out Nazi extraordinaire “Vox Day” (Ted Beale) called Z Man out for his plagiarism back in 2017. Beale even mentioned the fanaticism of Z cultists. Here’s the link:
Well shit, White Knighters, you can’t write that one off as coming from a “neurotic Jew.” It’s one of your own. And he’s no fan of mine; Beale once accused me of single-handedly suppressing the Epstein list of Hollywood pedos.
How very insulting to think that I’m a man of such low character. Had I the list, I’d be using it for blackmail!
Yet even Beale has to cede that Z Man routinely pilfered.
Face it, cultists — your god-king was a plagiarist. Fuck off and get a life.
If you know my daily struggle to kill off my Holocaust denial cultists, you know that the one thing I don’t want is cultists. Only the most sociopathic losers among us want cultists.
When I die, and that could be twenty years from now or twenty minutes (Tom Hanks is really tiring of the blackmail payments), please don’t white knight for me. Remember a joke I told that you enjoyed, and share it. That’s the only tribute I want.
Leave the white knighting to the tards. You, and I, are better than that.
"The circle of anencephaly"
I'm stealing that
Follow the advice of Norm: " When I die I am donating my body to science, preferably scientists working on bringing dead people back to life".